Ed’s Cookies
(The Kankers are sweeping their house.) Lee: May, help me with this sweeping. May: Oh, shut up Lee. Lee: Ed really cleaned us out. Marie: Yeah were going to have to spend the whole day cleaning up this mess. (At Ed’s house.) Ed: What’s for breakfast? I wonder if I have anything in my… (Ed looks in his closet and sees a lot of food.) Ed: Food! (At Eddy’s house.) (Eddy yawns.) Eddy: Who am I gonna scam today? Oh it’s Saturday. Today I scam everyone. (At double D’s house.) (Eddy knocks on Double D’s window.) Eddy: Double D? You home? Edd: Hi Eddy. Eddy: Hey Double D. Let me in. When Ed comes we can decide what scam we are going to do today. (Scene change.) (Ed knocks on Double D’s door.) Ed: Double D? You home? (Eddy answers the door.) Eddy: Hey Ed. Ed: Hi Eddy. (Ed comes in.) Edd: Hello Ed. Ed: Hi Double D. (Ed starts hugging Double D.) Eddy: Okay enough hugging. Ed: Aww. Eddy: Ed. Hey Ed. Ed You Idiot Get off of Double D. Ed: hmmm? Oh yeah. Eddy: We got scamming to think about. Edd: Well let me look over our notebook of scams. Hmmmm. Um Eddy we ran out of scams a week ago. Eddy: Darn it. Well think. Think of one. Ed: Yeah Double D, think. Edd: Very well. Um. (Timer Rings.) Edd: It’s time to take out the cookies. Eddy: Cookies. Cookies. That’s it. We’ll sell cookies. Edd: But Eddy we already sold cookies, when we had that election for King of the Cal De Sac. Eddy: And I would have one too. But now everyone hates Jonny and Plank. Edd: And don’t forget that Nazz kind of likes us now. Ed: Let’s sell some cookies! (Scene change) (Jonny goes into his Captain Melon Head Lair.) Jonny: Plank we can’t go on like this forever. I bet they’re planning something. Listen do you hear it. (Kevin talking to Sara and Jimmy.) Sara: ooooo that’s a good idea Kevin. Let’s do it. (Scene change.) Eddy: Alright Double D. You ready? Edd: Yes Eddy. Ready Ed? Ed: With bells on my toes. Eddy: We are selling cookies. Who wants some? Jimmy: Oh yum, cookies. Rolf: Rolf likes as you say, cookies. Eddy: Twenty five cents Rolf. Thanks. (Lee takes Eddy’s money jar.) Eddy: HEY. Lee: Hey May hold this. Eddy: MY MONEY. Edd: Kankers! Ed: AHHHHHHHHH. Marie: See you later boys. May: I’ll save you a smooch big Ed. Eddy: Okay guys tonight we are breaking into the Kanker’s trailer and getting our money back. (Scene Change.) Eddy Alright guys, you ready? Edd and Ed: Yes Eddy. Eddy: Okay let’s do this. Edd: Okay guys be very quiet because… Eddy: Hey look my money. Okay let’s get out of here boys. Edd: I second that. Ed: Butter toast. (Scene Change.) Eddy: Okay boys let’s buy some jawbreakers. Edd and Ed: Yeah. (Scene change.) Eddy: Good jawbreakers right boys? Edd and Ed: Yeah. Lee: Hey Ed’s. Where’s our ship in a bottle this time. Edd: Ed where do you put your food, when you take it from the houses at night. Ed: Double D I don’t take food from houses at night. Eddy: We’ve seen you. You’re hilarious. Lee: You’ve got one hour to get us that ship in a bottle. Got it? Edd: Yes. (Scene Change.) (Jonny jumps out of the tree stump.) Jonny: Have no fear cause… ahhhh. Sara: Don’t worry we’re not out to get you anymore. Jonny: You aren’t. Well that’s good. Thanks. (Scene change.) Edd: Ed you’ve got to think. Where do you put your food that you take? Ed: I just don’t know. Edd: Think Ed. The hours almost up. Eddy: I’m going to that bush that we used to hide in like when we were playing hide and seek. Get some food and meet me there in five minutes. (Scene Change.) Okay boys let’s eat. Ed: I brought sandwiches. Edd: Wait, were did you get them Ed. Ed: In my closet. Edd: Eddy that’s it. The Kanker’s ship in a bottle is in Ed’s closet. Let’s go back to Ed’s room and see if we can find it. (Scene Change.) Eddy: Double D we looked and it isn’t in there. Let’s get the sandwiches and go back to the bush. (Scene change.) (Everyone is tied up in Sara’s room.) Lee: Okay people where’s the Ed’s. Jonny: They have this bush that they hide in. Kevin: You’re dead Jonny. Lee: Alright girls, let’s find that bush. (Scene change.) Lee: Try this one May. Marie: Hey guys I found it. Lee: Hi Boys. Ed Edd and Eddy: ahhhhhhhhhhh. Eddy: Double D, have any options. Edd: Only one Eddy. Stuff as many sandwiches in your mouth as you can and make them last. Because they’ll be your last. Eddy: Start stuffing guys. Eddy: Ow. This sandwich is hard. Ed what’s in here? A bottle? Lee: We’ll be taking that. Thank you very much. Edd: Looks like we got off the hook again. Eddy: yeah. It was a pretty good day. (Scene change.) Kevin: Get back here Jonny. Jonny: Sara said I was off the hook. Kevin: I told her to lie. You beat the Eds and now you have to pay the price. Jonny: ahhhhhhhhhh.
It’s So Ed
Eddy: Double D, Ed, have any ideas for scams. Edd: Eddy we can’t scam anyone. We have school in a half an hour. Eddy: So what? Edd: I’m not going to ditch. Ed: Yeah Eddy. Enough detentions for Ed. It stops here bucko. Eddy: Ed, stop being an idiot. Ed: I’m not an idiot. I just don’t want a detention. Edd: Well for one, I’m proud of Ed. Eddy: That’s stupid. We’ve all had detentions before. We all lived through them especially Ed. So, scam. Think. Edd: I’ll give you an idea for a scam after school Eddy. Eddy: Fine. I don’t even need you. (Scene change.) (Eddy is begging Double D at his feet.) Eddy: Please Double D give me a scam. Edd: When we get home from school. Eddy: Fine. (BOOM! From inside the classroom.) Edd: Suspended? Eddy: Well, you said when we got home. (Scene Change.) Edd: Think Eddy. No one is home. They’re all still in school. Eddy: Our suspension is only for today. Besides, tomorrow is Saturday. We can scam all day. (Scene Change.) Eddy: Step right up and get your fur. (Jimmy walks up to the Ed’s and starts looking at them.) Jimmy: Hmmmmm. Hmmmmmm. Hmmmmm. Sara, mark them they’re good enough. Eddy: Good enough for what? Sara: We’re choosing a new fashion for the school fashion department. We’re choosing from Kevin, Ed, Double D, You, and definitely Nazz. Eddy: I vote for Nazz. Edd: I second that. Ed: Nazz is hot. Sara: You don’t get to vote idiots. We show it to the school and they… Eddy: Wait! What happened to Rolf and Jonny. Sara: Rolf wasn’t good enough and we hate Jonny. As I was saying the school decides who the best is. (Scene change.) Eddy: Guys Nazz is awesome. We can’t let her lose. We have to convince everyone to drop out, so Nazz wins. Ed: But what if I want to win. Eddy: If you want to win you talk to my fist. Ed: I want to lose. Edd: Good. (Scene change.) Sara: Jimmy, I called you here for a very important reason. As you know every boy likes Nazz. Nazz is also the only girl. May, Marie and Lee didn’t sign up. I want you to tell Ed, Edd n Eddy that they get a dollar if they win. I want you to tell Kevin that if he wins he wins a pass that lets him get in free with a girl into the next school dance. Jimmy: Okay. (Scene change.) Eddy: Kevin you’ve got to drop out of being a model for the school fashion club. Kevin: Why? Edd: Because if you don’t Nazz might not win. Kevin: You’ve got a really good point. I’ll throw the contest. Ed: Awesome. (Scene change.) Jimmy: Psst, Kevin. Kevin: What? Jimmy: If you win the contest you get a ticket that lets you get into the next school dance with a girl of your choice free. Kevin: Awesome. I’m so there. (Scene change.) Jimmy: Psst, guys. The winner of the contest for the school fashion club wins five dollars. Eddy: FIVE DOLLARS I’M SO THERE. You guys better be too. Edd and Ed: Yes Eddy. (Scene change.) Sara: The first one out is… Kevin. Kevin: Who needs this? Sara: Double D, you’re out of here. Edd: Oh… darn it. Ed: Eddy Double D almost said bad word. Sara: The winner of the girls fashion is… Nazz. Nazz: Awesome! Sara: Ed, Eddy it’s down to you guys. The winner of the boys fashion is……………Ed. Eddy: No way. Sara: Yes way. Ed: Yahoo. Eddy: Ed do you have any chunky puffs? Ed: Yeah Eddy. Eddy: Good. I need them to unwind. Coming Double D? Edd: Yeah. Eddy: Let’s go. Lee’s voice: Hold it. (The Kankers walk in the door.) No one’s going anywhere. Eddy: KANKERS! Everyone: AHHHHH. Lee: Enough screaming. Marie: We need a spot to cook our eggs. May: Hey look guys. It’s the Eds. Lee: Everyone else you’re free to go. Now for you guys. Jonny’s voice: AHHHHHH. (Jonny comes in the door and jumps on the Kankers.) May, Lee, and Marie: AHHHH. Jonny: Run you guys. (Scene Change.) Jonny: So you guys I want you to tell everyone that I saved you from the Kankers. Edd: We don’t need to tell them. Jonny: Why? Eddy: They saw it themselves. You’re off the hook now. Jonny: Thanks guys. I’ll see ya.
Everybody Do your Ed
(Eddy yawns.) Ed: Eddy Eddy EDDY!! Eddy: AH (Eddy falls out of bed.) Eddy: Sometimes I swear that you are the most moronic idiot I’ve ever known. Ed: I just wanted to show you my new dog. (Eddy sees Ed’s dog.) Eddy: A dog? This is great: The kids will pay big bucks for playing with the dog. C’mon let’s get Double D. (Scene change.) (At Double D’s house.) Eddy: Double D, you have to see this. Edd: What is it? Eddy: Ed got a dog. The kids are going to pay big bucks to play with the dog. Edd: A dog? I can’t allow a dog in my room. I’m allergic. Eddy: Who cares? Edd: I will sneeze nonstop if that dog… Ah, Ah, ACHOO. Comes in here. Eddy: Of all the great scams you have to ruin this one by being allergic. You want to know something? I don’t care. Edd: Get out of my house right now. (Ed and Eddy walks out of Double D’s house.) Edd: Thank you. I am going to call my doctor and ask him what to do. Eddy: Ed, now what do we do? Ed: Scam Eddy. Eddy: That’s right. C’mon Ed. Jonny loves animals and everyone loves Jonny. Ed: Tell me again why everyone likes Jonny. Eddy: He saved us from the Kankers. Ed: Oh yeah. (Scene change.) (In the Cul-De-Sac.) Eddy: It’s a once in a life time opportunity guys. You can now play with Ed’s dog for twenty five seconds. Jonny: How much does it cost Eddy? Eddy: Twenty five cents for twenty five seconds. Jonny: It’s a deal. (Jonny hands Eddy a quarter.) Eddy: You have twenty five seconds, Jonny. (Jonny plays with the dog for twenty five seconds.) Eddy: Okay, Jonny. Your time is up. Kevin: He just played with the dog. It’s no big deal. Jimmy: No big deal? Nazz: He saved those good Ed’s from the Kankers. Kevin: Still, it’s no big deal. (Double D walks up.) Edd: Ed, Eddy, I have news. You can bring the dog into my room. Ed: Yeah. Edd: But you can’t do it until my room is cleaned. Eddy: Why do you need your room cleaned? Edd: To break in the dog. Ed: I have to wait longer to have my dog in your room. (Ed runs away with his dog crying.) Edd: Ed, why are you so sad? Eddy: He has to wait longer to bring the stupid dog into your room. Edd: Ed’s dog is not stupid, Eddy. Eddy: Whatever. (Scene change.) (Ed is sitting down in the park.) Ed: I wonder when Double D’s room is going to be cleaned. Then, I will be able to bring my dog in there. Edd: Ed, you have nothing to worry about. My room will be cleaned at sunset today. Ed: Today? That’s great Double D. I can bring my dog in there and come over tonight. Edd: Do you want to come over and bring your dog? Ed: How about tomorrow? Edd: Okay, come over at about eight o’clock tomorrow. (Scene change.) (The next day in the morning.) (Ed doesn’t have his dog with him.)Ed: I should check on Double D. (Ed goes into Double D’s room.) Ed: Double D, are you in here? (Ed’s dog is in the room.) (Everything in the room sparkles.) Ed: This must have been what Double D meant by having his room cleaned. Ed: Hey, Rex. (Ed jumps on Double D’s bed and messes it up.) (Rex jumps on to Double D’s desk, messing it up. Ed: I’m so happy Double D got his room cleaned. (Double D walks in.) Edd: Ed, what have you done? You messed up the room a little. Ed: C’mon Rex. (Ed and Rex walk out.) (Scene change.) (Double D walks up to Ed.) Edd: Ed, my room is cleaned again, so you can have your dog in there. Ed: Double D, my parents are taking care of my dog now. Edd: Oh, okay. (Ed walks away.) Eddy: What’s with him? Edd: He’s got a new dog. That is new work.
Chip off the old Ed.
(Jonny is walking along.) (Kevin rides by on his bike.) Jonny: Hey Kevin. Kevin: Sup. What do you want? Jonny: I want you to hear Plank’s joke and tell him if it’s good. Kevin: Okay. (Pause) (Jonny starts laughing.) Jonny: That was a good one. Kevin: Jonny, he can’t tell jokes. He’s just a piece of wood. Jonny: No he’s real. Kevin: I don’t want to upset the guy who jumped on and saved the Eds from Kanker doom. So, I’m gonna shut up and leave. (Kevin rides away.) (Jonny shouts after him: Plank is real.) (Jonny sits down.) (The Eds walk by.) Eddy: Jonny, do you have a piece of wood we can use to make our scam? (Jonny hides Plank behind his back.) Eddy: That piece of wood behind your back will do. Jonny: Not Plank. He’s my best friend. Eddy: He’s just a piece of stupid wood. Jonny: Don’t talk to Plank that way. Ed: Yeah, Eddy. Eddy: (Very loud.) HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A STIINKING VOICE! Edd: Eddy, please. Don’t shout so loud. Eddy: Shut up, sock head. Now where was I? Oh yeah. (Very loud.) HE DOESN’T HAVE A VOICE. Jonny: Fine. I’ll show you. I’ll get every other kid in the Cul De Sac to tell you he has a real voice. Eddy: Fine. (Scene change.) (Jonny knocks on Sara’s door.) (Sara answers it.) Sara: Hey Jonny. Do you want to come in and play with me and Jimmy? Jonny: I just need you to tell me if Plank has a real voice or not. Sara: Well I’m sorry to say it, but plank doesn’t have a real voice. Jonny: Thanks anyway. (Jonny knocks on Rolf’s door.) (Rolf answers it.) Rolf: Hello Jonny wood boy. What brings you to Rolf’s house? Jonny: Rolf, does Plank have a real voice. Rolf: Ranger Plank in the urban rangers, the piece of wood? Jonny: That’s the one. Rolf: Well he’s a good ranger, but just a piece of wood. Jonny: Okay. Thanks Rolf. (Scene change.) (It is dark outside.) (Jonny is in his room looking out the window.) Jonny: What if the Eds were right. What if I’m an idiot who believes in a piece of wood? Rolf, Kevin, all of them. They were right. (Shooting star goes by in the sky.) Jonny: A shooting star. I wish Plank had a real voice. (Scene change.) (Jonny yawns and get out of bed.) Plank: Yo, Jonny. Sup. Jonny: Plank you have a real voice. Plank: Yep. (Jonny goes outside.) Jonny: (Rap music plays.) Introducing, the king of all cool, Plank. (Rap music stops.) Plank: Sup people. Rolf: The wood. It’s talking. Plank: Yep. Eddy: I can’t believe it. Plank’s talking. Kevin: Party at my house. (Scene change.) Eddy: Buy your own piece of wood with a face. (Jonny walks up to them.) Eddy: Jonny, want to buy another friend. Jonny: I need you to teach me how to be cool. Ed: Why? Jonny: Because Plank is too cool for me. Edd: You’re cool. Eddy: We’ll teach you how to be cool. Now, remember how we taught Ed to be cool, but he was tackled by the Kankers. Well we’ll teach you the same way. First, you need new clothes. (Scene change.) (In Eddy’s room.) Eddy: Double D, measure Jonny. Edd: Okay. Arm. Check. Eddy: What’s taking you so long? Drink this. Edd: What is it? Ed: It’s the liquid I got out of the sewer. It has lots of sugar. (Double D drinks it.) Edd: (Very fast.) Arm. Check. Leg. Check. Okay this will fit. (Scene change.) Eddy: Okay Jonny, now you’ve to learn how to slang. Study these lines. Ed: Get a tan little man. Jonny: I think I’ve got it. Edd: Are you sure? Jonny: Yeah. (Scene change.) (The Eds and Jonny go into the party.) Plank: Well, well if it ain’t Jonny. This party isn’t big enough for the both of us. Jonny: So leave. Jonny: Take a train cause your insane. Plank: Well choose. Me or him. Everyone: Plank. (Scene change.) (It is dark outside.) (Jonny is in his room looking out the window.) (Shooting star goes by in the sky.) Jonny: Another shooting star. I wish Plank didn’t have a voice. Please shooting star. Make my wish. (Scene change.) (Jonny wakes up.) (Jonny looks at Plank.) Jonny: Well Plank do you have anything to say. (Pause) Of course you don’t. I think you can’t be my friend anymore. Sorry. (Jonny throws Plank out the window.) (Eddy picks Plank up.) I knew we would get a piece of wood. Ed: Yeah Edd: This is wrong. He’s Jonny’s friend. Eddy: Shut up sock head. If Jonny wants him back he’ll come to us.
Early Ed-ition
Eddy: Think sock head. Think of a good scam. Edd: Fortune telling. Eddy: We already did that. Edd: Yeah, but it was an untrue fortune. Eddy: How am I gonna predict the future stupid? Edd: Do it the next day. Eddy: Fine. Ed: So we shall. (Scene change.) (Inside the tent.) (Kevin and Rolf are standing there.) Eddy: Your fortune is tomorrow you will have good luck all day. Both of you. Kevin: How do we know you aren’t lying? Rolf: Yeah Ed boy. Eddy: Because you will have good luck tomorrow. Kevin: Okay fine but if you’re lying. Rolf: We will inflict pain on you. (Eddy gulps.) (Scene change.) Eddy: Okay Ed you and Double D have to make sure Rolf has good luck. Ed: Roger that. Edd: We won’t let you down Eddy. Eddy: Okay I’m going to make sure Kevin has good luck. Wait Double D, why don’t you make sure Rolf has good luck and Ed, find a four leaf clover. Ed: Sure Eddy. (Scene change.) (Edd is watching Rolf.) Edd: Okay So far so good. (Rolf is planting flowers.) Rolf: Okay Ed boys. I’m going to not give my flowers water. If they’re still alive that would be lucky. (Rolf walks back into his house.) (Double D gets a watering can.) (Double D waters the flowers.) Edd: Rolf will be pleased. (Scene change.) Eddy: What the heck am I gonna do? How do I make sure he has good luck? (Kevin walks out of his house and puts his bike on the road.) Eddy: He’s trying to have bad luck. (A truck comes.) Eddy: Aw man. (Eddy puts a big stop sign on the top of his house.) (The truck stops.) Kevin: Crud. Alright Eds, you win this round. (Scene change.) Ed: Four leaf clover. Hello. Hello. Three. Three. Four. I found one. But who should I give it to. Eddy is a guy who is fun, but Double D supports me a lot. Who should I pick? Edd: Pick me Ed. I’ll put it near Rolf’s plants. Ed: Where’s Eddy. Eddy: I’m right here stupid. Do you have a four leaf clover? Ed: Uh Yeah. Eddy: Well give it to me. Ed: What if I want to give it to Double D? Eddy: Just give it to me I’ll put it near Kevins bike. Ed: Here Double D, put it near Rolf’s plants. Eddy: Fine you idiot. I’ll just go back to that moron, Kevin’s house. (Scene change.) Eddy: Stupid Ed. Kevin: Okay Eds. If I hold onto this metal rod, will I get electrocuted by lightning. Eddy: Lightning. There’s no thunder storm. (Dark clouds roll in.) Eddy: Oh crud. Eddy: Nails a picture of Nazz to Kevin’s door. Eddy: Hey Kevin. There’s a picture of Nazz on your door. (Kevin walks over to it.) (Thunderstorm clears.) Eddy: Yes. (Scene change.) (Double D puts the four leaf clover on Rolf front step.) (Double D knocks on Rolf’s door.) (Rolf answers it.) Rolf: Hello. Oh a four leaf clover. It is my lucky day. (Scene change.) Kevin: Okay Eds I’m going to put one dollar out on my front step. I hope No one steals it. I’ll be back in two hours. Eddy: Okay now he’s really trying. He’s trying to have rotten luck. That little idiot. I need some help. (Scene change.) (Eddy walks up to Double D.) Eddy: Double D I need help guarding this dollar. Edd: What do you mean? Eddy: Kevin put a dollar on his front step and he thinks no one will steal it. Ed: No way. Let’s take it. Edd: No Ed. If we take the dollar or if anyone else takes the dollar Kevin will beat us up. Ed: Oh. (Scene change.) Eddy: The dollar’s gone. Edd and Ed: Gone? Eddy: Yeah gone. Edd: Well who took it? Eddy: I don’t know. Eddy: Okay Ed, Check out Nazz’s house. Double D, you check out Jonny’s house. He could’ve taken it because he just lost Plank. I’ll go check Jimmy’s house. Let’s go. (Scene change.) Edd: Okay Jonny what are you doing. Reading a book. (Jonny turns around.) Jonny: Oh hi Double D. Edd: Jonny, do you have any one dollar bills. Jonny: No Double D. Edd: Okay. Thanks anyway. (Scene change.) Eddy: Where are you Jimmy? I don’t get it. I don’t see Jimmy anywhere. Jimmy. Jimmy, are you in there. I guess not. (Scene change.) Ed: Nazz where are you? Nazz: Oh, hey Ed. What’s up? Ed: Did you find any dollars on the ground today? Nazz: Uh No. Why did you lose one? Ed: Nope. Nazz: Okay bye. (Scene change.) Eddy: We have twenty minutes till Kevin checks his front step. Are there any houses we didn’t try? Edd: We didn’t try Sara’s house. Eddy: That’s it. When I looked in Jimmy’s house, Jimmy wasn’t there. He’s at Sara’s house. Let’s go. (Scene change.) (Ed Edd and Eddy go into Sara’s room.) Eddy: Ah Ha. (Jimmy is handing Sara a dollar.) Sara: Get out we’re playing store. Eddy: Shut up. Edd: Jimmy, where did you find that dollar. Jimmy: I found it on Kevin’s front step. Ed: Ah Ha. (Eddy grabs the dollar out of Jimmy’s hand.) Sara: Give that back. (Ed Edd and Eddy run out of the house with Sara chasing them.) (They run into Eddy’s room and lock the door.) Sara: Get out here. Eddy: Never. (Ed Edd and Eddy run out the back door and run to Kevin’s house.) (Double D puts the dollar back on Kevin’s front step.) Okay guys hide. (Kevin walks out his door.) Kevin: Darn it Eds. You win today. Eddy: Let’s go buys some jawbreakers. (Scene change.) (Ed Edd and Eddy are eating jawbreakers.) Ed Edd and Eddy: Mmmmmmm. Eddy: Double D, you have good scam ideas. Edd: Thank you Eddy. Ed: Don’t forget me.
