This article contains major plot spoilers! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!
"Uh…jeez Louise…this is just like something outta one of Ed’s sci-fi movies…" - Eddy
Metroid Prime: The Ed Hunters is a crossover fanfiction written by Eds Maniac, and is the first installment in the Metroid Ed series. As indicated by the title, the story combines the characters of Danny Antonucci's Ed, Edd n Eddy with the setting, plot, and themes of Retro Studios' Metroid Prime. The story was originally conceived and written in June 2005 for Edtropolis.com, but has been undergoing extensive revision since November 2007. The premise of the story finds Ed, Edd and Eddy marooned and separated on the alien planet Tallon IV, and follows their attempts to survive the planet's hazards long enough (using their unique personality quirks) to reunite and return home.
The in-progress story can be found here.
Ed - a warmhearted yet slow-witted young man whose imagination is as boundless as the heavens, Ed is always ready for adventure. Besides his eternal faithfulness to his friends, Ed is known for his trademark laughter, his love of all things buttered and/or toasted, and his admiration of science fiction and Space Outlaw lore. His recklessness and endless curiosity lands him and his friends on the threshold of a whole new world...and a whole lot of trouble.
Edd - known for his knack for invention, cleanliness, and all things academic, Edd was, is, and always will be the brains behind the Eds. A kind young man whose mind is open to learning new and exciting things, he spends most of his time crafting the materials needed for Eddy's scams and, in his off-time, labeling his room. He is a self-declared pacifist who wouldn't even dream of hurting a fly, but he finds his morals challenged when the push of a button finds him in a bizarre situation.
Eddy - the self-declared (and undisputed) leader of the Eds, Eddy is a conniving trickster through-and-through. Though he is much shorter than his companions, Eddy is a man of high ambitions and a knack for fleecing the neighborhood kids out of their hard-earned allowances. He quickly finds his self-taught ability to lie, cheat, and scam put to the test when he finds himself walking on an unfamiliar world.
Ridley - identified early on as the "Space Pirate leader", Ridley is a nefarious creature resembling a cross between a pterodactyl and a classical dragon. Not much is known about the big boss of the Pirates, but he is definitely the last creature the Eds would want to run into in a dark alley.
The Chozo - an ancient civilization that once colonized Tallon IV before a planetary cataclysm caused them to mysteriously disappear. The recordings of their short time on Tallon IV may be the key to unlocking the mystery the planet holds within its depths.
The Space Pirates - an insidious race of reptillian creatures, these intergalactic plunderers were present on the frigate Orpheon, a Space Pirate vessel in orbit above Tallon IV before something went awry. Currently located in various sectors of the planet, one can only guess what their goals are.
Other characters such as Kevin, Rolf, Nazz, Jonny, and Jimmy are considered minor in this installment.
Spoiler alert: the following details contain information that may spoil certain plot points, and is intended to act as a summary for those who have already read the story. Caution is advised!
The Orpheon Incident
The story opens up with Ed, Edd and Eddy working out the final kinks in their latest scam, a faux fast-food pit-stop named Ed-to-Go, only about an hour after sunrise. Eddy calls the kids to the stand, and naturally the neighborhood kids are all to eager to see what all the fuss is about. The scam sets off without a hitch, and Eddy, despite Edd's warnings, orders Ed to go into his house in order to retrieve the food for the kids. Naturally, this breeds disaster: Ed rips out the support beam of Eddy's house, thinking it to be a shish-ka-bob stick, and the kids flee as Eddy's house crashes down into a heap of rubble.
Eddy is furious and proceeds to pummel Ed, and Edd, for the sake of Ed's physical well-being and Eddy's sanity, is forced to unveil his latest project: the Time Transport 3000. A marvelous prototype, the device is able to send the user as far back in time as he or she wants. The Eds prepare to travel ten minutes into the past in order to save Eddy's house and retry the scam, but Ed's excitement drives him to activate random levers and buttons. Edd is unable to reverse Ed's commands, and learns that he had just ordered the time machine to travel a physical distance instead of across time. The time machine instantly warps the three Eds several thousand light-years into space before they can escape.
In a flash, the Eds find themselves within the cockpit of an abandoned gunship docked at the hangar of a large vessel, which is in orbit above the massive planet Tallon IV. Edd and Eddy bicker and fight over the hopeless situation they've found themselves in, but when Ed stumbles across a trove of useful equipment, the three of them agree to investigate the vessel, dubbed the Orpheon, in order to find a way to transport themselves back to Peach Creek.
