"Oh yeah! Didn't we win an Emmy for that episode?"-- Eddy

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"Don't touch that dial, kids!"-- Ed

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Command Ed Conquer is a real time strategy/first person shooter, featuring Ed, Edd n Eddy. Sadly this is only an idea and will likely never be developed but this page tells what it would be like.


Players may choose any of the five factions starting with a limited amount of credits to buy leader powers, combat units, weapons, and upgrades. Players can attain resources by killing opponents or finding objects of value (money, jewels, scrap metal, etc.) to purchase new units mid-battle. Players can choose to play as any infantry their faction has, each in a different category including:

  • Mainline-A generic yet all rounded soldier.
  • Anti-vehicle-Best against vehicles and aircraft but not against other infantry.
  • Sniper-Excellent at long range but at close range are little more than fire support.
  • C.Q.C. (Close Quarters Combat)-Basically the opposite of a sniper.
  • Pilot-Simply the most dedicated vehicular combatants there are.
  • Spy-Need enemy secrets? Use a spy for your nosey needs.
  • Leader-Will be explained below.

All forms of infantry can enter vehicles but their effectiveness depends on three factors

  1. What category they are.
  2. What type of vehicle which includes:
  • Scout-Lightly armed and armored but fast and reliable.
  • Transport-Perfect for moving troops, vehicles, or supplies where they are needed.
  • Tank-Slow, big, and powerful, tanks are good for any assault they come in light, medium, or heavy sub-types.
  • Aircraft include fixed wing or VTOL

For example a spy would excell with scouts because of their speed and Agility but would do poorly with tanks because they are slow and bulky.

What faction the vehicle is from. In addition to driving vehicles any category can use most weapons but again their effectiveness depends on vehicle factors one and three except account for weapons in this case.

Weapons consist of firearms like shotguns, sniper rifles, pistols etc. Explosives like grenades or charges and melee like knives but some are military grade, high tech, makeshift, or even barbaric in appearance but they are all lethal.

Leader units are obviously the leader of their faction. They excel at any vehicle and weapon regardless of the above factors and are powerful and unique units each with a special ability and are accessible without purchase. However leader units can only be available only when the player proves skill on the battlefield. (this was meant to prevent n00bs from such worthy units) Plus each special ability has a negative effect.

Ultimate units are powerful and could be any type of vehicle excluding scout. They are immense, heavily armed and armored but are very slow and they can only be summoned with a leader power.

Leader powers are used to help in the battle, there are three types of leader powers. Offensive, Defensive, and Support.

  • Offensive powers include artillery strikes, bombing runs with explosive or chemical weapons or anything that would be considered offensive.
  • Defensive powers would include short range GPS scans to locate stealth and setting up deployable cover and turrets. (both deployable and stationary plus turrets can be predeployed to counter a specific type anti aircraft, vehicle, or infantry)
  • Support powers would include, reinforcements, temporary attack, defense, speed, health or ammo bonuses, and the ability to summon Ultimate units.

For those times when you get an ouchie (and you will a lot if you’re a n00b) feel free to find some Morphine or Steroids to stay in the fight.

The Prologue

June 18, 2013

Moscow, Russia

Russian Nuclear Defense Depot 4:01 AM.

A spy from unknown allegiance hacked into the nuclear defense main completely disabling it.

Washington D.C.

The Pentagon 4:01 AM.

Another spy of unknown origin launches numerous ICBMs towards major cities in China and disables the Aegis defense stations preventing the impact.

Beijing, China

Fort Xang 5:19 AM.

Sensors detect the missiles incoming and while angry at the Russians for abandoning their communist ways redirect most but not all of the warheads toward Russia however one slipped past and vaporized Shanghai.

World War III starts the entire globe begins to fight each other except for the Balkan states but even then the Prime Minister and his wife were killed when their plane was shot down by Russian MIGs.

Enough of the international news this is about a certain cul-de-sac. By now most of the kids are 17-19 except for Sarah and Jimmy who are both 13. Ed is still dumb but his bursts of Intelligence are more frequent. Edd has spent his time building and inventing war machines for the U.S. effort and Rolf has been in the United States long enough to be accustomed. Other than those changes everyone stayed the same.

Everyone was aware of the war but suddenly when an stranger arrived with shocking news. This stranger is revealed to be Rolf’s uncle and explains that Rolf is the sole heir to the recently formed Balkan Commonwealth but was given away when he was little to a peasant family to protect him from the political corruption the countries had before formation but since his homeland needs him Rolf accepts and is to leave for Sarajevo tomorrow.

The next day on the way to the airfield he noticed explosions that seem to be coming from the Cul-de-sac but simply denied it. Soon after Rolf and his uncle were ambushed by the Chinese while they both survived Rolf knew that he would never leave safely. Luckily Rolf’s newfound uncle was in fact an Commander of the Royal Guard which was sent to Peach Creek to escort Rolf.

After several days of thought he decided to return to the cul-de-sac secure it and build his new capital there but suddenly the sky turned dark, lightning flashed and

what seemed to be a portal opened in the horizon with explosions in the distance.