History of Ed
(Ed Edd and Eddy are walking along.) Eddy: So we can scam people into… (They notice Jonny crying.) Ed: What is wrong with Jonny? Edd: Ed, hush. What’s the matter Jonny? Jonny: I have no one to play with. Edd: What happened to Plank? Jonny: Well after I wished on a star for him to have a real voice, he became so much cooler than me. When I saw another shooting star, I wished he didn’t have a voice. Then, when I woke up, he didn’t have a voice and I threw him out the window. Eddy: I knew he was just a piece of wood. Jonny: I read books after that, but it just wasn’t fun. Edd: That’s what I saw him doing when we looking for that dollar. Jonny: Anyway, I board without a friend. Edd: We’ll go get Plank. You just wait here. (Scene change.) (In Jonny’s room.) Edd: Now Jonny, why do you like Plank so much? Jonny: He’s a guy who I can talk to whenever I need to. Eddy: That’s stupid. Ed: Jonny, I can’t here Plank. Is he stupid? Eddy: No duh. Edd: Eddy, Ed, stop. You’re just making Jonny feel worse. Now Jonny, please continue. Jonny: Well Plank is nice to play with. He speaks wood. Ed: Wood? Eddy: Wood? He is wood. Edd: Jonny, what is the language, wood? Jonny: It’s just like English except you can’t hear it. Eddy: I hear an idiot. Edd: No that’s enough out of you. Continue Jonny. Jonny: You have to feel the language, wood. It’s what someone tells you inside. Ed: Cool. Can I speak it? Jonny: Hear try and feel what I am trying to tell you. (Pause) Edd: Your good friends with Plank? Jonny: Wrong. I said Eddy should talk less. Eddy: Shut up. Edd: Eddy, you’re only making Jonny sadder. Eddy: Why do I care? Jonny’s not paying us or anything. Edd: Sometimes you should just help people. Ed: Right. I feel a warm spot in my heart whenever I do something like that. Edd: I feel one now. Jonny, are you trying to send me something over the language wood again. Jonny: No. I know. It’s Plank. He’s sending you a message. Edd: I think he’s saying thank you for telling Jonny that I am a great friend. Jonny, ask Plank if I’m right. Jonny: Plank, is Double D right. (Pause) Jonny: Yes you’re right. Edd: It feels good. Oh, now I have to go to the bathroom. Be right back. Ed: I feel my stomach rumbling. I think Plank is saying its lunch time. Jonny: Plank is saying that. Let’s eat. (Scene change.) Ed: C’mon Eddy. Just try to guess what Plank is saying. Jonny: Plank is saying that you should do something that you really like doing. Eddy: I feel something in my stomach. I think Plank is saying I should do a scam. Jonny: Bingo. Edd: You did it Eddy. Ed: A big hug for Eddy. (Ed hugs Eddy.) Eddy: I think I really feel it. Ed, could you let go of me? I have to go to the bathroom. (Scene change.) Edd: Jonny, are you sure you don’t need us anymore? We could stay and guess more of Plank. Jonny: It’s a nice offer, but I’ve got to get things back to normal. I’ve also got to plan things to do tomorrow with Plank. So bye. Ed: Bye Jonny.(A moving van pulls up.) Edd: Hey look over there. Eddy: Who is in there? Ed: I don’t know.
To Be Continued…
The New Ed on the Block
Edd: Jonny, are you sure you don’t need us anymore? We could stay and guess more of Plank. Jonny: It’s a nice offer, but I’ve got to get things back to normal. I’ve also got to plan things to do tomorrow with Plank. So bye. Ed: Bye Jonny. (A moving van pulls up.) Edd: Hey look over there. Eddy: Who is in there? Ed: I don’t know. Jamie: Hello. Eddy: A new kid. Kevin: There’s a new kid on the block. (Kevin walks over to him.) Kevin: Are you new here? Jamie: Yeah. I just moved. Kevin: What’s your name? Jamie: Jamie. Kevin: My names Kevin. So do you want to be friends? Jamie: Well I don’t have any friends here yet. Sure, why not? What do you like to do Kevin? Kevin: I like sports. I like to party and we usually have a big party for new kids. That’s where you get introduced to everyone. You get to see Rolf, Nazz, Sara, Jimmy, Jonny, Plank and the Eds. But Jamie, I don’t like the Eds. They’re dorks. (From across the way.) Eddy: Look in a mirror. Jamie: Great. This party is gonna rock. (Scene change.)(In Kevin’s house everyone is at the party.) Rolf: Hello Jamie. Jamie: Hi. What’s your name? Rolf: My name is Rolf. Jamie: Oh hi Rolf. I’m gonna go over to Kevin so he can introduce me to everyone. (Jamie walks over to Kevin.) Jamie: Hey Kevin, I don’t know anyone’s names. Can you introduce me to them? Kevin: Sure man. (They walk up to Nazz.) Kevin: This is Nazz. Jamie: Hi Nazz. Nazz: Hi Jamie. (They walk up to Sara and Jimmy.) Kevin: These are Sara and Jimmy. They’re best friends. Jamie: Hi Sara. Sara: Hi Jamie. Jimmy and I like to play a lot. Jimmy: Yeah. Kevin: Moving on. (They walk over to Jonny and Plank.) Kevin: This is Jonny. Jonny: Hey Jamie. Jamie: Hi Jonny. Jonny: This is my friend, Plank. Jamie: Sup, Plank? (They walk over to the Eds.) Kevin: This is our last stop. Jamie, these are the Eds. Their names are Ed Edd and Eddy. Jamie: Hey Eds. Kevin: And that’s our last stop. So tomorrow we’ll tell you everything about us and you can pick your friends. But Ed Edd and Eddy won’t be there. (Scene change.) Jamie: So Rolf , what do you do? Rolf: Rolf gardens and has animals. He eats fish and meat. Jamie: Okay next. Nazz: I am a cheerleader. I love to hange out with Sara and Jimmy. Jamie: Okay, next. Sara: Hi Jamie. I like to play with boys like Jimmy. Jimmy and I pretend a lot. Jamie: Next. Jimmy: I like to do whatever Sara just said. Jamie: Next. Jonny: I’m Jonny and this is my friend, Plank. I like to play with Plank a lot. Jamie: Okay. I think that’s everyone. I’ll think about it and see you guys later. Rolf: Bye, Jamie. (Scene change.) Jamie: Okay guys. I’ve thought about it. None of you really like to do stuff that I like. Kevin: Huh? Jamie: It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just you don’t do stuff I like. Sara: C’mon Jimmy, let’s get out of here. Kevin: What an ungrateful boy. Rolf: Rolf is disappointed. Nazz: So uncool. Jonny: Let’s do something without him, Plank. Jamie: C’mon guys. I’m sorry. (Scene change.) (Jamie sees Kevin playing a soccer game with Rolf.) Jamie: Hey Kevin, can I play? Kevin: This coming from the kid who doesn’t like anything we do. Rolf: Go away. Come again another day. Jamie: I can come another day. Kevin: Rolf is lying about that. Jamie: Oh. I’ll see ya. (Jamie sees Sara and Jimmy walking along.) Sara: So Jimmy, we could play with the dolls. Jimmy: Let’s do that. Jamie: Hey Sara, can I play with you? Sara: You don’t like dolls. Get lost. .) (Jamie walks back to Kevin and Rolf’s soccer game.) Jamie: Rolf, Kevin, I have a confession to make. I like to scam and hang with a few boys all day. Kevin: He’s not saying. Go away. You’re a dork. (Kevin and Rolf run away.) (Jamie walks back to Jimmy and Sara.) .) Jamie: I have a confession to make. I like to scam and hang with a few boys all day. Sara: No way. He’s just like the others. Jimmy: Leave, Or Sara will pound you. (Jamie leaves.) (Jamie sees Nazz and Jonny.) Jamie: Hey, guys where you going. Nazz: We’re exploring the woods. Not that you would care. Jonny: Yeah. So leave. Jamie Okay, but before I do I have a confession. I like to scam and hang with a few boys all day. Jonny: He’s not saying. Nazz: He is. Jonny: Plank says to get out of here now. (Jamie leaves.) Eddy: Sandwiches for sale. Only twenty five cents. (Jamie walks up to them.) Jamie: Are you guys scamming? Eddy: Yeah. Ed: Suckers buy our stuff. Edd: Would you like a sandwich, Jamie. Jamie: No, but I do want to be friends with you guys. Everyone else hates me. I also love scamming. Eddy: But your name isn’t Ed. Jamie: No, but are yours. Ed: My name’s Ed. Edd: My name is Edd, but with two Ds. Eddy: And I’m Eddy. Jamie: C’mon guys. I belong to you. No one else likes me or scams. You’re perfect. Eddy: I think he’s fine, but we need a group vote. Ed: I want him in our group. Edd: I think he’ll be great. Eddy: Okay Jamie, you’re in. Jamie: Yeah. Eddy: You’re gonna fit in just fine.
Ed to the Future
Edd: Jonny, are you sure you don’t need us anymore? We could stay and guess more of Plank. Jonny: It’s a nice offer, but I’ve got to get things back to normal. I’ve also got to plan things to do tomorrow with Plank. So bye. Ed: Bye Jonny. (A moving van pulls up.) Edd: Hey look over there. Eddy: Who is in there? Ed: I don’t know. Jamie: Hello. (Scene change.) Jamie: C’mon guys. I belong to you. No one else likes me or scams. You’re perfect. Eddy: I think he’s fine, but we need a group vote. Ed: I want him in our group. Edd: I think he’ll be great. Eddy: Okay Jamie, you’re in. Jamie: Yeah. Eddy: You’re gonna fit in just fine. (Scene change.) (Eddy gets out of bed.) Eddy: I’ve got to see what Double D has planned and how Jamie is going to do on his first day on the job. (Scene change.) (Ed gets out of bed.) Ed: I’m up. It’s another day for scamming. (Ed climbs out his window and walks to Double D’s house.) (Ed knocks on Double D’s door.) (Double D answers it.) Edd: Hello Ed. Ed: Hi Double D. (Jamie walks up.) Jamie: Hi guys. What are we going to do today? Edd: Last night I made a time machine. Jamie: Great idea. We could scam people into going back in time and then make a fake dinosaur. Edd: No, Jamie. I meant a real one. (Eddy walks up.) Eddy: A real what? Ed: Time machine. Eddy: This is great. People will pay to go back in time or forwards in time. Jamie: Let’s put it up. (Scene change.) Eddy: Go back in time or forwards in time only fifty cents. Kevin: Sounds good. Nazz: Awsome. Sara: Let’s go Jimmy. Jonny: Wait, don’t go in there. Jimmy and I once went in the Eds time machine and it was fake. Sara: Is this true Jimmy. Jimmy: Yeah. (Everyone walks away.) Eddy: But this one is real. Double D built it. Edd: It really is. Kevin: Yeah right dorks. That’s right. I’m talking about Jamie too. Edd: What do I do now? I really wanted to see what would happen if someone went into the time machine. Ed, do you want to go in? Ed: No way. Eddy, do you? Eddy: Double D time travel is dangerous. Edd: So that’s a no. Eddy: Yeah. That’s a no. Let’s just think of another scam. Jamie: We could go to the dump and see what we can find. Eddy: Good idea. Let’s go. (Scene change.) Eddy: I found some more Canadian squirt guns. Everyone loved those. Edd: I say we sell them. Eddy: Ed, what did you find? Ed: I found some tires and a tree and a tree and some tires. Eddy: Okay that’s enough. Let’s go sell the Canadian squirt guns. (Scene change.) Eddy: You got them before, but now they’re back. Get you Canadian squirt guns. (No one comes up.) Eddy: C’mon guys. Who wants one? Kevin: The last time we bought them we ended up in a fight with the Kankers. Eddy: Yeah, but uh now they’re Kanker free. Kevin: Yeah, right. Dorks. Jonny: Plank says he wouldn’t buy them if they were the last things on Earth. Eddy: And why is that? Jonny: Because he got spayed by Crank Shop Number Five. Eddy: These are Kanker free. Kevin: How are they Kanker free? Eddy: Uh. The Kankers are on vacation. Lee: We’re right here. Jonny: Liars. They’re here. (Scene change.) Eddy: What do we do now? Jamie: You never asked me if I wanted to try out the new time machine. Edd: Do you want try out the new time machine. Jamie: Yes. Edd: Then we have to go back to my house. (They go back to Double D’s house.) (Double D is playing with the controls on the time machine.) Eddy: Hurry up sock head. Edd: I’m done. Okay Jamie the time machine will take you six years into the future. If you want to see the year, look at the newspaper. Jamie: Alright, here I go. (Jamie walks into the time machine and the time machine disappears.) (The time machine appears in the woods.) Jamie: I’m here. (Some newspapers blow in Jamie’s face.) Jamie: It’s the right year. I’m here. (Back in the past.) Eddy: He’s gone. Ed: Like a man on the moon. To Be Continued…
Ed to the Future Part 2
(A moving van pulls up.) Edd: Hey look over there. Eddy: Who is in there? Ed: I don’t know. Jamie: Hello. (Scene change.) Jamie: C’mon guys. I belong to you. No one else likes me or scams. You’re perfect. Eddy: I think he’s fine, but we need a group vote. Ed: I want him in our group. Edd: I think he’ll be great. Eddy: Okay Jamie, you’re in. Jamie: Yeah. Eddy: You’re gonna fit in just fine. (Scene change.) Jamie: Alright, here I go. (Jamie walks into the time machine and the time machine disappears.) (The time machine appears in the woods.) Jamie: I’m here. (Some newspapers blow in Jamie’s face.) Jamie: It’s the right year. I’m here. (Back in the past.) Eddy: He’s gone. Ed: Like a man on the moon. (Back in the Future.) (Jamie still has newspaper on his face.) Jamie: I’m looking in one, two, three. (Jamie takes the newspaper off.) I’m in the woods. Man if everyone is thirteen then they’re in college. I have no one to see. Eddy’s voice: This stinks. Jamie: Eddy? (Jamie walks to the Cul De Sac.) (He sees everyone chained up and using pick axes to smash rocks.) Jamie: Oh, my gosh. What happened? (Eddy looks and sees Jamie.)Eddy: It’s you. Go and run away. Jamie: Why? Eddy: You don’t want to know. Kevin: Go dork. You’re our only hope. Make weapons and come back. (Jamie walks back to the woods.) (He sits down.) Jamie: What happened? I thought the future would be great, but everyone is chained up. I have to see where Double D is. (He walks back to Eddy.) Jamie: Eddy, where’s Double D. Eddy: Across the way. Kevin: Don’t worry about us. Get the weapons. Jamie: I’m going to see Double D. (He walks around to Double D.) Jamie: Psst, Double D. Edd: Jamie, it’s you. I haven’t seen you since you went six years into the future. Jamie: Why are you chained up? Edd: Let’s just say when you left it was horrible. Jamie: How? Edd: Go make weapons and bring them back. Jamie: But how did the future get so horrible? Edd: Just make the weapons. (Jamie walks back to the woods.) Jamie: I get parts from the junk yard. (Jamie runs to the junk yard.) Okay a muffler and a box of chunky puffs. Let’s see what I can make. (Scene change.) Okay, that’s a chunky puff shooter. Now let’s see what else I can find. I need something to get them out of their chains. (Jamie looks on the ground and fins a blade.) Jamie: A blade. Maybe this will cut through the chains. I should test it. (He finds a chain.) Jamie: Okay. Let’s see if this will cut through this chain. If it can cut through this, then it will cut through the kids’ chains. (Jamie starts cutting the chain.) (The chain breaks in half.) Jamie: It works. Now for the rest of the weapons. (Scene change.) (Jamie walks back to the Cul De Sac.) Jamie: Kevin, I got the weapons. Kevin: Awesome. Cut the chains. (Jamie cuts everyone’s chains.) Jamie: Eddy, why are you chained. Eddy: Uh. There’s Double D. (Jamie walks over to Double D.) Jamie: Double D, why do we need these weapons? Edd: I can’t tell you. Jamie: Why not? Edd: I just can’t. Jamie: Can anyone tell me why you are in chains and why I needed to make you these weapons? Jimmy: Shhh. Jamie: Fine, if you’re not going to tell me, then I’ll just shout out and hope for an answer. Rolf: Oh boy. Nazz: Don’t do it, dude. Sara: Don’t be an idiot. Jamie: I’m not an idiot. Jimmy: You will be if you shout out. Jamie: I’m doing it and I’m not an idiot. Eddy: Don’t. Kevin: Stop being a dork. Edd: Be smart Jamie. Jamie: I’m doing it. (Jamie breaths in air.) Ed: No Jamie. Do not shout into the sky and doom us all. Jamie: Doom us? I doubt shouting will doom us. Jamie: Why are these guys in chains? Ed: No. Rolf: Oh boy. A voice: WHO DARES? (An evil dictator appears.) Jamie: Oh, now I see. Why didn’t you guys just tell me an evil dictator took over the Cul De Sac? Edd: We can’t. Rolf: Run Jamie boy. Run. (Jamie runs back to the junk yard.) (Back in the past.) Ed: I wonder how Jamie’s doing. Eddy: I bet he’s fine. To Be Continued…
Ed to the Future Part 3
(A moving van pulls up.) Edd: Hey look over there. Eddy: Who is in there? Ed: I don’t know. Jamie: Hello. (Scene change.) Jamie: C’mon guys. I belong to you. No one else likes me or scams. You’re perfect. Eddy: I think he’s fine, but we need a group vote. Ed: I want him in our group. Edd: I think he’ll be great. Eddy: Okay Jamie, you’re in. Jamie: Yeah. Eddy: You’re gonna fit in just fine. (Scene change.) Jamie: Alright, here I go. (Jamie walks into the time machine and the time machine disappears.) (The time machine appears in the woods.) Jamie: I’m here. (Some newspapers blow in Jamie’s face.) Jamie: It’s the right year. I’m here. (Back in the past.) Eddy: He’s gone. Ed: Like a man on the moon. Jamie: What happened? I thought the future would be great, but everyone is chained up. Jamie: Why are you chained up? Edd: Let’s just say when you left it was horrible. Jamie: Why are these guys in chains? Ed: No. Rolf: Oh boy. A voice: WHO DARES? (An evil dictator appears.) Jamie: Oh, now I see. Why didn’t you guys just tell me an evil dictator took over the Cul De Sac? Edd: We can’t. Rolf: Run Jamie boy. Run. (Jamie runs back to the junk yard.) (Back in the past.) Ed: I wonder how Jamie’s doing. Eddy: I bet he’s fine. (Back in the Future.) Jamie: Okay, I left my weapons back there, so the next time I go there I’m fighting. But when do I go back. Eddy: How about now? (Jamie sees Eddy.) Eddy: I escaped too. Let’s go fight. Jamie: Sounds good. (Scene change.) (Back at the Cul De Sac.) Jamie: Okay everyone you ready? Kevin: Yes. I speak for all of us. Jamie: Okay, Eddy do you thing. Eddy: (Very loud.) HEY STUPID DICTATOR, COME DOWN HERE. WE’VE ESCAPED. (Evil Dictator comes down.) Jamie: Fire. (Everyone fires their chunky puff blasters.) Evil dictator: STOP. (Everyone stops.) Evil Dictator: I WILL DESTROY YOU. (Everyone runs to the junkyard.) Kevin: What do we do? He’s too strong. Rolf: Look, a big bag. Eddy: Double D, build a shrink ray. Edd: I don’t know how. But we can buy one. Ed: Let’s go to the store. (Scene change.) (Eddy throws a rock at the window and crawls in the opening.) Edd: Okay Eddy. Get that ray all the way over to the right. Eddy: Got it. Jamie: Great, now let’s get out of here. (Scene change.) Eddy: (Very loud.) HEY STUPID DICTATOR, WE ESCAPE. YOUR SECURITY SUCKS EGGS. Evil Dictator: YOUR DEAD NOW. Eddy: Kevin, now. (Kevin jumps out of a tree and puts the bag over the evil dictator.) Eddy: Rolf, Ed, tie it up. (Rolf and Ed tie the bag up.) Nazz: Now Double D. (Double D shrinks the bag.) Evil Dictator: NOOOOOOOOO. Jamie: We beat him. (Everyone cheers.) Kevin: Jamie, I’m sorry I ever called you a dork. Nazz: I’m sorry too. Sara and Jimmy: Us too. Jonny: Plank and I say we’re sorry. Jamie: It’s okay. All of you you’re my friends. But sadly back in the past you hate me. Edd: I have an idea. Why don’t you just bring all of us back, so we could tell our past selves? Jamie: Future Double D that’s a great idea. I’ll bring all of you back in time with me. Kevin: Great. So when do we go back in time. Jamie: Do you guys want to go right now? Everyone: Yeah. (Jamie leads them through the woods.) Jamie: It’s right over… Hey where’d it go? (Back in the past.) Ed: Huh that’s weird. Edd: The time machine just came back. How will Jamie get back now? Eddy: You mean you can’t bring him back. Ed: Nope. (Fire shows up behind Eddy.) Eddy: What do you mean you don’t know how bring him back. Edd: Oops. To Be Continued…
Ed to the Future Part 4
(A moving van pulls up.) Edd: Hey look over there. Eddy: Who is in there? Ed: I don’t know. Jamie: Hello. (Scene change.) Jamie: C’mon guys. I belong to you. No one else likes me or scams. You’re perfect. Eddy: I think he’s fine, but we need a group vote. Ed: I want him in our group. Edd: I think he’ll be great. Eddy: Okay Jamie, you’re in. Jamie: Yeah. Eddy: You’re gonna fit in just fine. (Scene change.) Jamie: Alright, here I go. (Jamie walks into the time machine and the time machine disappears.) (The time machine appears in the woods.) Jamie: I’m here. (Some newspapers blow in Jamie’s face.) Jamie: It’s the right year. I’m here. (Back in the past.) Eddy: He’s gone. Ed: Like a man on the moon. Jamie: What happened? I thought the future would be great, but everyone is chained up. Jamie: Why are you chained up? Edd: Let’s just say when you left it was horrible. Jamie: Why are these guys in chains? Ed: No. Rolf: Oh boy. A voice: WHO DARES? (An evil dictator appears.) Jamie: Oh, now I see. Why didn’t you guys just tell me an evil dictator took over the Cul De Sac? Edd: We can’t. Rolf: Run Jamie boy. Run. (Jamie runs back to the junk yard.) (Back in the past.) Ed: I wonder how Jamie’s doing. Eddy: I bet he’s fine. Eddy: (Very loud.) HEY STUPID DICTATOR, COME DOWN HERE. WE’VE ESCAPED. (Evil Dictator comes down.) Jamie: Fire. (Everyone fires their chunky puff blasters.) Evil dictator: STOP. (Everyone stops.) Evil Dictator: I WILL DESTROY YOU. Edd: Okay Eddy. Get that ray all the way over to the right. Eddy: Got it. Jamie: Great, now let’s get out of here. Eddy: (Very loud.) HEY STUPID DICTATOR, WE ESCAPE. YOUR SECURITY SUCKS EGGS. Evil Dictator: YOUR DEAD NOW. Eddy: Kevin, now. (Kevin jumps out of a tree and puts the bag over the evil dictator.) Eddy: Rolf, Ed, tie it up. (Rolf and Ed tie the bag up.) Nazz: Now Double D. (Double D shrinks the bag.) Evil Dictator: NOOOOOOOOO. All of you you’re my friends. But sadly back in the past you hate me. Edd: I have an idea. Why don’t you just bring all of us back, so we could tell our past selves? Jamie: Future Double D that’s a great idea. Jamie: It’s right over… Hey where’d it go? (Back in the past.) Ed: Huh that’s weird. Edd: The time machine just came back. How will Jamie get back now? Eddy: You mean you can’t bring him back. Ed: Nope. (Fire shows up behind Eddy.) Eddy: What do you mean you don’t know how bring him back. Edd: Oops. (Back in the future.) Jamie: Can anything else go wrong today? There’s an evil dictator and now I can’t get back home. Double D can you build me another time machine? Edd: No I forgot. There are time traveling rays, but they can only bring one person home. Jamie: Eddy, I think we’ll break into that store again. (Scene change.) (Eddy throws a rock at the window and crawls in the opening.) Edd: Get ten if them Eddy. Eddy: Got them. Ed: Let’s get out of here. Edd: Okay everyone, I’ve set the ray to six years ago. Ready, aim, fire. (Back in the past.) (Everyone appears.) Future Kevin: Hey everyone. (Past people come out.) Future Kevin: We are you in the future. I know right know you think Jamie is a dork because he doesn’t like anything you do. But he saved us all in the future. So I want you all to be his friends. Sara: You saved us all? Jamie: Yep. Sara: Wow. Jamie: By the way future Double D, when does the dictator attack in five seconds. Jamie: Future Rolf, get the bag and the shrink ray. (Scene change.) (Future Double D shrinks the bag.) Jamie: Well, he’s out of the picture. Eddy: I’m going to kill you Double D. Jamie: Eddy. Eddy: You’re lucky sock head. Future Kevin: Well we should go back to the future. Jamie: Be sure to return the ten time rays and the shrink ray. Future Kevin: We will. Bye. (They go back to the future.) Jamie: So, Double D, do you need me to time travel again? (Double D smiles.)
