A Very Merry Ed-mas is a fanfic written by Jawbreaker497 of Edtropolis.com. This fanfic is about The Eds and Co. having Christmas in the mountains.
Double D's Diary: December 18
Christmas is getting closer and closer in Peach Creek, the cul-de-sac has been getting into the Christmas spirit more and more every day. Decorations are up, gifts are being bought, 1 foot of snow is on the ground, and everyone is being kind to each other. Everyone is standing around the giant cardboard Christmas tree in the cul-de-sac singing carols. And I'm getting ready to join them.
Nazz: Ok, Ed, it's your turn to sing a song.
Kevin: This should be good.
Ed began to sing before anyone could get out their earplugs.
Ed: Grandma got run over by a chicken... walking home from our house New Years Eve... you can say there is no such thing as chickens... but as for me and Rolfy we believe. She had been drinking all of the fruit punch... so we begged her to please go... she then declared war upon our family... and then she tripped and fell in the snow. Grandma got run over by a...
Kevin: OK enough of that! Eddy's turn!
Eddy began to rip off the song jingle bells.
Eddy: Dashing through the lane... trying to make cash... scamming all the kids... never making loot...someone always wrecks the scam... the kankers in particular... is it really all that much to ask for just a little green? Oh, I want cash, things to smash, my own national bank...
Sarah: Ahhhhhh!!!!! Please no more!
Jimmy: You know, this is getting boring. Lets do something else, Sarah.
Everyone split up and did something else. The Eds went to the lane.
Eddy: Guess what, boys? Since I'm broke I couldn't get you guys a present. So I decided to give guys a vacation from scams.
Edd: I'm sorry. I must still be hearing those Christmas carols in my head, what did you say?
Eddy: No scams for a while.
Edd: How delightful!
Just then, Kevin ran into the lane.
Kevin: Eds! I've told everyone except you. I've rented a cabin. All of us are going up to the mountains for Christmas.
Eddy: Are you sure, Kevin? I mean, even if it is Christmas I still don't trust you.
Kevin: Look, if you don't want to come, then don't. But when you are not able to talk about how cool it was, don't cry to me.
Edd: Wait! Now lets not get nasty this close to the holidays, fellas. Sure, Kevin, we'll come.
Eddy: How long are we staying there?
Kevin: Until the day after Christmas.
Eddy: And you said everyone is going?
Ed: Even Rolf's chickens?
Kevin: If he wants to bring them.
Eddy: Hold on! You said everyone was going?
Kevin: Is there some hidden rewind button around here or something?
Eddy: You mean that we have to spend the rest of the Christmas period with the Kankers?
Kevin: Yep. And you guys are going to tell them that they are allowed to come.
The Eds' mouths dropped to the ground.
Edd: Ok... well. We'll do our best to get them. That is, if we have enough time to get them. When do we leave for the mountains?
Kevin: 6:00 tonight. It's 5:45.
Edd: Holy crap! Lets go, guys.
The Eds ran to the trailer park. They saw on the Kankers' trailer door there was a wreath with the Eds' picture on it.
Edd: Ok, lets go.
Eddy: What do you mean? You said we would get them, so get them!
Edd: Very well.
Edd knocked on the door and the Kankers answered. They smiled and pulled Edd into the trailer.
Edd: HELP ME!!!
Ed and Eddy started knocking on the door.
Eddy: Hey! Get back out here!
The door opened up again and Edd flew out of the trailer with kiss marks on his face.
Edd: You know, If all the girls are gonna be like the Kankers in high school, then I don't think I want to date anyone.
Marie: Who's next?
Eddy: Look, we're not here to go through the Holocaust, we just want to tell you that Kevin rented a cabin for the holidays and you're invited.
May: We are?
Lee: OK we'll come.
The Kids rented a double - decker bus and began to drive to the mountains.
Double D's Diary: December 20
We have been on the road for two days now. Even I didn't know that we were this far away from the mountains. At one point, we all temporarily lost all our common sense and let Ed drive the bus. And only 7 kids got hurt too! A NEW RECORD! Anyway, they should heal by the time we get to the cabin.