Once returning Rolf saw something very shocking. Demons, humanoid plants, machines and people were fighting each other. Eddy, Jimmy, and Sarah were dead and Rolf was in the middle of the Cul-de-sac Cataclysm.


The Armies of Evil Tim (A.K.A. Ed)

Ed being the gravy slurping, monster movie loving fanatic he is wanted to take over the world and several hours of thought later to once again release the curse of Evil Tim. After the Eds broke up, Ed has (partially) successfully summoned a massive army composed of various monsters and fiends all who obey Ed's every command. Ed then prepared his forces to fight in the Cul-de-sac Cataclysm and should he succeed summon Evil Tim completely and be his most loyal General.

Unit summary: Eds army is composed of creatures of different shapes and sizes that use brute force. Ed does not have regular vehicles but massive creatures instead that are just as powerful maybe more. Ed does not have a lot of aircraft but his ground forces are quite powerful.

Leader Ability: Ed mutates into the Monolith known as Edzilla (albeit with a more realistic look) allowing him to smash his opponets with his already intense Strength and burn their corpses with his fire breath yet loses speed greatly, the ability to enter normally accessible areas and the effect lasts until the end of the fight or if Ed falls.

The Lancers (AKA Edd)

When the Eds broke up Edd was no longer being held back and could finally begin to invent to better society. But also gained the grief of losing Eddy plus the millions he killed with his machines when the Cul-de-sac Cataclysm broke out, Edd had two final things preventing him from his goal. War and insanity.

Unit summary: Edd has the most advanced technology of them all including robotic sentries armed with energy weapons, human accessible vehicles (for gameplay reasons) and a mighty air force but is it enough? (especially when they are so expensive?)

Leader Ability: Edd activates an E.M. Pulse disabling vehicles and stuns infantry in the local area freind and foe alike for 20 seconds.

The Balkan Commenwealth (A.K.A. Rolf)

Peach Creeks favorite foreigner. After Rolf learned of his royalty and returned to the cul-de-sac proceeded to unleash the Urban Rangers and announced that they were actually a well equipped infantry battalion from his homeland cleverly disguised as a scout group in American cells in addition to the Royal Guard.

Unfortunately his three lieutenants ex-rangers Jimmy (deceased), Jonny, and Plank disbanded forming their own military to fight in the Cul-de-sac Cataclysm.

Unit summary: Rolf’s soldiers are more well trained in combat than they look and are not called Urban Rangers for nothing. Along with utilizing the most modern vehicles like helicopters Rolfs forces are balanced and can fight just about any enemy but can he succeed?

Leader Ability: Rolf dons the mighty Hat of Discipline for deadly melee combos but his Endurance can not last and leaves the once thought Son of a Shepard exhausted and vulnerable afterward.

The Remnants (A.K.A. Kevin and Nazz)

Kevin could not believe what was happening but he knew that he had to lead the towns people of Peach Creek and Lemon Brook to victory against the opponents in the Cul-de-sac Cataclysm with Nazz as his informer.

Unit summary: Kevin never wanted to fight but still formed an militia out of the two towns using whatever weapons and vehicles they could scavenge. With no aircraft and their weak state. The Remnants must rely on stealth, guerilla tactics and Luck to win the day.

Leader Ability: Kevin makes all freindly units within radious cloaked from normal sensors and even eyesight, but causes Kevin to be seen by everybody's Perception.

The New Era (A.K.A. Jonny and Plank)

Jonny and Plank could not be separated by anything like war, but when a bolt of lightning caused by the storm Evil Tim’s curse made struck Plank, the 2x4 was unphased by the bolt and Jonny was not concerned. Suddenly Plank with his Charisma ‘told’ Jonny to enter the forest, once there it happened. Plank suddenly latched himself onto Jonny’s chest and sprouted roots that dug into the Melon Head's flesh. Plank/Jonny then shot the same lightning bolt as before at nearby trees it became clear that Plank was in charge all this time. Planks ultimate goal is to decimate humanity and start a new civlization of plants as the domninant species of Earth.

Unit Summary: The trees dropped seeds that quickly grew into hideous yet frail humanoid plants. Unfortunately they have weak vehicles besides those captured but with but with bark skin and trees spawning more with ease. Who needs them? (Especially when the are very cheap to buy and are made in numbers) However The New Era's power comes from possessing others to gain domination.

Leader Ability: By sacrificing health Jonny/Plank launches a volley of pinecones, and enemies who are hit are possessed by his/their perverted seed.

Other information

  • This game would be rated M for blood and gore, intense violence language and use of drugs. This game is meant for longtime Ed Edd & Eddy viewers.
  • The Kanker Sisters are not playable but will be in the expansion. Command Ed Conquer: The Mondo Operations. (which will sadly never come)
  • Despite the prologue the Remnants campaign is canon.
  • This idea is a tribute to the Command & Conquer franchise and it's creator Westwood Studios. (1985-2003)
  • There is a hidden refrence to a video game series in this article.
  • It is possible that an actual story based on the Campaign will be written. (No promises)
  • This idea was created by the author and should this or any property respectively belonging to them be used without their permission and/or proper crediting of said property they will be most displeased. And they will too.

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