Up, Up, and Ed Part 1
Edd: Eddy, why are pretending to drive in your brother’s car. Eddy: To practice for when I’m sixteen. Edd: This is boring. Ed is more exciting. Eddy: You wouldn’t be saying that behind the wheel sock head. If you want to see what Ed is doing you can go. (Edd gets out of the car and walks away.) (Scene change.) (At Ed’s house.) Edd: Hi Ed. Ed: Hi Double D. Edd: What are doing. Ed: I’m getting ready to watch the hero vs. the super villain movie. It’s Razor Claws’ team vs. Black Cat’s team. Where’s Eddy? Edd: In his brother’s car pretending to drive. Ed: Go tell him about it. (Edd walks away.) (Scene change.) Edd: Eddy, come quick. You’ve got to see what Ed is doing. Eddy: Shut up. I’m concentrating. Edd: But you’ve got to see. Eddy: You’re probably right. Ed is more exciting. Fine, I’ll see what he’s doing. (Scene change.) (At Ed’s house.) Ed: Hi Eddy. Double D did you tell him. Eddy: Tell me what? Ed: There’s a hero vs. the super villain movie. It’s Razor Claws’ team vs. Black Cat’s team. Eddy: Sounds good. You know sock head, you were right this is good. So when is it on? Ed: At eight o’clock. Eddy: Double D what time is it. Edd: Four o’clock. We have four hours until the movie. Eddy: Let’s get a scam in. Sock head think of a scam. We can tell people about the movie for twenty five cents. Eddy: Sounds good. (Scene change.) Eddy: Info on something awesome. Kevin: What is it? Eddy: Pay twenty five cents and we’ll tell you. Kevin: Well then let me tell you something awesome. There’s a movie on tonight at eight. Eddy: Does everybody else know about this? Kevin: Duh. Eddy: Well this stinks. Kevin: Oh it’s seven o’clock. I better get popcorn and drinks ready for the movie. Eddy: It’s seven. We only have one hour. Edd: Let’s make popcorn. Ed: And drinks. (Scene change.) Eddy: Do we have everything? Drinks? Edd: Check. Snacks and popcorn. Edd: Check. Eddy: Okay let’s get it started. (Scene change.) Eddy: Man that was an awesome movie. Ed: I wish it was real. Eddy: You wish a lot of things. Like when you wished you were a monster. You rocked at it. Lee’s voice: Halt. (The Kankers appear.) Lee: Give us all your money. Edd: We don’t have any. Eddy: Get lost. May: Fine. (Scene change.) Eddy: Let’s talk about that movie some more. Rolf: Ed boys. Help me. The Kankers stole my money. Jonny: They stole mine too. Jimmy and Sara: Us too. Kevin: And me. Nazz: It wasn’t cool. Here they come. Marie: We like to think of ourselves as super villains. Eddy: Run everyone. Lee: I love it when they run. We’ll see you guys later. Eddy: I just thought of a scam. Edd: Attention everyone. Eddy: Remember that movie last night? Well you can now become a super hero. Meet us in the middle of the Cul De Sac in twenty minutes. Bring a superhero costume and a cool superhero name to go with it. (Scene change.) Eddy: Okay people, tell me your names. Rolf: I’m the goat milker. Sara: I’m Shredder. I have razor sharp claws. Jimmy: I’m Bunny Bomber. Nazz: I’m Pom Pom. Eddy: I think we all know who Jonny is. Jonny: Yes I’m captain Melon head with my sidekick, Splinter the Wonder wood. Eddy: Now I bet your wondering where Ed and Double D are. Well Double D is Doctor Science and Double D is helping Ed with his monster suit. When they come here, I’m going to change into my Doctor Money costume from when I scammed you into buying the Thing a ma jigs. Kevin: We got our money back. (Scene change.) Edd: Okay people. Eddy should be back shortly from changing into his Doctor Money costume. Eddy: Okay guys. I’m ready. (Scene change.) Eddy: Kankers. Get out here and fight. Marie: Go away or else. Eddy: Fine we’ll leave. (Scene change.) Edd: Okay people let’s plan our attack. May: How about we plan ours. We’re really villains now. We got inspired by that movie. Eddy: Us too. Tell them your names guys. Rolf: I’m the goat milker. Sara: I’m Shredder. I have razor sharp claws. Jimmy: I’m Bunny Bomber. Nazz: I’m Pom Pom. Jonny: I’m captain Melon head with my sidekick, Splinter the Wonder wood. Eddy: I’m Doctor Money. Edd: I’m doctor science. Ed: I’m a monster. Marie: Oh boys.
Lee: We’re super villains now. Marie: I’m Meduse. That’s spelled M A D U S. Edd: It’s really spelled M E D U S E. May I’m Buck tuthe. That’s spelled B U K T U T H. Edd: It’s really spelled B U C K T U T H E Lee: I’m Black Wido. That’s spelled B L A K W I D O. Edd: It’s really spelled B L A C K W I D O May: We’re here to attack you.
To be continued…
Up, Up, and Ed Part 2
May: We’re here to attack. Edd: Ready for battle everyone. Jonny? Plank? Jimmy? Sara? Nazz? Rolf? Kevin? Where’s Kevin. Kevin: I think it’s stupid. Eddy: You wouldn’t be saying that if you were fighting. Edd: That sounds like you wouldn’t be saying that if you were behind the wheel. Ed: Enough talk. Battle. (Everyone fights.) (Scene change.) Jonny: I can’t believe we lost. Eddy: I’ve got an idea. Everyone line up in a line. We’re gonna pick the strongest people. Edd: Well, Rolf you’ve been picked. Rolf: Thank you. Edd: And… Eddy: Just eliminate them one by one. Edd: Jimmy, you’re out. Jimmy: Fine. Eddy: Nazz you’re nice, but not that strong. Nazz: Fine. Edd: Jonny, Plank you’re out. Sara: So I’m the only one left. Yeah. Eddy: Okay Rolf, go with Double D and help him fight Marie. Sara, you’re with me and Ed. We’re fighting May. (Scene change.) (Ed, Eddy, and Rolf are sneaking around the Kanker’s trailer looking through the windows.) Eddy: There she is. Watching Eddy: Rolf go around back and see if Marie or Lee are there. Rolf: Okay. (Rolf goes to the back of the trailer. Rolf looks around. He goes back to the front.) Rolf: They’re upstairs. Eddy: Perfect. (Scene change.) (Ed bangs down the door.) Eddy: Hello May. Rolf: Prepare to be beaten. (Rolf and May fight. May comes out on top of Rolf.) May: Ha Rolf. Ed: Leave him alone. AHHH. (Ed jumps on top of May.) May: Get off. (May pushes Ed to the ground with her hand.)Eddy: Okay. Now I’m mad. (May kicks Eddy and holds him down with her foot.) May: Do you guys surrender? Eddy: Yes. Ed: Yes. Rolf: Sadly Yes. Nazz’s voice: Wait. (Nazz comes in the door.) Nazz: Leave them alone. (Nazz and May fight. Nazz comes out on top of May.) May: I surrender. Just get off of me. (Scene change.) Sara: Lee and Marie are upstairs. Eddy: We’ll handle Marie. Just go get Lee. (Everyone goes upstairs.) (Lee and Marie are watching TV.) Eddy: Kankers. We got you where we want you. Rolf, get Marie. Rolf: Rolf will inflict pain on you. (Marie and Rolf fight. Rolf comes out on top of Marie.) Edd: Nice job Rolf. Lee: AHHH. Sara: Leave them alone. (Sara and Lee fight. Sara comes out on top of Lee.) May: What’s going on up here? Huh? Eds. AHHH. (May tackles Eds and comes out on top.) Edd: What do we do? Ed: My underwear’s wet guys. Jonny’s voice: AHHHHH. (Jonny breaks through the window while swinging on a rope.) Jonny: Captain Melon Head is here to save the day. (Jonny tackles May and comes out on top.) Lee: Alright you win. We surrender for now, but at six o’clock tonight we’ll come to the Cul De Sac for the ultimate showdown. Eddy: Deal. After that we end this superhero stuff. Lee: Deal. (Scene change.) Alright guys we have four hours to train, so welcome to Ed’s training school. Only twenty five cents. (Everyone except Jimmy and Kevin pays and goes in.) For you first test you have to train on these dummies. (Everyone tackles the dummies.) Edd: Good work guys. Okay next we want you to practice shoving the dummies against a wall. That’s usually how you get someone to surrender. (Everyone shoves the dummies against the wall.) Eddy: Your training is now complete. Sara: That’s it. Ed: Yep. (Scene change.) Lee: Okay people let’s fight. (Lee tackles Rolf and she comes out on top.) (Marie tackles Jonny and she comes out on top.) Marie: Here, Lee, hold Jonny against the wall. Eddy: Man they got better. (Marie tackles Sara and Marie comes out on top.) Marie: Lee, hold Sara down with your foot. May: Now for the Eds. (Marie and May tackle the Eds. Marie holds Eddy and Edd down. May holds Ed down.) Eddy: We’re done for. Jimmy’s voice: No you’re not. (Jimmy runs up to the Eds.) Jimmy: Get off them. (Jimmy tackles May and Marie and comes out on top.) Jimmy: Don’t underestimate the Bunny Bomber. Sara: Yeah Jimmy. Lee: Shut up. May: You still won’t beat us. Kevin’s voice: Need a little help? (Kevin appears riding on his bike.) Kevin: Leave them alone. (Marie tackles Kevin, but Kevin comes out on top.) Kevin: Hey Dorks. Go attack Lee. She can’t hold all of you. (They attack Lee. Rolf, Sara and Jonny run away.) Kevin: Rolf, hold Marie. (Kevin tackles Lee and comes out on top.) Kevin: Sara, hold Lee. Sara: With pleasure. (Kevin tackles May and comes out on top.) Kevin: Ed, get some rope. Ed: Okay. (Ed runs off.) Kevin: Jonny, put these three all together until Ed gets the rope. Ed: I got the rope. Kevin: I’ll tie them up. (Scene change.) (At Ed’s room.) Eddy: Well Ed, we did it. We beat the Kankers. (Kevin opens the window.) Kevin: Hey guys want to go get some victory jawbreakers. Edd: Yeah. Kevin: Let’s go.
I Was a Teenage Ed
(Opening theme.) (Title on the screen: Eddy’s birthday.) Edd: Ed, it’s a very special day. Ed: What? Rolf: You don’t know Ed boy? Ed: What is it? Nazz: It’s only once a year. Ed: Just tell me. Kevin: It’s a celebration for a dork. Ed: Nope. I don’t know. C’mon guys. Tell me. Jimmy: It has something to do with your friend. Ed: Oh, where is Sara. Sara: I’m right here you idiot. You should know. Ed: Gravy? Sara: No fish face. It’s Eddy’s birthday. Ed: Happy birthday to Eddy. (Eddy walks up.) (Double D looks at him.) Eddy: What stupid. Nazz: You don’t know. Eddy: I got a car? Finally. Kevin: No dork. Edd: Happy birthday Eddy. Eddy: Oh yeah I forgot. Nazz: What was that about? Eddy: I’m gonna throw a party. Nazz: A party? That’s great Eddy. Eddy: Okay guys I’ll start preparing. (Scene change.) Eddy: C’mon Double D. You have to hang signs. I’m fourteen. Edd: No Eddy. I will not waste my time making signs. Don’t you know how they look on scams? Eddy: If I say no, will you make them? Edd: Let’s hear the answer. Eddy: I don’t know. Edd: Well my answers still no. (Scene change.) (Eddy welcomes people into the party.) Eddy: Hello, Nazz. Nazz: Hi Eddy. (Nazz walks in.) Eddy: Kevin, you came. Kevin: You’re still a dork. I just can’t resist parties. Eddy: Yeah, right, dork. (Kevin walks in.) Eddy: Double D, Ed. Ed: We came. Eddy: You can go in Ed. Ed: Party. Edd: I’ll just go in. Eddy: Hold it. You don’t go in until you give me that sign. Edd: Okay, fine. (Scene change.) Eddy: Okay, Double D, you can go in. Edd: Thank you Eddy. (Eddy walks in.) Eddy: Thank you everyone for coming to my fourteenth birthday.
(Title on the screen: Double D’s birthday.) Eddy: Happy Double D. Edd: Thank you Eddy. I’m fourteen and I’m feeling good. Eddy: Are you throwing a party? Edd: Yeah. It’s a surprise to everyone else. Eddy: Go and tell them. Edd: I know I’ll get Ed to tell them. (Scene change.) Edd: Ed, will you tell everyone it’s my birthday. Ed: Ready for mission sir. Ed: Hey everyone. Kevin: Don’t shout so loud dork. Ed: its Double D’s birthday. Nazz: Awesome, another party. Edd: Yes I am throwing a party tonight. Jonny: Will it be as good as Eddy’s party. Edd: Maybe better. Eddy: Not likely. Edd: As I was saying, I am throwing a great party tonight. Nazz: That’s awesome. Edd: Eddy, I want you to make signs. Eddy: No way. Edd: I did it for you. Eddy: What if I don’t? Edd: I won’t let you in my party. Eddy: Okay fine. Edd: Thank you Eddy. I want them to say: My fourteenth birthday, but make the fourteen a number. Eddy: Got it. (Scene change.) Eddy: Ed, I need you to make signs for Double D’s birthday. Ed: What do they need to say? Eddy: Double D wants them to say: My fourteenth birthday. Ed: Got it Eddy. Eddy: Make the fourteen a number. Ed: I’ll go Joe. (Scene change.) (Double D welcomes people into the party.) (Everyone walks in.) Edd: Thank you for coming. Kevin: The only reason I’m here is because I love parties. (Edd walks in.) Thank you everyone for coming. Kevin: Where’s the party? Edd: It’s right here. Nazz: No music? No snacks? Edd: Uh, yeah. (Everyone walks out.) Edd: Okay, Ed. Ed: What’s up? Edd: I need you to get snacks. Eddy, get a boom box. Meet me back here. Eddy: Got it. (Scene change.) Edd: Okay, Ed, now. Ed: I have an announcement. Double D’s party got way cooler. Kevin: They’re lying. Nazz, go check it out. (Nazz goes in.) Nazz: They’re not lying. Kevin: Alright. Party. (Everyone goes in.) Edd: Thank you everyone for coming to my fourteenth birthday.
(Title on the screen: Ed’s birthday.)
Edd: Here he comes. Everyone: Happy birthday Ed. Ed: Happy birthday to me. Nazz: Is there going to be one more party? Ed: Double D, are you throwing a party. Edd: Nazz is trying to say are you throwing a party. Ed: Why? Nazz: Hello, it’s your birthday. Ed: I will throw a party because all my friends did. Kevin: It better be good. Sock head’s was horrible. Eddy: At least he didn’t call you a dork. Nazz: Tell us more about the party, Ed. Ed: Well I will have signs and music and snacks. Nazz: Just like Eddy’s. Where is it gonna be. Ed: In my room. Eddy: Hold it. Who’s gonna make the signs? Ed: You and Double D. Edd: I didn’t make you do it for my party, Ed. Ed: Can’t I have a little fun? Eddy: Fun? That’s not fun. Having Double D as your butler now, that would be fun. Ed: I don’t want to be that harsh to Double D. Edd: Thanks, Ed. Ed: I want the signs to say Ed’s fourteenth birthday. Eddy: Do you want fourteen to be a number, lumpy? Ed: No, make it a word. (Scene change.) Eddy: The signs are made. Are you ready Ed? Ed: Okay. Ed’s party is now open. Everyone: Yeah. (Everyone walks in.) Ed: Welcome everyone. Go downstairs to my room. (Everyone goes to Ed’s room.) Ed: Thank you everyone for coming to my fourteenth birthday. Eddy: You know Double D, it’s weird. I feel smarter and the thought that I should do better in school. Ed: Yeah, me too. Edd: I heard that happens when you turn fourteen. Eddy: Man that stinks. Nazz: Finally everyone’s fourteen. Edd: So true. Eddy: It still stinks.