2 hours later the kids got to the cabin. It didn't seem like much because it was almost completely engulfed in snow. But the kids got inside without much trouble. The cabin was huge on the inside, the walls and floor were made of wood. And there was a circular hole in the ceiling making a balcony overlooking the kitchen and the living room. There was a big screen TV with surround sound and a pool table in the other room. Upstairs there was just enough bedrooms for everyone, except two people would have to share a bed each night.
Sarah: Well this sure isn't as good as I thought.
Kevin: What a critic.
Nazz: Hey, who is going to share that bed for tonight?
Edd: I guess I could share a bed for the night.
Marie: I'll be your roommate.
Marie put her cheek (Face cheek) to Edd's.
Marie: Don't worry, I don't bite.
Edd: What's that supposed to mean?
Eddy: Oooohhh... look out, Double D...
Rolf: Rolf thinks that tomorrow will be a good day to get a Christmas tree, yes?
Jonny: Yeah! I'll go with you, Rolf.
Nazz: I'm gonna get dinner started.
Jimmy: What are you making?
Nazz: Maccaroni and cheese.
The next day all the boys woke up and had Chunky Puffs for breakfast. Then they sat down in the comfy chairs and couches and watched their big screen TV.
Rolf: What do you want to watch?
Kevin: I want to watch the Winter X Games.
Jimmy: I want to watch the beauty channel.
Everyone starred at Jimmy.
Eddy: You do know that you are a boy, right, Jimmy?
Jonny: Me and Plank want to watch the lumberjack tournament.
Eddy: I want to watch The Bill Gates Show. I love Bill Gates!
Ed stood up in front of the TV.
Ed: Lets watch Godzilla VS. Megalon!
Someone threw a soda can at Ed's head.
Rolf: Well, Jonny-the-wood-boy we best go find a tree now before the sun sets.
Jonny: But its 8:30 a.m.
Rolf: In my home country, it's midnight, let's go.
Jonny: OK, coming!
Rolf grabbed an axe and a coat and headed out the door. Jonny grabbed Plank and a coat and followed.
Jimmy: Hey, have you guys noticed that Double D isn't up yet?
Eddy: Hey, curly is right. Double D never sleeps in.
Edd: What about Double D?
Edd was right behind them but he kept his face hidden.
Ed: Why is Double D censoring his face?
Eddy: Yeah, Double D. What's up with you today?
Edd uncovered his face revealing kiss marks all over it.
Edd: Oh yeah, like Marie was going to let me get any sleep.
Edd washed his face off and got some breakfast.
Edd: Girls these days. I'll tell ya.
Kevin: Speaking of girls, where are all of them?
Jimmy: I haven't seen them.
The boys of the house searched around the cabin for all of the missing girls, Jimmy was the only one who seemed to want to find Sarah. Meanwhile in the woods Rolf and Jonny were still looking for a tree.
Jonny: La de da de da la de da.
Rolf: Rolf wishes he could be immature again sometimes.
Jonny: Hey, Rolf! Look at the one Plank found.
Jonny led Rolf to a perfect sized tree with just the right branches.
Jonny: A Dutch elm! Just like you, Plank!
Rolf hoisted up his axe and prepared to chop down the tree.
Rolf: Good choice, Jonny! Now stand back!
Jonny: What are you doing?
Rolf: What does it look like? I'm hacking down the tree.
Jonny jumped in front of the tree.
Jonny: Oh no you don't! Not this tree!!!
Rolf lowered his eyelids.
Back at the cabin.
Eddy: Double D. You didn't give up looking did you?
Edd: No, I'm looking for my diary. I haven't seen it for a long time. Its my most valuable book.
Ed: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH... so that WAS a book I sacrificed to the winter demons last night.
Edd: ED! You numskull!!!
That night the girls were still nowhere to be found. Ed, Edd, Eddy, Jimmy, and Kevin had given up searching and just had to assume that the girls were all right. As Ed turned on the Sci-fi channel Rolf came in dragging the tree that he and Jonny found with Jonny coming in crying.
Jonny: WAAAAA! I told you not to cut down that one! Why, Rolf, WHY?!
Rolf: I told you my customs already! Stop mourning.
So the boys set up the tree and decorated it by themselves. When all of a sudden, Sarah came in the back door with a swimsuit on.
Jimmy: Sarah! Where have you been?
Sarah: Me and the rest of the girls have been out in the forest hunting. We each got a deer.
Eddy: And why are you wearing a swimsuit?
