Ed Abuse is a fanfiction by TEd711, in which Ed has had enough of Sarah and everyone who's had his ways with him.
Normally, Ed would comply with Sarah's "requests". But after a chat with himself, he has decided enough is enough. Watch as Ed goes through suffering that he'd never have to go through before, Sarah realizes her mistakes, and finally apologizes to Ed.
List of Scams
- Ed's Ping Pong Table
- Sell Funeral suits
(This ending is rated PG-13 for some mature themes)
What if Ed didn't apologize to Sarah? What would happen if Sarah's apology didn't work? This is the dark ending of Ed Abuse.
- Sarah: "Get up, Stupid. I'd like you to make me a sandwich. Turkey and provolone, hold the mayonnaise. Got it, Stupid?"
- Eddy: "Ed's Ping Pong table! For a measly quarter for each player, you and a buddy can play Ping Pong! Whether it be two on two or one on one, you will enjoy this exciting game!"
- Sarah: [fearful] "I'M TELLING MOM BECAUSE YOU YELLED AT ME!"
- Ed: "Hiya, Other Ed!"
Other Ed: [silent]
Ed: "OH NO! YOU HAVE COME TO STEAL MY SPONGES IN THE WALL!!!!"
Other Ed: "No. But I think that you're also being abused by your parents."
- [tremor occurs]
Jimmy: "Jeepers, Sarah. What was that all about?"
Sarah: "I don't know. But it wasn't much."
[another tremor occurs]
Jimmy: "Aha! Hath that wicked dragon not given up yet?"
- Jimmy: “Order in the court! Court is in session. Would the offensive please explain what happened?”
[The offense, Ed, stood and pointed at Sarah.]
Ed: "This bad girl has treated me like trash, and has abused me for a long time.”
Jimmy: “Does the defense have anything to say against it?” [Sarah trys to speak out, but no words come out] "Nothing? Very well. Has the jury reached a verdict?”
[The audience rose. ]
Eddy: “We have, your honor. We find that the defensiveloudmouhth, Sarah is guilty.”
[Sarah gulped. But she smiled.]
Edd: “Sarah needs to pay for her horrendous acts of crime."
Jonny: “Plank and I agree.”
Nazz: “Dude, you seriously are a bad girl.”
Kevin: "Dorkette! See you in prison!”
Rolf: “Send this she-demon to the depths of the Earth where she belongs by Great Nano's word.”
Jimmy: “Very well. Sarah, I hereby sentence you to eternal punishment.”
Sarah: “JIMMY! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! WE'RE BEST FRIENDS!”
Jimmy: [distorted voice] “Not anymore. I can't be friends with heartless, cold-blodded jerks.”
- Sarah: “Be careful, Jimmy. My Mom had just-”
[Sarah tried to warn Jimmy, but it was too late.]
Jimmy: “OWIE, SARAH!”
[Sarah shook her head, and sighed.]
Sarah: “..washed the floor.”
- Kevin: Hey Ed. (Ed turns over to Kevin) I'm sorry. (Ed's confused) For everything. For beating you up, for being a jerk... (Ed raises his only eyebrow) ...for calling you a dork. (Ed smiles) If there's a dork in this town, it's Double Dweeb, Eddy, and me.
- Sarah: OH ED! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY FOR ABUSING YOU! I'M SORRY FOR THREATENING TO TELL MOM! I'M SORRY, OKAY! I'M SORRY!! I REALIZE NOW THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN A GOOD SISTER! WE COULD HAVE BEEN BUDDIES! LIKE ME AND JIMMY! BUT I HAD TO BE MEAN TO YOU!
- Ed: Sarah... being nice...
Other Ed: Don't accept the apology gift, Ed. She'll never be nice.
Other Ed: Never. She is a demon, waiting to eat your heart.
Other Ed: ...well? Reject the gift and die already! It's already too late.
Other Ed: ...Ed?
Other Ed: Wait what?
Ed: Sarah is my lovable, sweet little sister. Nothing, not even your words, can change that.
Other Ed: Ed, Sarah's pure evil trapped inside a little girl's body! Just reject-
Ed: The only thing I'm going to reject is you, you jerk!
- Ed: (whispering) Tell the others.... that there was still good.... inside you..... (takes a deep breath, then dies)
Sarah: (checking Ed's pulse) He's.... dead......... and he forgives me.... (smiles)
- Sarah: Why did he have to die... It's just not fair....
Eddy: Hey Sarah.
Sarah (to herself): I promise you, Ed. I will let you rest in peace and harmony... even from your friends...
Eddy: Sarah, can you please let me bury this Jawbreaker?
Sarah: No, Eddy.
Sarah: I said no! Let Ed rest in peace!
Eddy: I just want to give Ed a jawbreaker!
Sarah: I SAID LET ED REST IN PEACE, YOU FLATHEAD!
Eddy: Move out of the way, fishface!
(Sarah beats up Eddy)
Eddy: NO, SARAH, NO!
Sarah: THEN LEAVE ED ALONE, YOU HEARTLESS, COLD-BLOODED JERK!
- We learn why Ed lives in the basement: Ed used to reside in Sarah's room.
- Ed finally stands up to Sarah, and yells at her (this is the first time he has done it without the use of a pebble in his shoe)
- Sheldon Jr. and Baron O' Beef Dip make an appearance in Sarah's nightmare.
- If you notice closely there are several references to some episodes:
- Ed: "SPOON PLEASE!" (A Twist of Ed)
- Edd: “Nightmares can have lasting after-effects! Why, there have been studies that there are correlated assimilations between the dream itself and the real world, if you will.” (Rock-a-Bye Ed)
- Ed: “Well, I don't! Try Double D!” (Ed, Edd n Eddy's Hanky Panky Hullabaloo)
- Ed: "What goes around MUST come around, three-eyes!" (Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show)
- Sarah's Mom: “Heaven knows how Ed won the spelling bee." (Too Smart for His Own Ed)
- Ed: “Belly is bad. Just like Eddy.” (Cleanliness Is Next to Edness)
- "Up the stairs, and out the door. Snoring all the way. He was sleepwalking again." (A Glass of Warm Ed and Run for your Ed)
- "(...) unlike last time, where he had brought money he got off of the pen-pal services from his pal in Korea." (No Speak Da Ed)
- Edd: “Summer rains, you can never predict them." (Read All About Ed and Home-Cooked Eds)
- Ed: "Gravy!" (a common line by Ed, first used in Pop Goes the Ed)
- Rated PG for some violence, blood, and some mild language.
- "Heartless, cold-blooded jerk" is a commonly used term to describe someone mean, commonly used in this fanfiction.
- The title reference for this fanfiction is "Child Abuse", "Ed" replacing "Child".
- This fanfiction won a The3Eds 2009 Member Award for "Best Fan Project".
- The third sequel is a deadfic, as it has not been updated, and T-Ed711 has stated that he will not update it ever again.
- A remake is in development - it's still in the concept stage. More info can be found here.