The Ed-ban Rangers
Rolf: Urban Rangers, today we will venture on a journey. (Kevin walks by.) Kevin: Yo, Rolf, what are you doing? Rolf: Going on a trip with the Urban Rangers. Kevin: How come I never got word? Jimmy: You did, Kevin. A while back we held slots for Urban Rangers. Kevin: Can I join now? Rolf: Let’s see. (Rolf thinks.) Rolf: Rangers, tomorrow, since no one joined, we will be having slots. Eddy: Hey, Urban losers, want me to join? (Eddy laughs.) (Scene change.) Rolf: May I have everyone’s attention? Today, the Urban Rangers would like to welcome you to join us. Now Ranger Jonny and Jimmy will tell you some things us rangers do. Jonny: We go on trips like the one yesterday. Kevin: I saw them talking about it. Jimmy: You will earn badges and the more badges, the more respect. Eddy: Yeah, right. Ed: Shush. The yeast is rising. Eddy: I’m out of here. (Scene change.) Eddy: It’s a once in a life time opportunity, Nazz, Shoes, all the way from Paris. Nazz: Sounds rad, Eddy. (Trumpet blows.) Nazz: Oh, sorry Eddy. I’ve got to report to the Urban Rangers. (Nazz walks away.) Eddy: STUPID RANGERS. (Sara walks by.) Eddy: Hey squirt, where are you going? Sara: To the Urban Rangers. Jimmy says it’s fun. Eddy: STUPID RANGERS. (Double D walks by.) Eddy: Double D, please tell me you’re not going to the Urban losers. Edd: No I’m not. (Ed walks by.) Eddy: Ed, I know you would never join the Urban Rangers. Ed: Yes I did. Eddy: Lumpy, you joined? Ed: Yeah. I thought it would be fun. Double D… (Double D covers Ed’s mouth.) Edd: I didn’t do anything. Eddy: I’ve got to see what they’re doing. (Scene change.) (Eddy pokes his head out of a bush.) Eddy: There they are. Look at them. Rolf is leading. Jimmy and Jonny follow with Nazz, Sara, Ed, and what. Is that Double D. (Double D sees Eddy and hides behind Ed.) Eddy: Double D, what are you doing with the Urban Rangers. Edd: Why I’m looking what Ed is doing. Rolf: He has joined the Urban Rangers. Eddy: You joined? I thought you said you didn’t join. Edd: Okay, okay, I joined. I couldn’t pass this opportunity up. Rolf finally let us join. I’m sorry. Eddy: I can’t believe this. (Eddy walks off.) (Scene change.) (Eddy is on his bed.) Eddy: Everyone joined them, the urban losers. Nazz, Jimmy, Jonny, Plank, Rolf, Ed, Double D, and Kevin all joined them. Wait a minute. Kevin. He didn’t join. Quick, I’ve got to find him. (Scene change.) (Eddy walks up to Kevin.) Kevin: What do you want dork? Eddy: Why aren’t you with the Urban Rangers? Kevin: I just didn’t want to join. Eddy: Why? Kevin: Rolf and I go way back. We had a lot of good times. There were also bad times. You know what? Who cares? So Rolf and I had some bad times, that doesn’t mean I can’t join the Urban Rangers. Thanks dork. Eddy: No, Kevin, don’t join. I’ll be the only one left who doesn’t join. Kevin: I guess inside I don’t want to join. Eddy: Thanks. Kevin: Okay, now I want to join. I feel left out. Eddy: You have no idea. Kevin: Well I’m going. (Scene change.) Kevin: Rolf, I would like to join the Urban Rangers. Rolf: Sorry Kevin, but joining can only be done when we say it can be done. Since you’re my friend I will organize a joining tomorrow. Kevin: Thanks Rolf. (Eddy walks up.) Eddy: Rolf, don’t let him join. Kevin: Shut up, dork. Rolf: Why shouldn’t Rolf let Kevin boy join? Eddy: I’ll be left out, ruined. Double D and Ed joined. Without my two pals I’m useless. Rolf: Join the Urban Rangers, as we can turn your frown upside down Ed boy. Kevin: So, can I join Rolf? Rolf: Do not interrupt me, Kevin boy. Kevin: Sorry man. Rolf: I will expect you two and Jamie at the Cul De Sac circle in the morning. (Scene change.) Jonny: Kevin and Eddy, do you swear to behold the Urban Ranger rules. Kevin: I swear. Eddy: Again, I’d swear, but standards won’t let me. So yeah, I swear. Then you are now Urban Rangers. Jamie: Wait for me. Jonny: Jamie, do you swear to behold the Urban Ranger rules. Jamie: I swear. Rolf: By the power in me, I deem you Urban Rangers. Now go off and join the others.
Range-Ed-Hood
(Ed, Double D, and Eddy are in Urban Ranger uniforms.) Eddy: Another day with the Urban Rangers. Edd: Rolf has a big announcement today. Ed: Rolf is awesome. Eddy: Shut up. I only joined these idiots because everyone else did. Edd: I’m sure that wasn’t the full reason. Eddy: You can’t prove anything Mr. I know everything about everyone. Ed: C’mon guys. We’ll be late. (Scene change.) Rolf: Rolf has an announcement to make. Kevin: Spill it, dude. I can be at home watching horror movies. Rolf: Scilence. As you know you’ve been in the Urban Rangers for six months. Jonny: We’ve been in it for two years. Jimmy: Jonny, don’t boast. Jonny: At least I have the Ghost Story badge. Jimmy: That night was creepy. I was hanging from a tree. Rolf: I said science As Ranger Jonny said, Jimmy, Jonny and I have been Urban Rangers for two years. You’ve only been Urban Rangers for six months. Eddy: We’ve got that info. Move on with the speech already. Rolf: We have to quit being Urban Rangers. Jonny: What? You never told us that. Eddy: this is great. Now I don’t have to hang with the annoying bald kid and his piece of wood. Rolf: You are wrong Ed boy. When you guys were first becoming Urban Rangers… Eddy: Don’t remind me. Rolf: Plank was at the same rank as you. Eddy: Plank is staying? Jonny: Without me? Rolf: Correct, unless Plank doesn’t want to become a full Urban Ranger. Eddy: What was the big point in coming here? Rolf: I have a very good reason that I think you will agree with, Ed boy. Eddy: Well, what is it? Rolf: Since us three are leaving, a new leader of the Urban Rangers will be chosen. Edd: Excuse me Rolf, but how do we prove ourselves to be the leader. Rolf: Today Rangers you will all have a chance to impress me. Jonny: Whoever does the best job impressing Rolf wins. Eddy: I can balance myself on my tongue. Rolf: You shall do it during the day. Ed: how do we know when you’re looking at us, Rolf? Jonny: You won’t. Rolf is going to creep around and be spying on all of you. Jimmy: You won’t know when he’s doing it. Kevin: What are you guys doing? Jonny: We are going to be spying on you guys also. Eddy: Great. I’m spending my day getting spied on by baldy, the clown, and Mr. hairy back. (Scene change.) Edd: I guess I can start by earning badges all day, except I won’t be earning them. I’ll be doing them to make Rolf, Jimmy, and Jonny happy. (Jonny is looking at Double D behind a tree.) (Where Eddy is.) Eddy: How am I supposed to prove myself to stupid Rolf? Ed: How about you earn a badge? That is the stupidest thought Ed. Earning badges won’t make them happy. How about we decorate the front of Rolf’s house? Then he’ll have to make me the leader. C’mon Ed. (Scene change.) (Where Kevin is.) (Kevin is riding his bike around in a circle.) Kevin: I’m going to be the best at earning the bike riding badge. (Jimmy is looking at Kevin from inside a bush.) (Where Nazz is.) (Nazz is doing stretching.) Nazz: I’m going to be the best at the yoga badge.) (Back where Kevin is.) Kevin: I just felt a disturbance. (Back where Nazz is.) Nazz: If you’re watching urban dudes, then you’ll see that I’m the best at earning the yoga badge. (Rolf is looking at her behind a tree.) Rolf: This makes Rolf sweat. Rolf must get some broth to calm his nerves. (Rolf walks off.) (Scene change.) (Rolf sees his house.) Eddy: Surprise. Rolf: Ed boy, you have done the most excellent job at the Urban Ranger leader contest all day. Eddy: Why thank you. Ed: I helped. Eddy: But not much. Rolf: Well I’m impressed. I’m just going to get some broth to watch Nazz. (Rolf goes inside and comes out with a jar of broth.) Eddy: Enjoy that broth, stretch. Also enjoy your house. (Where Nazz is.) Rolf: This must be tiring work. (Jonny runs up.) Jonny: Rolf, we checked all the rangers and I think I have a winner. Rolf: Rolf has a winner too. Jonny: I’ll get Jimmy to blow the trumpet and we’ll see who will be the winner. (Scene change.) (Trumpet blows) (Everyone comes back.) Kevin: Who’s the winner? Jonny: We haven’t decided. Rolf: We’re down to the Ed boys. Eddy: Can we decide? Jimmy: Why not let the Eds decide? Rolf: Okee Dokey Ed boys chose. Eddy: Rolf, we’re a team. If we have to choose a leader out of us it will be all of us. Rolf: Jimmy, get me the Ranger book. (Jimmy comes back with the Ranger book.) (Rolf looks through it.) Rolf: It seems I never saw that rule. Okay, Ed boys. You can all be leaders. Eddy: That rocks. Edd: I have some great ideas to share. Kevin: All in favor of quitting? (No one says anything.) Kevin: Okay, fine I won’t quit. Ed: We’ll be the best rangers ever. Rolf: You will also have the responsibility of looking after Plank. Edd: We’ll look after Plank for you. Eddy: Let’s start out journey into Ranger hood. Ed, Edd, and Eddy: Yeah.
Ed-Ship Rising
Eddy: Double D, think of a scam. Ed: What can I do? Eddy: Shut up. Ed: Okay. Edd: I’ve got it. We’ll charge people to ride in a Go-Kart. Eddy: We had something similar. Remember that car driving school we had when Sara was sick. Edd: Brings me back, Eddy. Eddy: Let’s do it. (Scene change.) (In the junk yard.) Eddy: Okay people, let’s look for parts. Edd: I found an engine. Eddy: I found tires. Double D, try and find a cardboard box. Edd: Found it. Eddy: Now let’s build that car. (Scene change.) Eddy: It’s a beauty, boys. Ed: Let’s test it. Eddy: What are you talking about Ed? We never test anything. Ed: I want to test it. (Ed jumps on the car and breaks it.) Eddy: You idiot. That’s why we never test things. Edd: Eddy, he was just trying to… Eddy: Shut up, sock head. Ed, you’re going away. I don’t care where you just leave. We need to get a new car now. Now go. (Scene change.) (In the junk yard.) Ed: I was just trying to help them. I didn’t know I would smash the car. I am the biggest idiot ever. I know, I could build them a new car, one with a working engine. I better get to work. (Ed puts together a car.) Ed: Just wait till Eddy sees… (Ed trips and breaks the car.) Ed: No. I can’t believe it. I broke it again. What am I gonna do? (Scene change.) Eddy: C’mon Double D, stop trying to fix that car. We’ll just go to the junk yard and get a new one. Edd: Okay, fine, Eddy. (In the junk yard.) Eddy: Find a cardboard box, Double D. Edd: got it, Eddy. Eddy: Keep an eye out for Ed. He could destroy our car again. Edd: I have some tires. Eddy: Put them on. (Double D puts the tires on.) Eddy: Okay, now let’s get back to the Cul-De-Sac before Ed shows up. Ed’s Voice: Eddy, Double D, I made a car. (Ed trips and breaks the car.) Eddy: I swear you are biggest idiot ever. Ed: I built a car and… Eddy: You did? Ed: Yeah. Edd: Does it work? Ed: Well I tripped and kind of squished it. Edd: Did it have a motor? Ed: Yeah. Eddy: Leave it to Ed to destroy a perfectly good car. Ed: I built it. You guys couldn’t even build one with an engine. Eddy: Forget you. You’re still banned. Now we’re building another car and taking it back to the stinking Cul-De-Sac. (Scene change.) (In the Cul- De Sac.) Eddy: Who wants to drive a go kart? It’s only twenty-five cents. Sara: A real go Kart that zooms around? Eddy: Yeah. Sara: Jimmy, did you hear that? Let’s burn rubber. Eddy: Okay, get in. (Sara and Jimmy get into the car.) Eddy: Start pushing Double D. (Double D tries to push, but the car doesn’t move.) Sara: Hello? Turn this thing on. Eddy: It’s starting up. (Sara gets out and takes Eddy’s quarter.) Eddy: Double D, we need that motorized car that Ed said he made. To the junk yard. (Scene change.) Eddy: Ed, Ed, where are you. Ed: Over here, Eddy. (Eddy runs over to Ed.) Eddy: Ed, I need you to build one of those Go-Karts that has a motor. Ed: You really want me to build it. Eddy: Yep. Ed: Alright. (Scene change.) Ed: There it is. Eddy: It’s a beauty. Ed: Let me show you how it works. (Ed jumps and breaks the car.) Eddy: You moron. You broke the car again. Ed: Sorry guys, but the last one I built had a steel box. Eddy: Double D, find a steel box and bring it back to the Cul-De-Sac. Also, use these parts to make a new car. Edd: Got it, Eddy. Eddy: Ed, go away. (Scene change.) Ed: They don’t want me anymore. (Ed walks all the way to the other side of the junk yard and sees a space ship.) Ed: Eddy: will really like me if he sees this. I should test it, first. (Ed walks into the space ship.) Ed: Look, a big red button. Blast off. I wonder what that means. (Ed pushes the button.) (The space ship blasts off and lands on another planet.) Ed: I’m on another planet. I have to get back to Earth. I think my imagination is programmed into this space ship. (Ed walks onto the planet.) Ed: I could check this place out, and then get back to Earth. It’s like the time Eddy and Double D were with me at that junk yard. Okay, I have to get back to Earth. (Ed’s spaceship blasts back to Earth.) Ed: Oh, no. How will I ever get back home now? To be continued…
Vindicate-Ed
Ed: They don’t want me anymore. (Ed walks all the way to the other side of the junk yard and sees a space ship.) Ed: Eddy: will really like me if he sees this. I should test it, first. (Ed walks into the space ship.) Ed: Look, a big red button. Blast off. I wonder what that means. (Ed pushes the button.) (The space ship blasts off and lands on another planet.) Ed: I’m on another planet. I have to get back to Earth. I think my imagination is programmed into this space ship. (Ed walks onto the planet.) Ed: I could check this place out, and then get back to Earth. It’s like the time Eddy and Double D were with me at that junk yard. Okay, I have to get back to Earth. (Ed’s spaceship blasts back to Earth.) Ed: Oh, no. How will I ever get back home now? (Scene change.) (On Earth.) Eddy: Step up to ride a working Go-Kart, only twenty-five cents. Sara: Yeah, right. It didn’t work last time. Kevin: Sara’s right. These dorks don’t have this Go-Kart up and running. Eddy: Oh, yeah. Do you want me to demonstrate? Rolf: Yes Ed boy. Show us your hot shot car. Eddy: Don’t blink. (Eddy drives the car down the road and back.) Kevin: Okay, I guess I was wrong. I blame Sara. Sara: Shut up. I want to ride. Jimmy: We can really burn rubber this time, Sara. (Sara gives Eddy a quarter.)Sara: How do you work this thing? Eddy: Just push on the gas. (Sara pushes on the gas and crashes into a tree.) Sara: Jimmy, are you all right? Jimmy: Yes Sara. Eddy: You twerps broke it. Sara: Oh, shut up. It’s just a car. Eddy: A Go-Kart. Edd: Eddy, it was an accident. Eddy: Shut up. We’re going back to the junk yard and building another Go-Kart with Ed. (Scene change.) (At the junk yard.) Eddy: Ed. Ed. Where are you lumpy? (The space ship crashes into Earth.) Edd: A space ship. Eddy: A scam. (Double D and Eddy walk over to the space ship.) Eddy: Is this any clue to where lumpy is or are aliens invading again. Edd: Well it could be our creator making another alien episode. Eddy: Oh, great. Edd: Let’s go inside. (Inside the ship.) Eddy: No aliens. Edd: No aliens, but Ed’s finger prints. Eddy: Lumpy was here. Edd: If it crashed then Ed must be on another planet. Eddy: How do we get him back? Edd: I don’t know, but Ed does. (On the planet.) Ed: What do I do? I’m stranded. I must search for life, food, and shelter. (Ed sees a sign.) Ed: It says welcome aliens. (Ed enters.) (Ed sees little aliens.) Ed: Aliens. (The aliens look at Ed.) (Alarm sounds.) Ed: Oh, no. I've seen this in TV shows. They will do experiments and throw me in the dungeon. (On Earth.) Eddy: Double D I’m going to go to my house. Edd: Okay, Eddy. I’ll see you there. (Scene change.) (In Eddy’s room.) Eddy: Double dork is gonna look at the ship all day. I’m gonna plan a scam. Now I can make this like the Go-Kart scam or I can just make people pay to go inside the ship. I do the other one. (In the junk yard.) Edd: I think I can get a message to Ed. His imagination or at least I think it’s his imagination, is programmed into this ship. They are linked together. Now this isn’t sending anything to Ed’s mind as an outgoing signal, but if I can tap into it, I can send Ed a message. Eddy’s voice: Over here folks. Here it is the spaceship. Everyone: Wow. (Everyone gives Eddy a quarter.) Eddy: I’m a genius. Edd: Your letting people ride in this ship. Eddy: That’s right. Get ready to launch. (Eddy pulls the launch switch.) (The ship circles around the junk yard and lands.) Jonny: That was some ride. (Everyone walks out.) Eddy: I’m rich. (Double D talks into a microphone.) Edd: Ed, can you hear me? (On the planet.) (Ed is in a dungeon.) Ed: Double D? Edd: Yes it’s me, Ed. What planet are you on? Ed: Jirk, and these midget aliens threw me in a dungeon. They’re gonna experiment on me soon. Edd: Hold on Ed. We’re coming to get you.
To Be Continued…
The Most Horrible X-Ed Ever
Ed: They don’t want me anymore. (Ed walks all the way to the other side of the junk yard and sees a space ship.) Ed: Eddy: will really like me if he sees this. I should test it, first. (Ed walks into the space ship.) Ed: Look, a big red button. Blast off. I wonder what that means. (Ed pushes the button.) (The space ship blasts off and lands on another planet.) Ed: I’m on another planet. I have to get back to Earth. I think my imagination is programmed into this space ship. (Ed walks onto the planet.) Ed: I could check this place out, and then get back to Earth. It’s like the time Eddy and Double D were with me at that junk yard. Okay, I have to get back to Earth. (Ed’s spaceship blasts back to Earth.) Ed: Oh, no. How will I ever get back home now? (Scene change.)(Double D talks into a microphone.) Edd: Ed, can you hear me? (On the planet.) (Ed is in a dungeon.) Ed: Double D? Edd: Yes it’s me, Ed. What planet are you on? Ed: Jirk and these midget aliens threw me in a dungeon. They’re gonna experiment on me soon. Edd: Hold on Ed. We’re coming to get you. Eddy: What do we do if lumpy gets experimented on? Edd: Let’s just hope for the best. Think positive. (In the Cul-De-Sac.) Jonny: Everyone, I got a new telescope. Nazz: That’s rad Jonny. Jonny: Want to look at the stars tonight? Kevin: Sounds cool. (In the space ship.) Eddy: How do you even know where Jirk is? Edd: Be quiet. I’m trying to concentrate. Eddy: Stop yelling, sock head. (In the dungeon.) Ed: One day without food. I’m going crazy. (Ed jumps around.) (In the space ship.) Eddy: What if we don’t make it, Double D? Edd: I said think positive. They’ll experiment on him. Turn him inside out. Edd: If you don’t have him, you’ll have me. Eddy: You’re no fun, Mr. scamming people is wrong. Edd: It is wrong. Eddy: Ed might be an idiot sometimes, but he’s my friend. Edd: We’re getting closer to Jirk. (The ship lands.) Edd: Lay low, Eddy. (Double D and Eddy walk slowly to the sign.) Eddy: We are now entering alien territory. You know Double D; I’ll stay in the ship in case you get caught. Edd: You can’t save the day. We are doing this together, Eddy. Eddy: Shush. I see them. They’re small and green. Edd: Do you see the dungeon? Eddy: No. The dungeon’s probably in back. Edd: Let’s go around the outer area of the planet. (Double D and Eddy walk out and around.) Eddy: This stinks. Ed just had to take the space ship here. He could have been on Earth with us getting jawbreaker. Edd: You still have your money from when Sara drove the Go-Kart and when everyone rode in this spaceship. Eddy: Suckers. Edd: Just keep quiet or we are doomed. Eddy: I see the dungeon. Edd: I don’t. Where is it? Eddy: Behind that blue building. (Double D looks and sees it.) Edd: Okay, let’s creep around back and get Ed out of there. (They sneak around back.) (They hide behind the dungeon.) Edd: Is anyone watching? Eddy: There are two guards. Edd: This is bad. Eddy: Don’t worry. I’ll pick them up and throw them. They are so small. Edd: They did throw big Ed in a dungeon, so they have to be mighty in numbers. Eddy: If we catch them by surprise we can throw them before they sound any alarm or call anyone. Edd: Eddy, they have wrist watches that can probably call reinforcements. Eddy: So we steal their watches. (Eddy picks them up, takes their watches, and throws them.) Eddy: Let’s get down there. (They go down and see another guard.) (Eddy takes his watch and steps on it.) Eddy: I’m gonna throw this guy to Kingdom Come. You stay here and use his keys to free Ed. Edd: Where are his keys? (Eddy takes the alien’s keys.) Eddy: Here they are. (Eddy gives them to Double D.) Edd: Thanks Eddy. (Eddy goes up.) (Double D unlocks Ed’s cell.) (Back with Eddy.) Eddy: Bye, bye alien. (Eddy throws him.) (Eddy walks back down.) Eddy: Okay, Double D, I got them. (Double D is unconscious.) Eddy: Ed, what did you do to Double D. Ed: Ed wants to eat. Ed wants to drink. (Commercial break.) Eddy: You’re insane, Ed. Looks like it’s up to me to save the day and Double D said I couldn’t save the day. (Back on Earth.) Jonny: Look there’s Jirk. Nazz: Does this have the zoom in feature. Jonny: Of course. (Jonny zooms in and sees Eddy.) Jonny: Oh, my gosh. Guys, Ed, Edd and Eddy are on Jirk. Jimmy: They are? Yeah. It’s a wish come true. Kevin: I can’t believe the day finally came. Nazz: Kevin, how can you be so mean. Kevin: I hate the Eds. Nazz: What’s wrong with you? Ed, Edd and Eddy are in deep space and you are happy? You should be ashamed. Do you feel bad now? Kevin: No, but the Eds stopped a threat once and that threat was Eddy’s brother. Sara: Get over it. I’m happy. I hate my stupid brother. Eddy is very mean to me. Double D, well, I don’t have a good reason, but it’s two against one. Nazz: Jonny, we need you to build a space ship. Can you do that? Jonny: I’ll go to the junk yard and see what I can find. (Scene change.) (At the junk yard.) Jonny: I have to find a power source. Something like a battery. (Jonny sees a solar panel.) Jonny: Bingo. I can use this solar panel. To make a solar powered space ship. Now I have to find something that can be the engine. (Jonny sees a broken Go-Kart.) Jonny: Looks like one of the Ed’s failed Go-Karts. (Jonny takes the engine from it.) Jonny: How is this gonna help me blast off to space? Oh, wait I have an idea. I just need some matches. (Scene change.) (At the Cul-De-Sac.) Jonny: May I present the solar powered space ship. Kevin: How does it work? Jimmy: Simple. The solar panel powers up the engine and we throw a match in there which will create a lot of fire, blasting us to Jirk. Nazz: Do you have the matches? Jonny: No, but I was hoping you had some. Kevin: None of us have any. Jonny: Then we have to catch a stick on fire. Kevin: How? Jonny: Two options. One is we can keep a stick over a boiling pot of water. Two is we can rub sticks together. Kevin: Nazz and I can go inside and do the boiling water. Sara: Jimmy and I will try and make a fire by rubbing sticks together. (Scene change.) (At Kevin’s house.) (There is a boiling pot of water on the stove.) (Kevin is holding a stick over it.) Kevin: I don’t know how much longer I can do this. (Kevin gives the stick to his other hand.) Kevin: Man, this is hot. (Kevin gives the stick to Nazz.) (In the Cul-De-Sac.) (Sara is rubbing sticks together.) Sara: How much longer do I have to do this? Jimmy: Why are we doing it? Sara: Yeah, why are we. This is stupid. (Back in Kevin’s house.) (Nazz is holding the stick above the water.) Nazz: This is hard. (Nazz drops it on the burner.) Kevin: Just stay away from it. (The end of the stick catches fire.) Nazz: AHHHH. Kevin: Wait. It’s on fire. (Kevin grabs the stick and goes outside.) Kevin: I want everyone to stop because I made fire. Jonny: Quick, throw it in the engine. (Kevin throws the stick in the engine.) Jonny: Get ready to blast off. (On Jirk.) Eddy: Ed, you idiot. (Alarm sounds.) Eddy: Oh, great. (Aliens come down.) (Aliens throw them in the cell.) Eddy: This stinks. Ed: I’ll never eat food again. Eddy: You’ll never see daylight again. Jonny’s voice: Not unless we save you. Eddy: How did you get here? Jonny: We built a solar powered space ship, stuck around the outer part of the planet, and came here. What happened to Double D? Eddy: Ed went crazy and knocked him out. Did you get the keys? Jonny: Kevin is taking care of that. Kevin: Got them. Jonny: Bring everyone down here. (Everyone comes down.) Sara: Hey, big bro. Jimmy: Hi, Eds. Nazz: Sup guys. Rolf: Hello Ed boys and knocked out Ed boy. (Alarm sounds.) Eddy: I hate to interrupt the friend reunion, but they’re coming. (Jonny unlocks the cell.) (They run out of the dungeon.) (They run around the planet with aliens chasing them.) Jonny: Quickly, get to the ship. (Aliens are guarding the ship.) Ed: Those aliens won’t stop Ed from food. (Ed flings his shoe at the aliens.) Ed: Got them. (Ed gets his shoe.) (They go into the space ship.) (The space ship takes off.) Ed: I’ll have food again. (The ship crashes into Earth.) (Everyone gets out.) Ed: I’m going to eat. Edd: Eddy and I will join you Ed. Kevin: Want to go my house, Nazz? Nazz: Sure. Rolf: May Rolf come. Kevin: Get in here. Sara: Let’s play, Jimmy. (At Ed’s house.) Eddy: Ed, you might be an idiot, but you’re my pal and we’ll never fire you again.