Sarah: Haven't you noticed yet? There is a hot tub on the back deck. Its really nice to be in one in the snow. Hey, why don't you guys come out with us?
No one answered.
Sarah: How about you, Double D?
Edd: Oh I don't think... hey what are you doing?
Sarah grabbed Edd and dragged him outside.
Eddy: Double D?
Edd could be heard from outside.
Edd: HELP ME!!!
Kevin: That kid needs to learn to defend himself.
Rolf: Do not mock him, Kevin. Wusses are greatly respected in my home country.
Ed and Eddy opened the back door and looked in the hot tub Edd and all the girls were around him.
Edd: ... and then she says "Hey! This isn't a rabbit!" Ha ha ha ha! I kill myself with that one every time!
The girls knew it wasn't funny but they laughed just to be polite.
Eddy: You're an animal, Double D.
Ed: Why thank you, Eddy.
Eddy: We'll just leave you guys alone.
Ed and Eddy went back in the living room and saw Rolf, Jonny, Jimmy, and Kevin struggling to get the star on top of the tree.
The next day, the Kankers went out and bought some mistletoe. They put it on a spot where they thought the Eds would pass by most. They stood under it most of the day since they and the Eds were the only ones in the cabin at that time since everyone else was doing Christmas shopping.
Lee: This is taking way to long.
May: Don't they ever get hungry?
Marie: Must be a boy thing.
Then the Eds came around a corner chatting and laughing, therefore not noticing the Kankers. They walked by them and into the kitchen.
Edd: Good morning, ladies.
The Kankers grabbed the back of the Eds' shirts.
Eddy: What are you doing?
May pointed up to the mistletoe.
Ed: We are goners, Eddy!
Eddy: So what!? It looks like any old ordinary mistletoe.
Marie: You three and us three are under it. You know what that means.
Eddy: ... I hate you.
Kankers: Triple threat kiss-a-thon!!!
Lee: Whoo Hoo! That was a good one! I'll bet the Eds need therapy after that!
Once everyone came home from shopping and the Eds were done with their therapy, everyone was playing pool on the pool table (DUH!) and Sarah and Kevin were making dinner. Sarah was complaining.
Sarah: Oh, come on, Kevin! You rented the cabin so its basically yours, can't you tell Ed to sleep somewhere else and let Jimmy sleep with me?
Kevin: Sorry, I pulled yours and Ed's names out of the hat fair and square.
Kevin: Well, Sarah, I had to share a bed with Jonny last night I think you can take a night with Ed.
Sarah: But sleeping with your BROTHER?! Do you know how sick that is? I have nightmares about what that kid does in bed alone when I'm NOT there to stop him.
Kevin: Oh, stop whining.
Sarah walked away in a cranky mood.
The next day was Christmas Eve. Everyone decided that they would be as nice as they possibly could. Jonny was going to make dinner so he left for the day to gather ingredients.
Kevin: I bet he's gonna buy a log and cook it.
Jimmy and Nazz were putting the presents under the Christmas tree.
Nazz: I can't wait until tonight, its going to be so fun!
Eddy: What can we do to pass the time until then?
Rolf: Lets count the toes of all the people in the cabin, I love doing that! How 'bout it?
Eddy: How 'bout not?
The kids had a snowball fight for practically the whole day until Jonny got home. Which wasn't until night. He started to cook the food and everyone came inside.
Edd: Why don't we exchange our gifts now?
Ed: Presents for Ed!
Ed picked up all of the presents and started running around with them but he tripped and dropped them in the fire. Everyone started yelling at Ed.
Edd: Ed, why did you drop them in the fire?! I got Kevin bike oil! Its gonna blow!
Ed: What is bike oil?
The oil in the fire ignited and the fire got huge.
Ed: WOW! That fire is big. How come I don't have a fire that big? I want a fire that big!
Nazz: Aww, what does it matter that we lost the presents? Christmas is about being together. Right?
Everyone: You're right, Nazz. Sorry, Ed.
Ed: Who are you people? Where am I?
Jonny: Dinner is ready!
Everyone sat down for dinner. Jonny brought out small dishes like mashed potatoes, stuffing, etc. Then he brought out the main course. He kept it covered with a lid.
Jimmy: Wow this looks good, Jonny. What is it?
Jonny pulled the lid off.
