This is the third fanfiction in the Ed Abuse series, and the last in it as well. It focuses on Edd, and his slight mistreatment by everyone; the others, his parents (who don't see him much), and even his friends. It also reintroduces an old character.
Edd: (Newspaper quote) "Eddy did try to drown himself. With that intensity, we don’t know how he lived. We’ve come to two options. A. He was granted extra life by god, as Ed told me, or B. The Mutagen in the Jawbreakers."
Edd: “…Eddy?” Eddy: “What?” Edd: “You haven’t been a victim, have you?” Eddy: “I haven’t. You’d know.” Edd: “Are you sure?” Eddy: “Yep.” Edd: “Prove it.” Eddy: “Double D, there’s a spot on your shirt!” Edd: “Oh no! I just had it washed! Filthy, filthy, filthy!” Eddy: “Gotcha.”
Ed: “I say we storm the house! We need to find out what is wrong with our smart-speaking friend!” Eddy: “Good idea, Lumpy! Tell me, have the stars aligned! If they have, I’m going to win the lottery! Say something else smart!” Ed[in the least smart way as possible]: “I eat cheese after taking a bath.” [Eddy’s face fell.] Eddy: “What is this? I don’t even-” [He slapped his forehead.] “Fine! No lottery winning now.”
Ed: “Look, Eddy! A Stick-up note!” Eddy: “Stick-y note, Ed.”
Edd: “GET OUT OF MY ROOM, YOU TWO! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!” Eddy: “But Double D!” Edd: “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE GOT TO SAY, AND FRANKLY, I DON’T CARE! I WANT YOU TWO OUT OF MY ROOM AND OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!” Eddy: “Double D! You don’t understand! I had a dream that there was this guy that wants to separate out friendship! He’s targeting you! He’s setting this up!” Edd: “SHUT YOUR MOUTH, EDDY! I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU!” Ed: “Aren’t we friends, Double D?” Edd: “WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS!” [Ed immediately started crying. Eddy became furious with his lost friend.] Eddy: “FINE! BUT DON’T BLAME ME FOR WHAT HE DOES TO YOU!” Edd: “GET OUT! DEPART TO HELL!” [That was what Ed and Eddy did.] Ed: “We are friends no more, Eddy! Say it isn’t so, Eddy! Why, oh why, oh why, oh why??”