He’s Ed-Vious
(In Mond-A-Go Go.) (A package is on the front step of the whale trailer.) Eddy’s Brother: Time to get my mail. (Door opens.) Eddy’s Brother: What do we have here? (Eddy’s Brother opens the package.) Eddy’s Brother: Cool, a video tape. And it’s titled Eddy’s Life. (Eddy’s Brother Smiles.) (Scene change.) (In the Cul-De-Sac.) Edd: I wonder if your brother ever got your tape, Eddy. Eddy: Who cares? He’s a jerk. Ed: Have no fear. I, Ed, have injured him. Eddy: We know Ed. You’re a hero. Ed: Thank you very much. Edd: What if he comes back? Eddy: What would make him want to come to this dump? Edd: That video tape you sent him. Eddy: I mailed that a long time ago. He won’t get it now. Eddy’s Brother’s voice: I beg to defer. Eddy: Ed, you can make with the injuring now. Why are you here, bro? I got a video tape from you. Edd: Told you. Eddy’s Brother: No worries. Where are Sara and Jimmy? Sara: You think stretching will help me. Eddy’s Brother: What’s up little kids? Sara: AHHHH. Eddy’s Brother: Don’t run. I came to do nice things, to restore peace. Sara: Will you give Jimmy and I piggy backs? Eddy’s Brother: Sure. (Sara and Jimmy jump on Eddy’s Brother.) Ed: Eddy’s Brother is nice. He’s just how I expected. (Scene change.) (At Peach Creak.) Eddy: Stupid test. How am I supposed to know the answers to this? (Eddy goes to the window.) Eddy: Big Bro. (Eddy’s Brother appears.) Eddy’s Brother: What do you need? Eddy: Can you tell me the answers to this test. Eddy’s Brother: Sure. (Eddy’s Brother whispers in Eddy’s ear.) (Double D frowns.) (Scene change.) (In the Cul-De-Sac.) Eddy: Big Bro, do you know what the square root of pi is? Eddy’s Brother: I’ll tell you, but I don’t want anyone else hearing, so I’ll whisper it in your ear. (Eddy’s Brother whispers in Eddy’s ear.) (Double D frowns.) Edd: Hello, Eddy. Eddy: Sup, Double D. (Scene change.) (In Double D’s house.) Edd: Eddy thinks his brother is soooooo cool. Everyone does. (Ed comes in.) Ed: Hi, Double D. Want to hang with Eddy’s brother? Edd: No thanks Ed. (Ed walks out.) Edd: What do I do to take him down? (In Rolf’s garden.) Eddy’s Brother: Rolf, you need help with your chickens? Rolf: Rolf’s chickens? Sure. Clean their house and feed them. (Double D walks in.) Edd: What are we doing here? Rolf: Eddy’s Brother is helping Rolf with his chickens. Edd: How come you never ask me for help, Rolf? Rolf: You never asked. (Scene change.) (It is nighttime.) (In Double D’s room.) Edd: I have to think of a plan to take him down. To make him go back to where we first found him, Mond-A-Go-Go. (Double D sits at his desk.) Edd: I guess I just have to sit here and think of a plan to take him down. (Scene change.) (It’s morning.) (Double D has sunglasses, a watch around his neck, and a baseball hat.) Jonny: Double D, is that you? Edd: Sure is. Kevin: Cool sunglasses. Edd: Just look. Don’t touch. Eddy: Double D, will you help me with my latest scam. Edd: Sure, can’t hurt. (Scene change.) (The sun is setting.) Eddy: Another day of no money. Today might be failure, but we’ve been doing very good lately. Edd: there’s always tomorrow. (Double D smirks at Eddy’s Brother.) Eddy Brother: Don’t smirk at me. You think you’re cooler than me? You’re not. Give me a night to think about this. Eddy: I better hit the hay, too. Edd: Wait, Eddy. I have a plan to let you in on. Eddy: Is it for cash? Edd: No. It’s to take your brother down. (Double D whispers into Eddy’s ear.) Eddy: Why should I do that? Edd: You go to him for everything, now. Not me. Eddy: I steal lines. Give me the night to think about this. Edd: Tell everybody. (Eddy runs off.) (Scene change.) (At dawn.) (In the trailer park.) Edd: Lee. (Lee opens the door.) Lee: Well it looks like a little Ed lost their way. Edd: I’m here to make a deal with you. (Marie and May show up at the door. Marie: What type of deal? Edd: I’ll let each of you kiss me if you help me take down Eddy’s brother. May: It’s a deal. Edd: I need you to open a manhole and hold it open. Marie: Got it. (Scene change.) (At night.) (All the kids are standing in front of Double D.) Edd: Thank you all for coming. We can now put out plan into faze one. Kevin: Okay. Edd: Oh, Eddy’s Brother. Kevin: Get him. (The kids chase Double D.) Edd: What are you doing? Kevin: We can’t let you take Eddy’s Brother down. (The Kankers hold the manhole open.) (Double D falls into it.) Edd: AHHHH. Sara: Well I think we stopped him good enough. Edd: Help. Kevin: No way. (Eddy’s Brother comes out.) Eddy’s Brother: What’s going on? Kevin: Nothing. Edd: Please help me. Eddy’s Brother: Is that Double D? Sara: Forget him. Eddy’s Brother: Right. How about some jawbreakers? I hear the candy store is open. Eddy: Thanks bro. I don’t know what I would do without you. (Everyone walks off.) Marie: Is our deal still on? Lee: Shut it Marie.
To Be Continued…
World War Ed
Edd: Help. Marie: Come on gals. Help him. (Lee reaches down and pulls Double D up.) Edd: Thank you Lee. Marie: Are you gonna give us that kiss now? Edd: Not yet. We had a deal to take down Eddy’s Brother. That is what we are going to do. (Scene change.) Marie: Double D, what do you want us to do? Edd: I saw that the kids were all playing a game of cards. Lee: So? Edd: So, you guys are going to ruin it and scare them away. Lee: How will that help get rid of Eddy’s Brother? Edd: Threaten them to listen to me. They chased me into a sewer. Marie: Come on, girls. Let’s give those idiots a Kanker welcome. Edd: That’s the spirit. Lee: Hold it. One, I’m in charge. Two, Eddy’s Brother is stronger than us. He’ll murder us. Edd: Not to worry. Eddy’s Brother is at Eddy’s house unpacking. Lee: Okay, girls. Let’s crash that party. Edd: Game. Lee: Whatever. Let’s go and crash the game. (Lee brakes down the door.) Lee: Well, well, well. I see you threw Double D into a sewer. I would be happy if he didn’t have a deal with us. Marie: Shut up, Lee. That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about. (Everyone screams.) Lee: Shut up. You are lucky we’re not hurting anyone. Now, I want you to help Double D take down Eddy’s Brother. Kevin: No way. Marie: Fine, but we’ll be back. Kevin: Let’s plan an attack. (Scene change.) Kevin: Oh, Kankers. WE planned an attack on you. Lee: What? Jonny: That’s right. (The Kankers chase everyone into Kevin’s house.) (Lee brakes down the door.) Kevin: Somebody get Eddy’s Brother. (Jonny runs for the door.) Lee: You aren’t going anywhere baldy. (Lee blocks Jonny.) Kevin: Why are you here? May: We have a deal going on. Marie: Yeah. With Double D. Eddy: Double D has gone bad. I’m so proud. Ed: Don’t be proud. Double D’s dark side makes me sweat. Eddy: I know Ed. You told us that when the kids were chasing us. Nazz: What do you want? Lee: We want you to help Double D take down Eddy’s Brother. Kevin: Is this like Britain vs. Germany? Lee: Exactly. Kevin: I call Britain. Lee: We are Germany. Nazz: So, where’s Double D? (At Eddy’s House.) (Edd opens the door.) Edd: Eddy’s Brother, I’m going to beat you up. You have everyone loving you, but you stopped them from loving me. Eddy’s Brother: I beat you into the ground with Eddy. I can kick your behind right now. I’ll be like USA attacking Japan. USA won. You think you can beat me. Edd: I’m going to try. (At Kevin’s house.) Kevin: Make a run for it, anyone. Get Eddy’s Brother. Lee: We have a deal to finish. Just surrender. Kevin: We believe in Eddy’s Brother. Lee: Well I guess it’s time to teach you guys a lesson. Kevin: Jonny, yell out the window. Marie: No. (Jonny yells out the window.) Jonny: Help, Eddy’s Brother. We need you. The Kankers are beating us up. (At Eddy’s House.) Eddy’s Brother: I hear Jonny. Edd: A cry of distress? Eddy’s Brother: I think so. Get out of my way. Edd: No way. Let’s fight. (At Kevin’s house.) Jonny: Help us. Please help us. Marie: No use, baldy. (Marie jumps on Jonny.) Jonny: Okay, now I am the one who needs a lot of help. (At Eddy’s house.) (Eddy’s Brother is on Double D.) Eddy’s Brother: Just give up already. Edd: Never. (Eddy's Brother starts jumping on Double D.) Edd: Okay, okay, I give up. Eddy’s Brother: Good. Now I have to save Britain from Germany. Edd: What? Eddy’s Brother: I have to save the kids from the Kankers. Edd: Now I know what you mean. (Scene change.) (Eddy’s Brother goes inside.) (The house shakes.) (The Kankers fly out.) Lee: Darn it. We don’t get our kisses. Eddy: And stay out. Eddy’s Brother: Peace is restored. Edd: I’m sorry, Eddy’s Brother. It’s just Eddy went to you for everything instead of me. Eddy’s Brother: It’s okay. Eddy: I think I’ll go to you for answers from now, Double D. Edd: Thank you Eddy. It’s nice to have peace restored.
An Ed Too Many 2: Permanent Crush TV-Y7 (1 H 30 M.)
Long Commercials
Sara: Dear Diary, I used to love Double D. I still love him. I’m just hiding it. Anyway it’s late. Tomorrow I’m going to hang out with him all day. I wonder how Jimmy will feel. Well goodnight diary. (Title shows up on screen.) Sara: I’m off to Double D. Off to Double D. Jimmy: Hey Sara. Where are you going? Don’t you want to play? Sara: Not today Jimmy. I’m off to see my love. Jimmy: She’s talking about Double D. (Scene change.) Edd: Our dinosaur is almost done guys. Sara: Hi Double D. Edd: Sara? Kevin: Dork. How many times do I have to tell you and your friends to keep your stupid scams off my yard? Edd: Sorry Kevin. Sara: Hey. You leave my boyfriend alone. Kevin: Boyfriend? (Sara kicks Kevin out.) Rolf: Double D Ed boy keep Ed out of Rolf’s chicken coop. Edd: Yes Rolf. Sara: Don’t talk to my boyfriend that way. Rolf: Rolf talks how Rolf talks. Do you think you can stop Rolf from talking like this or talking like this. Sara: That is a very nice thought Rolf. You know what else is nice? Rolf: What? Sara: If you will get your butt out of here. Rolf: Rolf doesn’t have to listen to the likes of you. Sara: You’ve got to shut up or do you know what I will do? Eddy: Ed, this is pure gold. Rolf: What are you going to do? Sara: I’ll beat you to a pulp. (Sara beats Rolf up.) (Sara throws Rolf out.) Sara: And stay out. (Scene change.) Jimmy: Who do I play with? I can’t believe that Sara is with Double D again. I hate him so much. If I was strong, I would make Double D pay. I would make all the Eds pay. (Scene change.) Nazz: Double D, I think I kind of like you. Sara: Back off, doll face. He’s mine. (Sara kicks Nazz out.) Kevin: Sara, don’t kick me out. I just want to hurt Double D. Sara: Oh, no you don’t. (Sara throws Kevin out.) Rolf: What happened Kevin boy? Kevin: I wanted to beat up the Eds for leaving one of their stupid scams on my front lawn and Sara threw me out, twice. Rolf: So we shall team up against Sara. Kevin: Yeah. Sure. Kevin: I’ve got Rolf here. Rolf: Kevin boy, grab Sara. (Kevin grabs Sara.) Kevin: Okay Rolf. Beat up Double D. Sara: I’ll beat up you touch my boyfriend. (Sara flips Kevin and jumps on Rolf.) Rolf: Ahhhh. Kevin boy, get her off. (Kevin pulls Sara off.) (Sara throws Rolf out.) Sara: What are you gonna do without Rolf, Kevin? Kevin: I’ll continue fighting. Sara: You think you can beat me? Kevin: Maybe. Maybe not. (They fight.) (Sara throws Kevin out.) Kevin: Okay, Rolf, what do we do? Rolf: Come back another day, yes? Kevin: I think they should get what for now. Rolf: Rolf is leaving. Kevin: You know I can’t take on Sara. Rolf: Kevin, boy, we will beat him up later, when Sara girl isn’t there. Kevin: Rolf, she’s saying that Double D is her boyfriend. She will stay with him as long as she’s his boyfriend. Rolf: You’re right. We need help. Kevin: How about fluffy? Rolf: You mean Jimmy? Kevin: Yeah. He hangs out with Sara all the time. Don’t you think he will be happy to get rid of Double D? Rolf: Yes. Let’s go get Fluffy. (Scene change.) Kevin: Jimmy, do you hate Double D hanging out with Sara? Jimmy: Yes. Kevin: Do you want to put a stop to it? Jimmy: I’m too sad. Kevin: Oh, okay.
(Commercial break.)
Eddy: I have a plan to get jawbreakers, Ed. (Eddy whispers in Double D’s ear.) Edd: Hey, Sara. Sara: Yes, boyfriend. Edd: Can you buy me three jawbreakers? Sara: Oh sure, boyfriend. (Scene change.) Eddy: Double D, you are the greatest. You tricked Sara into getting us jawbreakers. Lee’s voice: I smell something good. (Kankers appear.) Marie: Our boyfriends have jawbreakers. Sara: Double D is my boyfriend. Marie: Really. He’s mine. Sara: I’ll fight you for him. May: Kankers go. (The kankers pin Sara down.) Marie: Ha. We beat you. Double D’s mine. (Scene change.) (The Eds have kiss marks on their faces.) Sara: Well, Double D, I tried but they beat me, I still love you, you know, but there's nothing I can do from now. (Sara walks off.) Jimmy: I can’t take this. Double D has to go down. Sara: Hi, Jimmy. Jimmy: Sara. Did you break up with Double D? Sara: No, but I let him down. Jimmy: What happened? Sara: Well I bought Double D three jawbreakers. Then, the Kankers showed up. Jimmy: Then, what happened? Sara: Well I told Marie Double D is my boyfriend. I told her I would fight for Double D. All the Kankers, then started jumping on me. They pinned me down. I told Double D Well, Double D, I tried but they beat me, I still love you, you know, but there's nothing I can do from now. Jimmy: Wow. I thought you can beat up anyone. Sara: Well I was giving Kevin and Rolf a beating before. Jimmy: Why? Sara: Well they were going to beat Double D up because the Eds left a scam on Kevin’s front yard and Ed was playing with Rolf’s chickens. Jimmy: Were you scared of the Kankers? Sara: Well I was scared when they pinned me down and I was really scared when I had to tell Double D that I lost to the Kankers. Jimmy: Did you need to have a lot of courage to say Marie, Double D is my boyfriend and I’ll fight you for Double D. Sara: I needed to have a lot of courage to tell Marie, Double D is my boyfriend and I’ll fight you for Double D. Jimmy: Do you want to make sand castles? Sara: Is Jonny here? Jimmy: Why? Sara: Because Jonny is an idiot and he ruins everything. Remember when he ruined our sand castle before? Jimmy: Oh yeah. No, Jonny’s not here. Sara: Good. What do you want to make? Jimmy: How about ice cream? Sara: That sounds good. (Scene change.) Sara: I think that is the most beautiful ice cream ever. Jimmy: Yeah. Do you want to make a donut now? Sara: Well, Jimmy Jonny wanted to make a donut and if we make one, he might complain that he wants to take it. Jimmy: Oh, I see. Sara: I don’t want to make a cake either because Jonny ruined that when we made a cake. Jimmy: How about a pie? Sara: Let’s make it.
(Commercial break.)
Edd: Eddy, I’m concerned. Sara said she really liked me and ever since the Kankers beat her she seemed sad and lonely. Eddy: Who cares? At least that brat’s out of our hair now. Edd: But now, who will get you jawbreakers, Eddy. Eddy: Aw man. We need that brat back. Edd: Eddy, I kind of miss her. Eddy: Are you nuts? We all hate that girl and you miss her. Edd: I just can’t live with her so sad. Eddy: You’re insane. Even Ed is less insane than you. Right Ed? Ed: London Bridge is falling down. Eddy: I think that’s a yes. (Scene change.) (Double D keeps turning over in bed.) (Double D wakes up.) Edd: I can’t live with Sara so sad. It’s just not right. (Double D gets out of bed.) (Double D makes a machine.) Edd: Perfect. Now I can beat up the Kankers. All I need is the right anger. (Scene change.) Edd: Okay, Eddy I need you to steal Kevin’s bike. Eddy: With pleasure. Edd: Ed, I need you to take all of Rolf’s chickens to your house. Ed: Rodger that. Ed: Go do it. (At Kevin’s house.) Eddy: Okay I just grab Kevin’s bike and run away like crazy. (Eddy grabs Kevin’s bike and runs away.) (At Rolf’s house.) Ed: Grab the chickens, like Double D said. (Ed grabs the chickens and runs.) (Scene change.) Eddy: Okay, Double D. Ed and I did it. Edd: Great. Now Eddy, I need you to get really mad. Eddy: Okay, crazy. (At Kevin’s house.) Kevin: I’m pounding those dorks who took my bike. Just because Sara is on their side doesn’t mean I can’t hurt them. (At Rolf’s house.)Rolf: Those Ed boys think they can take Rolf’s chickens. Rolf will show them. (Scene change.) (Double D has a helmet on his head that is attached to the machine with wires.) Edd: I’m ready. Ready in three, two, one. Kevin: I don’t feel angry anymore. Rolf: Rolf doesn’t feel like he should beat the Ed’s to a pulp anymore. Eddy: I’m not angry. I wonder if it had something to do with Double D. Edd: I’m really angry, which means The Anger Strength Switcher worked. I can beat the Kankers now. I’ll teach them to mess with Sara. (At the playground.) Sara: Jimmy, I really miss Double D. Jimmy: Just get over it. Sara: What’s that supposed to mean? Jimmy: Just get over Double D. (Sara starts crying and runs away.) Jimmy: Sara, I didn’t mean it like that.
(Commercial break.)