Jonny: I made a chicken!
Rolf and Ed: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Rolf and Ed were infuriated knowing that Jonny cooked a chicken.
Rolf: Jonny-the-wood-boy! You have ruined the spirit of Christmas for the son of a shepherd! No more urban ranger badges for you! Shack-lav-a!
Rolf jumped on Jonny and started pummeling him. Ed stood up.
Ed: Yes! Shack-a-vo-sum...deven...del -nef... uhh.
Ed turned around.
Ed then jumped on Jonny.
Jonny: HELP! RUN, PLANK!
Sarah grabbed Ed and pulled hi off of Jonny.
Sarah: ED!!! Leave Jonny alone! He worked so hard to make that chicken!
Ed: Baby sister! SHAME ON YOU!!!
Ed then jumped on Sarah and started beating her up. (Bet you won't see those words in any other fic.) Everyone was cheering for Ed.
Eddy: Go, monobrow, go!
Kevin: He's definitely not a dork anymore.
Jimmy: Go Ed! Go Ed! Beat that whiny little... I mean, Sarah are you all right?
Rolf had stopped beating Jonny and they both stopped to watch Ed and Sarah. When all of a sudden...
Voice: Hey! What's going on here?
The kids looked by the chimney and saw a big fat man in a red suit and a big sack.
Everyone: Santa Claus!!!!!
Santa: Ho ho ho! Hello, everyone. I've been looking for you guys. Peach Creek was empty so I came here. I've got some things for you.
All the kids cheered as Santa pulled out a bunch of gifts.
Santa: This is for you, Nazz.
Nazz opened her gift.
Nazz: Wow! New roller blades!
Santa: Here you go, Rolf.
Rolf: Yippee! Candied beets!!
Santa: This is for Eddward.
Edd: Oh my! An electron microscope!!!!
Santa: This one's for ol' Jonny and Plank.
Jonny: Wood varnish! Yayyyyy!
Santa: This is for Sarah.
Sarah: A new dolly!
Santa: Here you go, Jimmy.
Jimmy: A new comb set!
Santa: This is for the Kanker Sisters.
Kankers: Pictures of the Eds! Thank you!
Santa: This is for you, Eddy.
Eddy: Wow! I must be dreaming! I got cash!
Santa: Here is Kevin's.
Kevin: A bike helmet! Radical!
Santa: And the last one is for you, Ed.
Ed opened his present. Tears of joy came out of his eyes.
Ed: Ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, ch...
Eddy: NO ED!
Santa: I'm glad you like it.
Ed: Like it? I love it! Must hug Santa!!!
Santa: Ed! NO!
Ed started chasing Santa around the cabin.
Santa: Ed, stop! Please! NO! I beg you! This wasn't in the job description!
All of a sudden, Santa stopped. So did Ed.
Santa pulled out a magic wand. So did Ed. They somehow got perfect British accents and started to imitate the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets scene from the movie where Harry and Malfoy were going to duel.
Ed: (In his British accent) Scared, Santa?
Santa: (In his accent) You wish.
Then their accents were gone. Santa put away his wand and pulled out a card and then started to rip of Yu-Gi-Oh.
Santa: Time to duel!!
Ed put away his wand and pulled out a sock and sniffed it. Ed then grew red and yellow hair.
Rolf: When Ed sniffs the bicentennial sock, he becomes Ed-Gi-Oh! King of lame.
Jonny: Wow, Rolf! That narrator voice really sounded professional!
Rolf: Thank you!
Ed then pulled out a card.
Santa: I summon... Rudolph the psychotic reindeer in strait jacket mode!
A reindeer in a strait jacket appeared.
Ed: I summon... the queen of hearts! I mean the chicken of cluck in pecking mode!
Ed's chicken charged at the reindeer and the reindeer exploded.
Ed: Ha! I win!
Santa: You may have won this one but we'll have a rematch next year!
Santa ran out the front door. There was silence.
Kevin: Well that was weird.
Jimmy: Hey! Its midnight! Merry Christmas everyone!
Everyone: Merry Christmas!
The Kankers grabbed the Eds and dragged them out of the room to give them a Christmas present (You know what they did)
Outside, Santa could be seen flying over the cabin.
Santa: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas to all and to all... watch out for Ed and his bicentennial sock!