Inside the wrecked Orpheon, the Eds are unable to find what they are looking for. Instead, they find a myraid of mutilated corpses, identified as "Space Pirates", and massive mutated creatures inside containment tanks. At Ed's behest, they continue to search the ship, eventually encountering one of the mutated creatures aboard the ship, called a Parasite Queen. The Queen is subdued, which causes the ship's reactor to go critical, prompting the Eds to escape. The three boys return to the gunship and fly away just in time to avoid the explosion that engulfs the Orpheon -- the Space Pirate leader, named 'Ridley', also escapes and heads toward Tallon IV. With the gunship in critical condition, Edd, in a selfless gesture, urges Ed and Eddy to take escape pods down to the planet so that they may survive if the gunship explodes. After making a promise to land safely, survive, and return home as soon as possible, Ed and Eddy eject from the ship while Edd alone hurtles toward the planet.
Lost in a New World
Through an uneven combination of dumb luck and piloting skill, Edd is able to safely maneuver his way through the planet's atmosphere and land in the midst of a peaceful grove near the planet's equator. Both terrified and curious at the prospect of stepping out onto the surface of an alien planet, Edd eventually works his way out of the gunship and reassesses his situation. However, to his dismay, there is no trace of either Ed or Eddy in the vicinity - hence, he sets out to search for them, albeit with much caution. His escapade through the Tallon forest quickly goes awry, though, when he is confronted and pursued by the local wildlife, eventually seeking refuge within an abandoned elevator shaft. To make matters even worse, the elevator itself drops deep into the planet when a cataclysmic earthquake strikes, ravaging the surface of the planet. Coincidentaly, Ed, who has landed far south of the equator many miles from Edd's position, experiences the same shockwave, and is knocked unconscious in the surge.
Later on, Edd awakens on the threshold of an ancient ruins site, presumably far away from the forest in which he first landed. With the help of his technological scanning equipment and his knack for archeology, he discovers that the ruins are in fact the remnants of an ancient civilization, the 'Chozo'. Intrigued by this new discovery, Edd persuses the Chozo ruins in search for records left by this mysterious race, encountering violent wildlife and defense mechanisms that challenge his moral fiber and stamina along the way. Eventually, Edd discovers that the Chozo, a technologically-advanced alien race, had sought Tallon IV as an ecological paradise where they could forsake trivial matters and be at one with nature - however, a mysterious cataclysmic event drove them out of their home, leaving naught but ruins and a poisoned environment remaining. At the apex of the ruins, Edd encounters the Flaahgra, a monstrous insect documented in the Chozo's records, which has poisoned the ruins' water source. Through perserverance, Edd overcomes the beast and acquires a Chozo-grade battlesuit, dubbed the Varia Suit, and heads deeper into the planet in search for his friends.
Elsewhere, the Space Pirates have begun operations on the planet's surface, with a frightful Eddy bearing witness from a safe vantage point, having landed not far off from their location. Hoping his friends will come and rescue him, he watches the Pirates transfer heavy cargo into a massive, under-construction military complex, many of which containing rather grotesque creatures he cannot identify. After growing impatient with waiting, the boy infiltrates the complex as soon as Pirate activity dies down, only to find himself locked within its walls with no way to escape. At the same time, Ed devises a means of escaping the frozen cave in which he first made planetfall, and soon ventures into a vast network of frosty caverns beneath the planet's surface. Unable to determine his own location, he courageously ventures forth in search of his companions.
Edd soon finds himself deep within the caverns of Magmoor, an environment only survivable thanks to his newfound Varia Suit. Slowly becoming more attuned to the live-and-let-live nature of Tallon IV's wildlife, Edd traverses the magma-laden passages, confronting grand beasts and hazardous trenches in the process. Eventually, he finds himself at an abandoned workstation at the center of the cavern network, laden with computer terminals similar to those found on the Orpheon - this leads him to believe that the Pirates may be on the planet after all. Eddy has a similar revelation within the mines when he sees a rather grotesque figure sealed within a containment tank. Both Eds succumb to the waves of slumber after their respective findings - Edd passes out from fatigue in a nearby elevator shaft, while Eddy is knocked unconscious after a clusmy misstep sends him falling down a transit chute.