Sara: What is Double D gonna do without me? He’s gonna get killed. He doesn’t have anyone to protect him. (At the trailer park.) (Double D knocks on the Kanker’s door.) Marie: Hello. Hey, everyone, it’s Double D. Edd: Sara might not be able to beat you, but I can. (Double D pins Marie down.) Lee: What the heck is going on? (Double D throws Marie at Lee and holds them both down to the floor.) May: aren’t you guys gonna get him. Lee Do you think we can right now? Get him off of us. (Double D pins May down with his other hand.) Edd: Now if you ever bother the Eds, me, or Sara again, I’ll beat you to a pulp. Got it? Kankers: Yes. Edd: Good. (Scene change.) (Double D has a helmet on his head that is attached to the machine with wires.) Edd: Okay, now I’m ready to give the anger back to Kevin, Rolf, and Eddy. Ready in three, two, one. Kevin: Ah, my anger’s back. Rolf: Rolf has a reason to beat the Eds again. Eddy: I’m angry again. Edd: I’m not angry anymore. It worked. Sara: Double D, I’m back. Edd: I told the Kankers if they ever messed with us again, I would beat them to a pulp. Sara: Great for you. Edd: How’s Jimmy doing? Sara: I think he’s fine. Jimmy: Sara hates me now. I’ve got to say I’m sorry. Sara: Yeah, I think he’s fine. Jimmy: Sara I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. Edd: Are you trying to say you like her? Jimmy: No. Edd: Yes you are. Time for another anger switch, in three, two, one. Edd: That’s it Jimmy, I’m beating you to another Cul De Sac. (Edd punches Jimmy and Jimmy flies into the sky.) Ed: That’s Jimmy up in the sky. Eddy: Finally the end of Jimmy. Sara: I was going to do that, but he is such a good friend of mine I didn’t have the guts to. Edd: That’s why I did it for you.
(Commercial break.)
Edd: Everything feels right again. I gave my anger back to Eddy, Kevin and Rolf. I also have Sara back. Eddy: And I have tons of jawbreakers. Ed: Life is good. Sara: I’m starting to get my way around Double D again. You’re right Ed. Life is good. Kevin: Where’s my bike? Rolf: And my chickens? Eddy: My garage. Ed: My room. Kevin: If they’re not there then you’re dead. Eddy: They are there. Kevin: Let’s beat them up anyways Rolf. Rolf: They did steal our stuff. Eddy: I can’t believe Sara got us all these jawbreakers. We’re rich off of jawbreakers. Edd: So Sara, you always liked me after that time. Sara: I hid it in my diary. Yesterday I thought I would hang out with you and it all worked out. Nazz: I decided now that I don’t like Double D. Sara: Well that’s good doll face. Now leave. (Nazz leaves.) Eddy: This is great. We have all the jawbreakers we can eat, Ed. Ed: Yeah. (Ed opens his mouth real big and eats all the jawbreakers. Eddy: You idiot. You ate all the jawbreakers. That means Sara will get made thus ending Double D’s relationship thus ending our jawbreaker income. Just keep it cool and she won’t know. Sara: Now Double D how about we have some jawbreakers? Edd: Sounds good. (Sara opens the door.) Sara: Where are all the jawbreakers? Ed: I ate them. Sara: Double D, you can’t keep your idiot friends in control for one minute. We’re through. I’m getting Jimmy back. Eddy: My jawbreakers. You are an idiot Ed. Edd: When we are adults we will meet again, Sara.
www.ed.com
Edd: It’s a fresh day for the leaders. Eddy: There is no Urban Ranger meeting today. Edd: We are the ones who decide when there is a meeting. Eddy: Rolf gave us a calendar. I plan to follow it. Edd: So what are we going to do today? Eddy: Beats me. How about we look over our past scams? Edd: We always have great ideas when we go over the past scams. Ed: How about the time we made the giant pancake? Eddy: How many times do I have to tell you, we didn’t do that? Ed: There is a flipper in our time capsule to prove it. Edd: Ed that was when we bartered eggs from Rolf. Eddy: You’re still wrong. That was when we spray painted that gold jewelry. Ed: Those were good pants I lost that day. Eddy: Can we all just shut up? We are not doing the time capsule again. Edd: How about doing it a different way? Eddy: Like… Edd: How about we make a document on the computer? Ed: How about a website? Eddy: Ed, I think you just thank. We can make a website of all the things we did. Let’s go to the computer. (Scene change.) (In Double D’s room.) (They are on the computer.) Ed: Okay I’ll start typing. Eddy: How about we write down that time we started a cruise? Ed: That’s great. (Ed starts typing.) One day, we Eds have started a cruise, and Jimmy and Jonny came. But then, three huge Krakens began chasing us, and, Luther the Barbarian had to stop them from blowing us up and sending us sky high. Edd: Ed, why don't I do the typing? How about the time we took Jonny in for stealing stuff? I was lucky I found my magnifying glass. There was also the time we met the Kankers. Remember the time we were at Nazz’s party. Eddy: Don’t remind me. Don’t put that up, it’s gross. Ed: There was the time you gave me a makeover, but then the Kankers ruined it. Eddy: Remember the time we had to babysit Sara? Ed: I never got paid. Eddy: There was the time I got picked on for being short. Then, you made me boots. They were great, until the Kankers showed up. Edd: There was the time we delivered paper. Eddy: We still never got paid. Ed: How about the time we found a camera. Eddy: The Kankers ruined that one, too. Edd: How about the time Sara fell in love with me? Eddy: Don’t write that. Remember the hid-and-seek game? Ed: We won. Eddy: I liked the time we found the wheel that made everyone our slaves. Ed: Kankers again. Edd: There was the time you trained me. Eddy: Kankers. Remember the time we… (Scene change.) Edd: Who could forget the scam that went horribly wrong? Ed: There was a mean brother there. Eddy: Shut up, Ed. He’s living here, now. Eddy: There was Jamie and the space adventure. Edd: The time Sara crushed on me again. Eddy: Let’s put them up. (Double D hits enter on the keyboard. (Scene change.) (They walk out of Eddy’s house. Nazz: Congrats guys. You have the most popular website ever. Eddy: We do? I mean- we do. Rolf: Rolf congratulates you. You told about the Urban Rangers. (In lemon brook.) Id: How is our website doing, Mark? Mark: We have five thousand people with us as our favorite. Id: I’m getting a soda. Triple D: Hey check this out Mark. There is this other website. Id: I’m back. Triple D: There is this other website Id. Mark: Ugh. Check how many people have it as their favorite website. Triple D: Uh oh. Mark: What? Triple D: It’s over nine thousand. (Id spits soda on Mark.) Id: Over nine thousand? (Mark starts strangling Id) Why did you spit soda all over me you big loaf? Id: I'm sorry. (Mark puts Id down.) Mark: Forget it. Triple D: I’ll send them a message. (Triple D starts typing.) Triple D: Your website is stupid. Get it off the internet. Id: That’s good. (At Eddy’s house.) Eddy: Double D, Ed, someone wrote your website is stupid. Get it off the internet. Ed: Send an angry message back to them. Eddy: How about a website war? Whoever has less people having it as their favorite website by tomorrow gets off the internet. (In lemon brook.) Id: Deal. (Scene change.) Eddy: I want you to think of as many adventures as you can Double D. Edd: Like what? Eddy: The time we had a superhero fight with the Kankers. Edd: I’ll post it. Eddy: There is only two hours left in the day and we’ve still got more people. Edd: How many more? Eddy: Two thousand. Edd: Okay, I’m not worrying. (In lemon brook.) Id: We are losing by two thousand. We have got to do something. Mark: I’m open to suggestions. Id: We can make up stories as crazy as theirs. (Scene change.) Eddy: We are losing the audience. Edd: What’s wrong? Eddy: WE are winning by five hundred. Edd: That’s bad. Eddy: Go to their website and see what they are doing. (Double D types.) Edd: They are making up stories as crazy as ours. Ed: Copy cats. Eddy: Wait. They are losing their audience. We are winning again. Edd: Check again. Eddy: Now we are losing our audience. Why? Edd: It’s eleven at night. Everyone is going to bed. Eddy: We’re still winning by four hundred. (Scene change.) Edd: It is now eleven thirty. Eddy: We are winning by two hundred. Edd: We are going to lose. They are winning the audience. Eddy: Do something. Edd: I’m working on it. Eddy: We are winning by one hundred and fifty. (Scene change.) Edd: It is now eleven forty. Ed: What is the breaking news? Eddy: We are winning by fifty. Edd: This is going to end with us losing. Ed: Don’t say that. (Scene change.) Ed: What time is it now, Double D? Edd: Eleven fifty. Ed: What’s the scoop, Eddy? Eddy: We are winning by ten. (Scene change.) Eddy: It’s felt like hours since Ed last asked you what time it was. Edd: Do you want to know? Ed: Yes, please. Edd: Eleven fifty five. Eddy: We only have five people between our scores. (Scene change.) Ed: I’ll ask it again. Eddy: Ed, would you shut up? Edd: I’ll just tell you. It is eleven fifty eight. Eddy: There is only one person left online and he’s on our side. Edd: It is now eleven fifty nine. Eddy: Triple D’s website has the person, now. Edd: Triple D? (Double D frowns.) Edd: You have forty seconds to win him back. Ed: Whatever you do, Eddy, don’t let us lose. Eddy: Don’t worry Ed, we aren’t gonna lose. Edd: Then, do something. Eddy: Make our homepage something that says super awesome adventure. Click here to view. Edd: On it. Ed: Hurry, Double D. Edd: What do we do, now? Eddy: Ed, I want you to tell us every detail of the pancake story. Double D, write it down. Ed: We put the butter in the Cul-De-Sac. Kids skated in it. We poured the batter in. Eddy: And the kids beat me up. Ed: That’s it. Edd: I’ve got it. Eddy: Post it. Edd: Done. Eddy: The dude is still on the other website. Edd: Five, four, three… Eddy: He’s on our website. (In lemon brook.) Id: No. (In Eddy’s house.) Edd: Two, one. Ed: Did we win? Eddy: Yes Ed, we won. I’ll sent Triple D a message. (Eddy starts typing.) Eddy: Ha. HA. We beat you. Get off the internet forever. (In lemon brook.) Id: We honored the bet. Mark: I’ll delete it. Id: What a sad day.
Speed Ed
Edd: What do you want to do today, Eddy? Eddy: I don’t know. Ed: Let’s see Kevin. Eddy: Why? What does Kevin do that is so cool? Besides, Kevin is just talking to the other kids. Kevin: How about a race? Sara: Where? Kevin: To the jawbreaker factory. Eddy: Kevin just said something about having a race to the jawbreaker factory. (They walk over.) Eddy: So Kevin, what is all this talk about a race? Kevin: Get lost, dork. Eddy: Why? Are you afraid we would beat you? Kevin: I would own you. Eddy: So what do you have to lose? Kevin: Okay. It’s a race to the jawbreaker factory. Eddy: Let’s go. Id’s voice: Not so fast. (Id, Mark, and Triple D appear. Eddy: Who are you? Id: You don’t know. Mark: Hello guy who beat us in a website contest with one stupid person. Edd: It’s the guys we had a website war with. Kevin: What are you guys here for? Id: To race of course. Kevin: You can be in the race. Everyone has to build Go-Karts. You can get your parts from the junk yard. Eddy: Ed, you know how to build a Go-Kart. You built one when you found a rocket ship. Kevin: I also forgot to mention no teams. It’s every man for himself. Eddy: I think I should fly solo. Edd: Same here. Ed: I’m going to start building. (Scene change.) (in the junk yard.) (Everyone is building a Go-Kart except Id and Triple D.) (At the racetrack.) Id: Okay, I set a trap for Rolf and a trap where the shortcut is. Triple D: I set one for the people who are just driving. (They run away.) (Scene change.) Kevin: We are ready to start. Eddy: I’ll say it. Ready, set, go. (The cars take off.) Id: Rolf is going to fall right into my trap. (Rolf drives over the trap.) Id: What? (Id rides over and falls down a hole.) Id: Falling into my own trap. Man. Rolf: Rolf will smoke all of you. (Rolf hits a tree.) Rolf: Rolf is down. (Eddy is next to Jimmy.) Eddy: Hey, Jimmy. I didn’t want to tell anyone, but there is a shortcut down that path. (Jimmy rides down the path.) (Sara follows him.) (Jimmy’s cart gets caught in a net.) Jimmy: Help. Sara: I’ll save you. (Sara cuts the net.) Jimmy: Thank you. Sara: Let’s get back in that race. Eddy: Jimmy is probably out of the way now. Kevin: Hey Double D, your smart. How far away is the jawbreaker factory? Edd: Five miles. Kevin: I’ll be there in no time. Nazz: We are doing great. Kevin: Nazz. Nazz: Yes Kevin. Kevin: There is a… (Nazz runs into trash cans.) Kevin: Block of trash cans. Eddy: How many people are left? Edd: Seven. Triple D, Kevin, Jonny, me, you, Mark, and Ed. Eddy: Say, where is that guy. Kevin: I don’t know. He probably got stuck somewhere. Triple D: None of you are beating me. (He takes Plank.) Jonny: Give Plank back. Triple D: No way. You are going to fall in a trap. (He falls into a hole.) Kevin: Looks like you fell into your own trap. Triple D: I see that, but I still have Plank. Eddy: I’m going to blow you up, Mark. Mark: You put blasters in your Go-Kart? Well so did I. (Canons come out of the sides of Eddy’s and Mark’s Go-kart.) (Kevin goes in between them.) Kevin: I’m going to beat you, dork. (Mark and Eddy blast Kevin.) Kevin: Darn it. (Jonny gets out of his Go-Kart and goes down the hole where Triple D fell.) Jonny: I’m going to save you, Plank. Eddy: And then there were four. Mark: I’m going to blow up Double D. Edd: I can dodge it. (Mark shoots Double, but misses.) Edd: You missed. (Double D falls into a river.) Mark: I didn’t need to hit you to lose. Eddy: Wow. I didn’t think I would make it this far. Mark: Well you won’t make it into first either. (Mark’s canon comes out.) (Eddy’s canon comes out.) (They fire and blow each other up.) Mark: Man that stank. Eddy: WE can find out the winner by running. (Ed’s Go-Kart comes up behind them.) Eddy: It’s Ed. Ed: Choo. Choo. (Ed makes it to the finsh line.) (Eddy runs in the finish.) Eddy: I made it. (Mark runs through the finish line.) Edd: Here I come. (Double D’s Go-Kart goes through the finish, followed by Jonny, Kevin, Triple D, Nazz, Sara, Jimmy, Rolf, and Id.) Eddy: I saw the whole thing the rankings are… Kevin: Hold on. Ed came in first place, so he knows the rankings. Ed: I came first. Eddy was second. Mark was third. Double D came in fourth. Jonny came in fifth. Jonny: Plank came too. Ed Kevin was sixth. Triple D came in seventh. Nazz came in eighth. Sara came in ninth, followed by Jimmy in tenth. Rolf came in eleventh. And dead last who fell in his own trap was Id. Id: Shut up. Eddy: Go back to your towns. (Id, Mark, and Triple D walk away.) Ed: I win jawbreakers for the day. Eddy: Wait for me and Double D. (Eddy and Double D run after Ed.)
An Ed to Remember
Eddy: Double D, you won’t believe what my brother told me. He said that I can have the new car he bought for his room. I told you I could get it when I’m fourteen. Edd: You can’t drive until you are sixteen. What use is having a car if you can’t drive it? Eddy: I hadn’t thought of that one. Well, be happy your fifteenth birthday is coming up in two weeks. Eddy: Yours is in three weeks and Ed’s is in five weeks. Edd: What are you thinking? Eddy: How about we celebrate our birthdays on the same night? Edd: I can work with that, but Ed’s birthday is three weeks away from yours. I think he will decline. Eddy: He can’t say no unless we ask. Edd: Oh for goodness sake. (Scene change.) (At Ed’s house.) Eddy: Ed, do you want to celebrate your birthday on the same night as mine. Ed: We have the same birthday? Put me in as the star of your party, Eddy. Eddy: No, Lumpy. We don’t share the same birthday, but you can celebrate it on the same night as mine. Ed: Sounds like a plan little man. Eddy: I told you he would go for it, Double D. Edd: For once I guess I was wrong Eddy. Eddy: In your face. Ed: So, when do we celebrate? Eddy: My birthday is in two weeks. (Scene change.) Nazz: Are you guys celebrating your birthday on the same day? Eddy: Yes we are. Nazz: Then, the party has to be three times as good as a regular birthday party. I can give you some ideas if you want. Eddy: So, what should we do? Nazz: You should have a limo to take us to the party. Eddy: Take you to the party? We only live thirty feet apart. Nazz: You are right. You should also have really pretty decorations inside and outside your house. Edd: We almost forgot. Whose house is the party going to be at? Eddy: How about mine? Ed: My brain is working. How about we decorate all of our houses and then the party can be at all our houses. Edd: that is kind of like having separate parties. Eddy: No, sock head. We can have the people go into each our house and we can have some stuff at each of the houses. Ed: Thank you, brain. Nazz: You should also have very good snacks. Eddy: Snacks? We will. Nazz: That is all I can think of. (Nazz walks away.) Eddy: Let’s prepare, Double D. (Scene change.) (At Eddy’s house.) (Music is on.) Kevin: I hate to say it dorks, but you through an awesome party. Did you look up party ideas in a book or something? Edd: Nazz gave us tips how to throw an awesome party. Kevin: Oh. Nazz: Great party, guys. You were listening really god to my advice. Eddy: We can also thank Ed’s head. It gave him the idea to have the party split between all our houses. Ed: Thank you brain. Eddy’s Brother: Great party, man. You actually pulled off a really good one. Eddy: Thanks bro. Eddy’s Brother: Only one more year until you will be driving that car. Eddy: Yeah. Sara: This is a great party, Ed. Ed: Thanks baby sister. Jimmy: I didn’t think you could pull it off. Eddy: Double D, it’s weird, ever since my fourteenth birthday, I felt like I should do better in school. Edd: That’s your voices inside you telling you these things. Eddy: It feels like one is saying scam the kids. Don’t do well in school. I feel like that voice is dying. Edd: I would say that is a good thing, but maybe it might not be the best thing to say. Nazz: Finally everyone is fifteen.
Row, Row, Row Your Ed
Eddy: It’s a once in a life time opportunity, Jonny. We are selling boats. Jonny: Plank and I want to test the boats before we pay. (Kevin shows up.) Kevin: I’ve got an idea. How about we have a race with these boats? Eddy: What happens if we win? Kevin: I’ll treat you to jawbreakers. Edd: Eddy, we can race with these boats, but I don’t know how long they will hold us. Eddy: It’s a deal. Ed: Row, row, row your boat gently down the… Eddy: Shut up Ed. (Scene change.) (The boats have engines on them.) Rolf: Gentlemen and ladies, get ready to row your boat. Eddy: At least Id, Mark, and Triple D aren’t here this time. Kevin: Thank you. Last time they cheated and set a lot of traps. Rolf: As I was saying, ready, set, go. (Rolf jumps into a boat.) (The boats take off.) Kevin: Hey, Rolf. Do you think you can beat me? Rolf: You got a head start, but there is no beating this son of a Shepard. (Kevin turns around to Rolf.) Kevin: You won’t beat me. Rolf: Your boat won’t survive. (Kevin turns around and his boat runs into shore.) Kevin: Aw, man. Rolf: See you later Kevin boy. Kevin: I’ll be back. Eddy: Who ever knew a scam like this would come in handy. Edd: Still, I can’t believe these boats are holding. Eddy: Why? Ed and I made them out of trees. Edd: How on Earth did you cut down a tree? Eddy: Ed is a weapon. Ed: Yes I am. Nazz: Turn ahead. (Everybody turns except Rolf.) (Rolf runs into the shore.) Rolf: Curse no driving skills. Eddy: That’s one chump less. Jonny: Plank wants to be a paddle. Eddy: If he does, you will lose. Jonny: I don’t care. Plank is my friend and friends listen to each other. (Jonny shuts off his engine and paddles with Plank.) Eddy: Sucker. Jimmy: Sara, how do we beat Eddy? (Sara whispers to Jimmy.) Jimmy: I love your plans. Eddy: Fallback. (Eddy stops and continues when Sara is in front of him.) (Eddy rams Sara’s engine.) Eddy: Ha, your engines busted. Sara: Jimmy, I’m down, I want you to win this race. (Eddy rams Jimmy’s engine.) Jimmy: I can’t, Sara. (The Ed’s approach the finish.) (Rolf comes up behind them.) Eddy: Where did he come from? (Kevin comes up behind them.) Kevin: See you late, dorks. Eddy: We can’t let him win. (Eddy take Ed’s tongue, lassos it to the finish, and goes through.) Kevin: No. (Scene change.) Eddy: I guess we won as a tie. Kevin: How about a rematch? Eddy: Okay, Kevin. (Scene change.) Rolf: Gentlemen and ladies, get ready to row your boats. Ready, set, go. (Rolf jumps into a boat.) (The boats take off.) Kevin: Hey, Rolf. Can you beat me? Rolf: You got a head start. (Kevin turns around to Rolf.) Kevin: You won’t beat me. Rolf: Your boat won’t survive. (Kevin turns around and his boat runs into shore.) Kevin: Again? Rolf: See you later Kevin boy. Kevin: I’ll be back. Nazz: Remember the turn ahead. (Everybody turns except Rolf.) (Rolf runs into the shore.) Rolf: Again? Curse no driving skills. Eddy: Good. He’s gone. Jonny: Plank, you want to be a paddle again? Okay, fine. Eddy: If he does, you will lose. Jonny: I don’t care. Plank is my friend and friends listen to each other. (Jonny shuts off his engine and paddles with Plank.) Eddy: Sucker. Jimmy: How can beat Eddy this time, Sara? (Sara whispers to Jimmy.) Jimmy: I love your plans. (Jimmy stops and continues when Eddy is in front of him.) (Eddy doges Jimmy.) Eddy: Ha, loser. Jimmy: Sara, we have to win. (The Ed’s pass the finish.) (Scene change.) Eddy: I guess we won as a tie, again. (Kevin gives the Eds jawbreakers.) Eddy: Thanks, Kevin. Edd: Even without a scam, we still got jawbreakers.
For the Love of Ed
(In the junkyard.) (There is a gate blocking Kevin from going in.) Kevin: Let me in, dorks. Eddy: Just twenty five cents. Just think of it. It’s a once in a life time opportunity Kevin. I see a bunch of bike parts in there. Kevin: I’ll give you a nickel. Eddy: A quarter. Kevin: Sometimes you make this so hard. Fine. (Kevin gives Eddy a quarter.)(Eddy let’s Kevin in.) Eddy: I’m sure I’ve made a very happy customer. Kevin: No, you’ve made a very angry customer who’s going to beat you up after I make my bike awesome. Edd: Can I go home now, Eddy? Eddy: Why? What if there are more customers? Edd: Can’t you and Ed handle them? You handled Kevin just fine. Eddy: Okay, fine. (Double D walks away.) (Scene change.) (In Double D’s room.) Edd: I wonder what Ed and Eddy are doing. (The phone rings.) Edd: I wonder who that can be. (Double D picks up the phone.) Edd: Double D here, Double D speaking. (The other person chatters for a few seconds.) Edd: You’re coming to my neighborhood to live here. (The other person chatters again.) Edd: That I great. Goodbye. (Double D puts the phone down.) Edd: I’ve got to tell Eddy. (Scene change.) (In the junkyard.) Sara: Open the gate you idiot. Eddy: You have to pay me twenty five cents. Jimmy: Is it worth it? Sara: Are you kidding? I heard from Kevin that there are dolls and dollhouses in there. Jimmy: C’mon Eddy, let us in. Eddy: Twenty five cents or no deal. Sara: Fine. (Sara gives Eddy twenty five cents.) Eddy: I forgot to tell you that it is twenty five cents each. (Jimmy gives Eddy twenty five cents.) (Eddy opens the gate.) (Sara and Jimmy walk in.) (Double D walks up.) Eddy: You missed it sock head. I got twenty five cents off of the ladies over there. (Jimmy and Sara are holding dolls.) Jimmy: Nice dolls. Eddy: So, what do you have to tell me? Edd: My cousin, Emily, is coming to the Cul-De-Sac to live with me. Ed: We are three. Eddy: Ed’s right. There can only be three of us. Edd: She’s not joining us. She’s just living here. Eddy: Okay, that’s fine. (Scene change.) (A moving van pulls up.) Jamie: I thought my moving van was big. Edd: She’s here. Jamie: Is she going to go through the same thing I did? Eddy: No man. She’s going to be with us like you, but you tried to fit in with the other people first, dude. Jamie: Okay, then. (Emily comes out.) Emily: Hi Edd. Edd: You can call me Double D. Everyone does. Emily: Okay, Double D. Eddy: Wow. Um, Double D, I’m going to go to my room now. Jamie: Don’t you want to stay and talk to Emily? Eddy: No. Let me be alone for me time. (Scene change.) (In Eddy’s room.) Eddy: I think I’m in love with that girl. She’s pretty. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone but Nazz. I don’t know who to pick. What am I thinking? Nazz never really seemed into me. This is my chance. (Scene change.) (In the Cul-De-Sac.) Emily: I wonder what happens here. Edd: Well there are a bunch of other kids living here. There is Kevin, who hates us. There is Nazz, who all the boys, including me, fall head over heels for. There is Rolf, who is from somewhere else and has an accent. Jonny carries a wooden board named Plank around as an imaginary friend. Jimmy always plays with Sara and does girl stuff. Sara plays with Jimmy all the time. Emily: Wow. That’s a lot of people. (Eddy walks up.) (Eddy shows Emily his mussels.) Eddy: Check out the guns on this guy. Emily: Nice mussels, Eddy. You’re cool. Jamie: Weird. Edd: Eddy? Emily: Do you want to go out sometime? Jamie: Did not see that coming. Edd: Neither did I. Eddy: Sounds good. (Emily walks away.) Eddy: Yes. I got a date. Edd: You like my cousin? Eddy: I thought she was kind of cute. Jamie: Dude. (Ed walks over.) Ed: What did I miss?
Crushed Like an Ed
Eddy: This is a score, Double D. I have your cute cousin on my love life and she likes it. Edd: Just wait until the dates all pay off. You will win her till you die. No. You will have her in the afterlife. Eddy: Will you shut up. She is my second dame that I have liked. My second? Nazz. I forgot how hot she was. I’ve got to make a tough decision here boys. Ed: Have fun, Eddy. Edd: This could go bad. Ed: What do you mean? Edd: If Eddy chooses one girl over another, the other girl could get rough. Ed: Double D, that is so stupid. (Scene change.) (Emily is walking along.) Emily: I’ve got to look for a girlfriend, one that I can share all my secrets with. (Sara walks by with Jimmy.). Sara: Who are you? Emily: I’m Emily, Double D’s cousin. Sara: Anything to do with that stupid Double D is bad. See you later. (The walk away.) Emily: Who am I going to find to be a girlfriend? Sara is way to mean. (Nazz walks by.) Nazz: Hi. What’s your name? Emily: I’m Emily. I’m trying to have someone as like my girlfriend. You know someone I can share all my feelings with. Nazz: I’ll be your friend. Emily: Thanks, Nazz. Wanna go talk about boys in my house. Nazz: Let’s go. (Scene change.) Eddy: Nazz, Emily. Where are you guys? Maybe they are in Emily’s house. (Eddy goes into Emily’s house.) (Nazz and Emily are lying down.) Emily: Hi Eddy. What’s up? Eddy: I’ve got an important decision to make. Nazz: What is it? Do you need our help? Eddy: Are you two best friends. Emily: Well we are getting to know each other, so I would say yeah. Eddy: Then, never mind. (Eddy runs out of the house.) (Scene change.) Eddy: I couldn’t tell them Double D. They are just getting to become best friends. Edd: I could do all the talking. You can stand there all pretty like. Eddy: How about a scam first? Scamming puts hair on your chest. Edd: I for one don’t like you scamming. You scam people like Nazz out of their money. That is why the dames don’t like you sometimes. Eddy: Shut up. Edd: I will do all the talking. Eddy: I don’t know, I’m kind of scared about this. I don’t get girls. You don’t get them either. Ed doesn’t get them. Ed: What? Eddy: Do you get girls lumpy? Ed: Girls are soft. They like boys. Eddy: I get that. Do you know how they think? Ed: No. Eddy: Didn’t think so. Edd: I will do all the talking. Eddy: I have to do this alone. (Scene change.) (In Emily’s House.) Emily: So, who do you like? Nazz: I thought Kevin was kind of cute Emily: Eddy likes me a lot. I can tell. Nazz: I liked Eddy also. Emily: Do you know what this means? Nazz: Eddy is going to have to pick which girl he wants to be with. (Eddy comes in the door.) Eddy: I have to pick which one of you I want to be with. Nazz: I knew it. Eddy: Emily, I don’t know if I can go through with you. You are Double D’s cousin. That kind of feels weird. Nazz: What about me? Eddy: I liked you for a long time. I do know you like Kevin. Nazz: Not that much. He would put his bike before me. Eddy: I have to pick Emily. Nazz: It’s okay. I can go out with someone like Ed or Kevin. Emily: Yeah, I got picked. No hard feeling, Nazz. Nazz: None taken. (Double D and Ed come in the door.) Ed Did you pick Eddy? Who did you pick? Eddy: Love can be cruel, but I picked Emily. Nazz: Hey Ed, want to go out. Ed: I got a date. How about tonight? Nazz: See you at your house. (Scene change.) (In Ed’s room.) (They are eating food.) Ed: How do you like the food? Nazz: It’s great. I have stuff under my bed we can play with. (Ed lifts up his covers and Nazz sees the gross stuff under Ed’s bed.) Nazz: You know what, it’s past my curfew. I should get home. Ed: See you later. Nazz: Or never. Ed: Okay, or never.
I Dated an Ed
Eddy: I told you this one was a score Double D. I got to pick her over Nazz. Ed: Dude that is cold. Last night Nazz and I were on a date and she said it would never happen again. Eddy: That must have hurt. Edd: I’m sorry Ed. (Scene change.) (Nazz and Emily are at Nazz’s house.) Nazz: That date with Ed last night was weird. He has gross stuff under his bed. Emily: Did you tell him it was over? Nazz: In a weird way that Ed would understand. Emily: I finally have feelings for Eddy. It feels good to be in love. Nazz: I was in love with Kevin when we were chasing the Eds. Emily: What did they do? Nazz: A scam that ruined the Cul-De-Sac. It hurt Kevin, Jonny, Rolf, and me. Emily: What do the Eds usually do? Nazz: They always try to get jawbreakers. They scam people out of money. Emily: Still, Eddy is fun to be around. (Eddy comes in.) Eddy: I don’t get why you are spending all your time with Nazz. What about me? Emily: It’s only natural to have a girlfriend. Eddy: Agreed, but you have to have time to have fun with me. Emily: Okay. What do you want to do? Eddy: Why don’t we talk? Girls love to talk. You and Nazz probably put so much carbine dioxide that you can’t breathe. Emily: Okay let’s go and talk. Where do you want to go? Eddy: A classic place like the junk yard. Emily: We can talk at the junk yard. Eddy: Let’s go. (They walk out the door.) (Scene change.) Edd: Ed, we have to find girls of our own. Eddy is on a higher level of cool than us now. Ed: The Kankers. Edd: Do you really want to be boyfriends with the Kankers? Ed: May doesn’t go that hard. Here she comes now. Edd: what? (The Kankers are running towards them.) Edd: Ed, run. (The Kankers grab Ed and Double D.) Marie: Looks like we found some boyfriends. May: The big one is here, Lee. Lee: Something ain’t right. Usually May tackles Ed first. Marie: Have you noticed that Eddy isn’t here. Lee: I’m thinking. I just noticed something, Eddy isn’t here. Ed: I know where Eddy is. Edd: Don’t tell them Ed. Lee: Cough it up just like that key we had to get out of you. Edd: I can still remember the horror at the end of the episode. Lee: Well now it’s a new episode. Ed: he’s with… Edd: Ed, don’t tell them. (Marie starts kissing Double D.) Edd: Still don’t tell them, Ed. (May kisses Ed.) Ed: AHHHH. He’s with his girlfriend. Lee: Girlfriend. (Fire shows up behind Lee.) Edd: Well you see, my cousin Emily moved here and Eddy likes her. Lee: Where are they? Ed: At Eddy’s house. Lee: Hold them down girls. I’ve got a score to settle. (Scene change.) (In Eddy’s house.) (Lee breaks down the door.) Lee: Knock, knock. How could you do this? Emily: Who is she? Eddy; A crazy girl who likes me, but I hate her. Lee: No one dates my Eddy but me. Eddy: Run, Emily. (Eddy and Emily run out Eddy’s door.) Lee: Get back here. (They see Marie and May.) May: There they are. I’ll keep Ed and Double D here. You go stop Eddy and Emily. Marie: Can do. (Marie hides in the bushes.) Eddy: We have to make a big run for it. (Marie sticks her foot out and trips them.) Lee: Well, well, well. Eddy: This doesn’t end well. (Lee kisses Eddy.) (Scene change.) Emily: Eddy, there is no easy way to say this. I think we should see other people. Between those crazy Kankers, this won’t work. Eddy: Yeah, you’re right. (Emily walks away.) Edd: That had to hurt Eddy. Ed: I know what it feels like. Eddy: You had Nazz for a night. I had Emily for days, Ed.
Kiss the Ed
(Rolf is cleaning his cow.) Kevin: Rolf, so you want to play a game of basketball? Rolf: Nincompoop, as Rolf must clean the cow. Kevin: Why do you waste your time on stupid chores? Rolf: Rolf must do chores or Rolf gets punished. Nincompoop, why do you want to play this basketball? Kevin: It’s a cool game. I can remember the first time I played. It was awesome. I was great at slamming and dunking. I once shot a crumpled up paper into a waste basket at school. The coach gave me a chance to show those skills. I have them. Rolf: Would you like Rolf to tell you about his history with chores? Kevin: You sat through my boring speech, so I can sit through yours. (At Nazz’s house.) Emily: For the last time Nazz, we need goat milk to make that omelet taste very good. Nazz: Rolf has a goat. Emily: Let’s go ask him for some milk. (At Rolf’s house.) Rolf: I had to chores back in my old country. It was hard work. (Emily and Nazz see Rolf.) Nazz: He’s with Kevin. We can get it later. Emily: The omelet won’t wait until later. Nazz: he won’t give it to us. Emily: You cannot kill the fun here. How about we ease drop? Nazz: Okay, girlfriend. Rolf: Rolf needs to get water from the big well in the center of the city. That is how Rolf got water for his family. Emily: He’s talking about his old country. Rolf: For money we don’t get an allowance. We had to get goods. Like chickens, pigs, and cows. Kevin: And you did what with them? Rolf: Bartered them. We each had to be on a stick. The stick went in Rolf’s belly. Emily: Dang, Rolf must be strong if he can take a stick in his gut. (Emily whispers quiet enough for Nazz not to hear.) Emily: Man strong. Nazz: What? Emily: Nothing. I just coughed. Rolf: We traded chickens and other farm animals. We ate them and used them for eggs and milk. Emily: Cool. Rolf: That is Rolf’s history with the old country. Kevin: That’s cool. I’ll just play basketball with Jonny. Rolf: Goodbye. (Emily whispers quiet enough for Nazz not to hear.) Emily: That is a man. Nazz: What? Emily: I coughed again. (Emily runs away.) (Scene change.) (Emily knocks on Eddy’s door.) Eddy: What do you want? Emily: I think I’m in love. Eddy: That’s great. I have the perfect spot. We can sit by the lake. What do you say? Emily: Lee Kanker is going to kill me if I’m with you again. Eddy: True. What are you here for then? Like I said I’m in love. Eddy: Please tell me it’s not Kevin. Emily: It is not Kevin. Eddy: Okay, now I can take it. Who is it? Emily: It’s Rolf. Eddy: Rolf. That guy is from a foreign country. You want kids that have foreign accents. Emily: It is a cool accent. Eddy: If you are going to continue to talk about this, I am going to run out the back door. Emily: I’ll just tell Nazz then. Eddy: Go. (Emily runs away.) (Scene change.) (Emily knocks on Nazz’s door.) Nazz: Hi Emily. Emily: I like Rolf. Nazz: What? Emily: I like Rolf, okay? Nazz: Rolf. He has weird food that he eats. Emily: They always say don’t knock it till you try it. That is a lesson to all the people who are watching this show. They will probably never follow it. Nazz: I’m still your girlfriend. I will support this. Emily: Thanks, Nazz. (Scene change.) (Eddy knocks on Double D’s door.) Eddy: Double D, your cousin is crazy. Edd: Emily would never do such a thing. Eddy: I know isn’t it horrible. She talked to me about it. Edd: You must have bee, mad, or were you happy. Eddy: Why would I be happy about Emily dating Rolf? Edd: Uh, yeah, that’s what I meant. Eddy: What did you really mean? Edd: Can’t say. This is a kid’s show. Eddy: We have to split them up. I heard from Nazz that she is eating with Rolf this afternoon. Go get Ed and we will stop this. (Jonny and Kevin are playing basketball.) Jonny: Why did you want to play with me Kevin? Kevin: Rolf didn’t. (The Eds walk past them.) Jonny: Hi Ed. Hi Eddy. Hi Double D. Edd: Not now Jonny. We’ve got something to do. (They open Rolf’s door.) Rolf: Hello Ed boys. Eddy: Emily, why are you with him. Emily: I like him. Rolf: This is so sudden. I think I like you to. Emily: We are a match. Eddy: Can’t let it happen. Emily: You can’t split us up. We are happy. Eddy: I like you to much. Emily: You think I want to date a guy who crushes relationships. Get over our relationship. Ed: Loud voice. Eddy: Nice cousin you got, Double D. Emily: I like Rolf. Let it be. Eddy: Okay, Emily. (They run away.) (Scene change.) Eddy: I guess there is no splitting them up. Edd: We have to move on. Lee: I heard that. Don’t think about going back to her. Eddy: That is another reason. Ed: I kind of liked her too. May: Don’t turn on me Ed. Or else. Ed: That’s another cause.
The Ed-Lovables
Double D: Eddy do you ever think we will ever fall in love? (Some mysterious music is heard.) Eddy: Huh? (They see a girl in a car.) Jamie: Another new kid. Does it ever stop? Eddy: Shut up. Double D, I was in love with Emily. (A girl comes out of a car.) Rolf: Hello, stranger. Sabrina: Hi. I’m a new kid here. I moved here from England. Nazz: I hear they have great uniforms there. Sabrina: They do. My name is Sabrina. Rolf: My name is Rolf. Sabrina: Oh hi Rolf. I’m gonna go over to everyone so they can introduce me to themselves. (Sabrina walks over to Kevin.) Sabrina: What’s your name? Kevin: I’m Kevin. (Sabina walks up to Nazz.) Nazz: Hi, I’m Nazz. (Sabrina walks up to Sara and Jimmy.) Sara: I’m Sara. This is Jimmy. Jimmy: Sara and I are best friends. (Sabrina walks over to Jonny and Plank.) Jonny: I’m Jonny and this is my best friend, Plank. (Sabrina walks over to the Eds.) Sabrina: I bet you guys are a trio. Eddy: We are. Eddy: My name is Eddy. These are my friends, Double D and Ed. Edd: My real name is Edd, but a lot of people call me Double D. (Sabrina walks over to Jamie.) Jamie: Hi Sabrina, I’m Jamie. I moved here a while ago. (Sabrina walks over to Emily.) Emily: I’m Emily. I’m Double D’s cousin. Sabrina: Nice to meet you all. I think I want to hang with the Eds first. Eddy: Let’s go. (They all walk off.) (Scene change.) Sabrina: Tell me about you guys. What do you like to do? Eddy: We scam people to buy jawbreakers. Edd: He is the one who comes up with all the plans. I don’t really like it. Sabrina: Okay. Edd: Why did you come with us? Sabrina: I thought you guys were cute. Ed: I was thinking the same thing. Eddy: Shut it, Ed. Sabrina: Thanks, Ed. I thought Double D was the cutest. Eddy: Why pick him when you’ve got a genius right here. I know comebacks at people and I know every bad word. Ed: Double D says bad words. Ed: No I don’t. I almost said one. Eddy: You said one, at the factory. Edd: Sextant isn’t bad. Eddy: Whatever you say. Sabrina: You guys are pretty cool. Eddy: Second, I need a girlfriend. Emily just dumped me because Lee Kanker kept beating us up. Sabrina: That must stink. Edd: We have have over one hundred scams. Eddy: We even have this popular website. Sabrina: I remember one like that I saw in England. It beat someone call Triple D’s website. Eddy: It’s owned by three people. We had a website war with them. Id, Mark, and Triple D are the owners. Sabina: That’s great that you beat them. I loved some of those scams you had. A lot of them had the Kankers ruining them. Like the time Ed tried to be cool. Eddy: They are not human. Sabina: Anyway, I’ve got to see the other kids. I’ll be back though. (Sabrina walks out the door.) Eddy: I like that girl. Edd: It obvious we all do. Eddy: She said she’d be back. (Scene change.) Eddy: I don’t think she kept her promise. It’s been three hours. (Sabrina comes in the door.) Sabrina: I’m back. Eddy: I knew you weren’t lying. Sabrina: I’m also going to a nice spot with Double D. Edd: I’d love to go with you, Sabrina. Eddy: What about me? What is so special about him? Sabina: I just like him. (They walk out the door.) Eddy: Ed, I have an idea. We are going to follow them. (Scene change.) (Ed and Eddy are walking around the Cul-De-Sac.) Kevin: Dorks, where are you going? Eddy: We don’t have to tell you. Kevin: I’ll bring Nazz along if you tell me. Eddy: We are going to spy on Double D and Sabrina. Kevin: Nazz, come here. (Nazz comes over there.) Nazz: What’s up? Kevin: We are going to spy on Double D and Sabrina. Eddy: Let’s go. (Scene change.) (Eddy, Ed, Nazz, and Kevin are hiding in a bush.) Sabrina: Double D, you are so cool. (They lean to kiss.) (Before they kiss, Kevin hops out of the bush.) Kevin: Go Double dork. Nazz: That is so cool Double D. Ed: Go Double D. It’s your birthday. Eddy: No. I want Sabrina to love me. Edd: Let me kiss her Eddy. Sabrina: I’ve got to go. Edd: Wait. Sabrina: I just can’t go with this. I’ll see you later. (She walks away.) Eddy: What a relief. Edd: That isn’t a relief, Eddy. You just ruined the love. Ed: Love hurts. Eddy: Besides, I didn’t get. Should you? Edd: Maybe not.
The War of Ed is over
Ed: Pick me Kevin. I am great at basketball. Kevin: Don’t eat the ball this time dork. (Ed walks over to Kevin.) Rolf: Rolf picks Jonny wood boy. Kevin: Nazz, You’re with me. Rolf: Double D Ed boy. (Double D walks over to Rolf.) Kevin: Play ball. (Kevin gets the ball.) Nazz: Over here Kevin. Edd: Jonny, I want you to stop Nazz from scoring. Jonny: Rodger that. (Double D takes out a measuring tape.) (Double D measures from Kevin’s goal.) Edd: Rolf, stand here. (Rolf stands there.) (Jonny gets the ball.) Edd: Jonny, throw it to Rolf. (Jonny throws the ball to Rolf.) Edd: Shoot Rolf, shoot. (Rolf shoots for the goal and makes it.) Kevin: Our ball. Edd: Do the same thing. (Kevin throws the ball to Ed.) Ed: What do I do with the pretty orange thing? Kevin: Throw it to me. (Ed throws the ball to Kevin.) (Kevin shoots and makes it.) Kevin: Awesome. (The school bell rings.) Kevin: I guess its tie. (Everyone walks away.) (Eddy walks out of school.) Eddy: Stupid teacher. He wants Kevin and me to do a wood shop project together. Edd: What a great way to get to know Kevin. Eddy: I know that he is an idiot. Edd: Not that. Maybe you two can become friends. Eddy: I don’t want to. He’s an idiot. Edd: Teachers usually do this. They pair two students, who hate each other, together. It usually ends with friendship. Eddy: Not this time. I’m gonna get this project over with and get rid of him. (Eddy runs away.) (Scene change.) (Eddy knocks on Kevin’s door.) (Kevin answers it.) Kevin: What do you want, dork? Eddy: You aren’t gonna like this anymore than me. The teacher wanted us to do a stupid wood shop project together. Kevin: What is he going to do if I don’t? I’ll just tell him you never told me. Eddy: I will go back to that school right now and tell them to announce it. Kevin: Okay, fine. Did they tell you to do anything specific? Eddy: No. The teacher just said woodshop project. Kevin: What do you want to do then? Eddy: We can make this wooden bike that moves. I know how much you love bikes. Kevin: You do? How much? Eddy: I know you love them over Nazz. Kevin: Just because I did it in the movie doesn’t mean I’m gonna do it here. Eddy: So how about we build a wooden bike. Kevin: Sounds like a plan. We can get the stuff from woodshop we need to make the bike and we can start tomorrow. Eddy: Sounds good. (Scene change.) (Kevin and Eddy walk out of school.) Kevin: Where do you want to build this? Eddy: We can build it at your house. (At Kevin’s house.) Kevin: I’ll go carve out the bike shape in the kitchen. You get the wheels out and think about where we can put them. Eddy: How about you carve it so it looks like you and I are on it? Kevin: Okay. (Kevin goes into the kitchen.) Eddy: I think I should go outside and look at Kevin’s bike to see where the wheels should go. (Eddy goes outside.) (Kevin comes back in with the carved bike.) Kevin: Where are you? (Kevin goes outside.) Eddy: Hi Kevin. Kevin: What are you doing? Eddy: Looking at your bike to see where the wheels go. (Eddy and Kevin go back inside.) Kevin: You looked, so you glue them. (Eddy glues the wheels onto the carving.) Kevin: Now let’s hand it in and hope for the best. (Scene change.) (Kevin and Eddy come out of school with the carving.) (The carving has a paper that says A+ on it.) Kevin we did it. Eddy: Want me to come over for snacks? Kevin: Sure. (Kevin walks away.) Edd: Are you to still hating each other? Ed: Yeah, Eddy. Edd: Is Kevin still an idiot? Eddy: You were right. It worked out. I’m going over his house. (Eddy runs away.) (Scene change.) (Eddy walks out Kevin’s door.) Kevin: See you later. Eddy: Goodbye. Edd: How was it at Kevin’s house? Eddy: Our war is over. I threw in a good word for you guys, too. Ed: Can I come to Kevin’s next party? Eddy: Sure, Ed. Edd: Let’s go to my house. Eddy: Great. Edd: Ah, friendships.
Dog Eat Ed
(Double D and Eddy are selling stuff.) Eddy: Get your musical instruments. Right here at Ed’s musical store. Rolf: My animals love the sound of music Ed boy. May Rolf try this musical instrument? Eddy: Sure, stretch. (Rolf plays a guitar made out of a garbage can and a string.) Eddy: Is that going to be cash or cash? Rolf: Rolf’s animals will love this. (Rolf plays more.) (Ed and his dog come up.) Edd: Ed, you have your dog? Ed: Parents are letting me take it out today. Edd: I hear Emily just got a dog. Is he fixed? Ed: He’s a dog. Eddy: Is Emily’s dog fixed? Edd: No, Eddy. Emily didn’t know that anyone else had a dog here. Eddy: Oh, I don’t like the sound of that. I don’t want to know where it is gonna go between those two dogs. Edd: Ed, you have to get that dog fixed. Ed: He’s a dog. Edd: Take him to your parents and tell them to get him fixed. Ed: Okay. (Emily walks her dog by.) (Ed’s dog sees Emily’s dog.) Edd: Emily, I think you should have that dog fixed. Emily: Who needs fixing? She is the only dog on the block. Eddy: Wrong. Ed has a dog. And he is a boy. Emily: I don’t want to know. Edd: Get her fixed. Emily: Is Ed getting his dog fixed? Edd: Yes. Emily: So what do I have to lose? Going to get a dog fixed is just wasting money. Edd: Okay, don’t get her fixed. Just keep her from Rex until we hear from Ed. (Scene change.) (Emily and Ed walk up to Ed and Double D.) Eddy: Did you get Rex fixed? Emily: We have a slight problem. Eddy: Well what is it? Emily: Ed’s dog got away. Then, when my dog and I were walking down the street, my dog saw Rex and chased after him. They ran off somewhere. Edd: That isn’t good. Eddy: Nice job. Edd: This is why I told you to get your dog fixed too. Emily: Do you want to argue or do you want to find those dogs? Eddy: Let me speak for Double D. Edd: No Eddy. We have to find those dogs. They could over populate. I don’t want to be a breeder. Emily: You realize they are engaged now. They will have babies before we find them. Eddy: Let’s tell everyone. (Scene change.) Eddy: Attention everyone, there are two dogs that we need to find. We need your help. Kevin: What’s in it for us? Eddy: How about a free instrument? Kevin: Deal. I was gonna buy one anyway. Edd: Let’s get searching. (Scene change.) (Everyone is searching for the dogs everywhere.) (Kevin dives in the garbage cans.) Eddy: What if we don’t find them? Ed: I can track his stench. Eddy: And you didn’t do that before why? Ed: I like this show longer. Eddy: This show is eleven minutes. Edd: Stop fighting about this show. Find the dogs. (They go into the junkyard.) (They search into everything.) Emily: We’ve looked everywhere. Edd: We will hear them someday. Just keep your ears open. (Scene change.) (There is howling coming from the junkyard.) Edd: It’s the day. Sara: We are gonna find the dogs. Jimmy: It’s this way. Kevin: I’m getting a guitar. Jonny: I get to see dogs and babies. (Eddy, Ed, and Double D run in front of the kids.) Eddy: You aren’t getting anything free. We’re getting there first. (The kids run faster.) (The Eds find the dogs.) Eddy: We found them first. Sara: Will you look at that? (There are baby dogs.) (Emily brings them all over behind a trash heep.) (Pause.) (Emily comes out from behind the trash heep.) Emily: They are girls. Ed: Puppies. Eddy: If there are no more interruptions, would anyone like a guitar?
Eds and Dogs
(The Eds are selling stuff.) Edd: I don’t like these scams. Shut up. The empty boxes of stuff I found will weigh as much as a cabinet. They will think they are buying a cabinet, but it’s just a stupid box of crud. (Sara comes up.) Sara: What the heck are you guys selling? Edd: Eddy is selling... (Eddy covers Double D’s mouth.) Eddy: I’m selling cabinets. Sara: Really? Will those boxes weigh as much as a cabinet? Ed: Sure will. Edd: Yes, but… Eddy: I said shut it. Sara: I need a place for me to keep my stuff. What the heck? If it’s a cabinet that the Eds are selling for only twenty five cents, then I’m buying it. (The kids come up.) Nazz: What’s going on? Eddy: Who wants cabinets? Kevin: Where did you, dorks get cabinets? Eddy: Junkyard. Kevin: I don’t believe you. They are just empty boxes. Eddy: Lift one up. (Kevin tries to lift a box up.) Kevin: Wow. I guess for once you aren’t lying. Eddy: Who wants some? (Sabrina comes up behind the Eds.) Sabrina: You guys want to play? Eddy: We’re kind of busy right now. Sabrina: Are you sure? Ed: Positive. Sabrina: I’ve got no one to play with. Eddy: Make your own fun like the other kids. Talk to Double D. Edd: Well we are kind of busy right now. How about later? Sabrina: Okay. (Sabrina walks away.) Eddy: Okay. Let’s get back to selling. (Scene change.) Sabrina: What do I do? I have no one to play with. Double D is too busy with Eddy’s stupid scams to go with me. I have to get a friend. I can bring my cat from back home. I’ll write a letter to ship him. (Scene change.) (The mailman drives up and drives away.) Sabrina: She’s here. (Sabrina opens the box.) (A cat jumps out.) Sabrina: Hi. (Sabrina puts a leash on the cat and walks her by the other kids.) Nazz: Look a cat. Ed: Cat? Sabrina: He’s my cat. Ed: You better get him away. Rex might see him. Sabrina: Rex won’t beat him up. Didn’t you train Rex? Ed: My parents did stuff, but dogs are dogs. They will always chase cats. Sabrina: I’m not afraid. (Rex comes running out of Ed’s house.) Eddy: You were saying. Sabrina: I’m saying shut it. (Rex tackles Sabrina’s cat.) Sabrina: Ed, you have to control your pet. Eddy: Let’s go Double D. We can go to your house and think of an idea to get Rex to stop. Edd: Let’s go. (Eddy and Double D run off.) Sabrina: I really need you to control your pet. Ed: He runs faster than me and has a free will. Sabrina: So, break that will. Crush his spirit. Ed: Why don’t you just take your cat home? Sabrina: He is my friend. I am not bringing him home. Ed: I’m not breaking my dogs will. Sabrina: What do you want to bring that thing home? Ed: Rex is staying with me today. (Scene change.) (In Double D’s room.) Eddy: I can’t think of anything. (Eddy starts reading a magazine.) Edd: You haven’t given this problem any thought. Eddy: You have a big brain. You can think of something. I’m thinking of Rex’s problems and how I can make him stop. Eddy: You’re looking at it the wrong way. Look at Sabrina and her cat’s problems. Edd: I knew you got an A on your report card for some reason. Eddy: I don’t want to bust my back caring. Edd: I see your laziness and scamming wants didn’t go away. Eddy: I do well in school and I don’t get detention. In problems like this I don’t care. Edd: I thought of something. I listened to what you said. Sabrina brought her cat because we didn’t hang with her. She was bored. Eddy: Let’s solve the problem. (Scene change.) Edd: Sabrina, we know why you brought your cat. You were lonely. We will play with you this time. Eddy: Not us. Hang with Emily and Nazz. They can be your girlfriends. Emily spent a lot of time with her. Emily: Nazz is a good girlfriend. Sabrina: Okay. I’ll ship him out back to my home. Eddy: By the way Ed, you do need better control over Rex.
World War Ed
Eddy: It’s a once in a life time opportunity. Do you have lights that keep turning off? They might be burning out. Buy some lights at Eddy’s lights. Kevin: Do they work? Eddy: Heck, yeah. (Kevin buys some.) Eddy: This is rich. (Double D runs up to Ed and Eddy.) Edd: You won’t believe what I just heard. Eddy: Did you get a new moron book? Edd: Books are great things. No. That isn’t it. I got a call from the U. S. Army. They are chasing people and they are heading straight for the Cul-De-Sac. Eddy: There is a war coming to the Cul-De-Sac? Edd: Yes. They are coming tonight. Eddy: What do we do? I’m too young to die. Edd: We have to stay away from everyone then. Don’t tell anyone else. They might freak. Ed: Soldiers. Cool. Edd: Just keep your mouths shut. (Scene change.) (Soldiers move in.) (There is a big barrier wall.) Eddy: Can we tell people now, Double D? Edd: Yes. We can warn them. Sara: What’s going on? Eddy: Soldiers from the army have come. Just stay away from them. Rolf: Double D Ed boy, what is stopping Rolf from his chores? Edd: Just stay away from the war. Rolf: Okay. Rolf must return to his chores. Ed: Kevin, Double D wanted me to tell you to stay away from the war. Kevin: Gee thanks. I will. Eddy: Stay away from the war Nazz. Nazz: I was never going to go there anyway. Edd: Emily, I need you to stay away from the war that is going on. Emily: I won’t go near. I’m just going to Nazz’s house. (Ed runs along.) Ed: Where was I going? Eddy: To tell Sabrina. You can’t do anything right. I’ll go tell her. (Scene change.) Eddy: Sabrina. Sabrina: What’s up? Eddy: Did anyone else tell you the big news? Sabrina: What big news? Eddy: The U. S. Army is in the Cul-De-Sac fighting, so I need you to stay away. Sabrina: Who is winning? Eddy: I can’t tell. Sabrina: I better help the U. S. win. Eddy: No. You have to stay away from the war. Sabrina: I have a confession to make. I’m Jewish. Eddy: That’s why you want to help the army? Sabrina: Yes. Let me go help them. Eddy: Stay away from the war. (Eddy walks away.) Sabrina: No promises. (Scene change.) Eddy: Guys. Sabrina wants to help U. S. A. win. She is Jewish. Edd: We have to stop her. Eddy: How are we going to do that? Eddy: We have to convince her that she can’t fight. It is too dangerous. Ed: School her well. Eddy: She might be your love. Edd: We have to stop her from going into that war. (Sabrina runs towards the war.) (The Eds tackle her.) Sabrina: What are you doing? Eddy: Saving you from yourself. Edd: You can’t enter the war. It’s too dangerous. Sabrina: I want to help. Eddy: You can help once you are twenty one. Right now you have to just watch. (Sabrina tries to get away.) Eddy: Double D, brain now. Edd: We could take her home. Eddy: She lives in England. Edd: We can mail her. She mailed her cat. Eddy: I like it. (They pull Sabrina away and stuff her into a box.) (Double D waves goodbye.) (The mail man comes.) Eddy: There she goes. Ed: I just thank. What if she joins the army there? Eddy: Didn’t count on that one. Edd: I liked her. It’s too bad we have to send her home. Eddy: It’s okay. Ed: Really Eddy? Eddy: Heck, yeah. Edd: Thank you Eddy. I have a feeling we will see her again someday.
Liar, Liar Ed on Fire
Eddy: Don’t you think that we get framed too much? Edd: We did get framed for Jimmy doing stuff to that friendship heart. Ed: I didn’t steal that paint brush. (Kevin walks over.) Kevin: Where did you dorks put my bike? Eddy: This is what I am talking about. Kevin: I want my bike back dorks. Eddy: Why would we steal your bike? We couldn’t ride it. You would see. Kevin: You could sell. Eddy: If we sold it then you would see people riding it and you would take it from them. Kevin: All I know is that you lied before. Eddy: For what? Kevin: What about the mucky boys? You lied about them breaking my window. I want my bike back. Eddy: We didn’t steal it. (Kevin walks away.) (Sara and Jimmy walk up.) Sara: Where did you guys take my dollies to? Eddy: Why would we want your stupid dolls? They’re for idiots like you. Sara: You could sell them. Eddy: Then, you would see someone playing with them and take them back. Sara: You would still get money. Jimmy: You’ve lied before. Eddy: When? Sara: What about Kevin’s window? There are no mucky boys. Jimmy: I want the dolls back. (Sara and Jimmy walk away.) (Rolf walks up to them.) Rolf: Someone has stolen Rolf’s eggplants Ed boys. Eddy: We wouldn’t steal those. When did we ever lie to you? Rolf: Rolf can’t think of any off the top of his head, but I’m sure you’ve done it before. What about the mucky boys? Eddy: Just shut up about them. (Rolf walks away.) (Jonny and Nazz walk up to the Eds.) Jonny: Where is my Plank? Nazz: Yeah. Where is my backpack? Eddy: How should we know? We didn’t steal it. Jonny: How do we know you aren’t lying? Nazz: You’ve lied before. Eddy: We never lied to you guys. Nazz: I bet you did. I just can’t think of any off the top of my head right now. Jonny: You lied to Kevin. You lied to him about the mucky boys. Eddy: Thanks for the hammer. Jonny: I want Plank back. (Jonny and Nazz walk away.) (Emily walks up.) Emily: Someone stole my stuff. Eddy: Don’t blame us. Everyone is accusing us. We didn’t steal anyone’s stuff. Emily: I believe you. Double D is my cousin, so he wouldn’t lie to me. (Emily walks away.) Edd: What do you think we should do Eddy? We don’t have any money to buy these people that stuff. Eddy: The junkyard has a ton of stuff. I bet we could find replacements for everything there. Edd: Finding parts for Kevin’s bike might be hard. The junkyard doesn’t have everything in the word. Ed: Let’s go. I don’t want to get framed for something I didn’t do. (Scene change.) (At the junkyard.) Eddy: Double D, look for Kevin’s bike parts. Ed, look for a backpack for Nazz. I’m going to look for wood for Jonny. I’m also going to look for Sara’s stupid dolls. (Double D and Ed run off to find the things. (Eddy runs on top of a mound of junk.) Eddy: I can see all I’m looking for from up here. (Eddy sees everyone’s stuff.) Eddy: I found everyone’s stolen stuff. Double D, Ed, come over here. (Double D and Ed come over.) Edd: You found everyone’s stuff? Eddy: It’s over there. Let’s get these things back to the kids. (Scene change.) (In the Cul-De-Sac.) Eddy: We found all your stuff. Come with us if you want to see your stuff. (Everyone follows the Eds to the junkyard.) Eddy: Over there. (The kids walk over.) (Mucky boys jump out at them.) Kevin: They’re real. Rolf: Mucky boys. Sara: How do we know they’re not Id, Mark, and Triple D? Kevin: I really don’t think it’s them. (The kids run back to the Cul-De-Sac.) (Scene change.) Eddy: Double D, make a net to catch the mucky boys. Edd: On it. (Double D runs to make the net.) Eddy: When he gets back we can go to the junkyard and catch the mucky boys. (Scene change.) (At the junkyard.) (The kids walk up to their stuff.) (The mucky boys jump out at them.) Kevin: Now. (The Eds trap the mucky boys in a net.) Eddy: We did it. (Scene change.) Eddy: I think you guys need to trust us more often. Kevin: We will.
When the Ed Goes Down
Eddy: I’m bored. Edd: Perhaps we can make mini Go-Karts for the Cul-De-Sac kids. Eddy: No. How about we watch TV? Everything good is on TV. Ed: I want to see the monster movies on TV. TV is good for Ed. (Scene change.) (Inside Eddy house.) (The Ed’s walk over to the TV.) (Jonny opens the door.) Jonny: Eds. You won’t believe what I just heard. Eddy: Plank is wood. Not real. Go away. Jonny: Did you know that there is a new jawbreaker? Eddy: What new jawbreaker? There’s a new one. Jonny: Yeah. Everyone is going to the candy store as soon as they get some money. We blew it all on old jawbreakers. Eddy: Live and learn. Wait. Kevin didn’t get one yet. Jonny: No one has. We don’t have any money. Eddy: Even though Kevin and I are friends I will get that jawbreaker before him. Jonny: Kevin doesn’t have any money and there is no way he would spend it on a scam. Everyone is saving up money for the new jawbreaker. No one is spending money on anything else. Eddy: I still say I can get that jawbreaker before him. Jonny: Good luck. (Jonny walks out the door.) Edd: Do you have any plans to get that jawbreaker? Eddy: A scam. It’s what we do to get money. Edd: You heard Jonny. No one is spending their money on anything. They will save it up for that new jawbreaker. Eddy: Shut up. (Scene change.) (There is a package on the street.) Jonny: Plank we found a package. (Kevin comes up.) Kevin: What’s in it? Jonny: Beats me. (Everyone comes over.) (Kevin opens it.) (There are three new jawbreakers inside.) Kevin: It’s the new jawbreaker. (Everyone gets in a fight cloud.) (The box comes out of the cloud.) Kevin: We have to settle this with a contest. Rolf: The goat of maturity. Kevin: Too easy. We need something that goes against Mother Nature. Edd: Technology. Kevin: I meant, in human nature. Edd: Sleeping, eating, and drinking. Kevin: That’s it. We can have a sleeping contest. It is way faster than a drinking or eating contest. That will take weeks. Eddy: I am the master of sleep-a-thons. (Scene change.) Kevin: Here are the rules. You guys have to stay awake as long as you can. If you fall asleep, you’re out. Jonny: Let’s show them how long we can stay awake, Plank. Kevin: The sun goes down in three, two, and one. (The sun goes down.) (Jonny falls asleep.) Eddy: Lesson number one, Jonny cannot stay up past when the sun sets. In fact, he sleeps through most of the episodes. Edd: I wonder who is next. Eddy: I have an idea. Ed: So do I. (Ed rolls over and stands on his head.) Eddy: All the blood is going to run to that empty box you call a head. (Eddy walks over to Jimmy.) Eddy: Hey Jimmy, I think we can make it to the finals. All you have to do is play that record over there. It is action music. It will help you stay awake. Jimmy: Really Eddy. (Jimmy goes over and turns the record player on.) (Lullaby music plays.) (Jimmy falls asleep.) Eddy: I told you that would work, Double D. (Kevin walks over to Sara.) Kevin: I think us Ed pounders should make it to the finals. Sara: Yeah right. Kevin: Really. Get the record player and hold it close to the Eds. They will fall asleep. Sara: Okay. (Sara goes over and picks up the record player.) (Kevin goes over, turns the volume up to the max, and turns it on.) (Sara falls asleep.) Kevin: Sleep tight. Eddy: Now to put our plan into faze three. Do you have any sleeping power? (Double D gives Eddy sleeping powder.) Eddy: Thank you. (Eddy walks over to Rolf.) Eddy: Hey Rolf. (Rolf turns around.) (Eddy throws sleeping powder in his face.) (Rolf falls asleep.) Kevin: That was cold. Eddy: I know. Kevin: Give me that bag. (Kevin and Eddy pull on the bag.) (The bag pops.) Edd: Now you’ve done it. We are all going to fall asleep now. (Double D, Eddy, and Kevin fall asleep.) (Scene change.) (The sun comes up.) (Everyone gets up.) Eddy: Who won? Kevin: It was a tie. We all fell asleep with that seeping powder. Ed: In correction. With all the blood flowing to my head, I stayed awake. I won. Eddy: Give me a jawbreaker Ed. Ed: Can do Eddy.
The Return of Ed
Eddy: I wonder if there are any more mucky boys. Edd: Let’s hope not. They take everyone’s stuff and we get framed. Eddy: I miss Emily being my girlfriend. Edd: I miss Sabrina. I can’t believe we had to mail her back there. How do we know she didn’t join the war? (Bus pulls up.) (Sabrina walks out.) Sabrina: That’s because I didn’t. Edd: You’re back. Sabrina: I joined the war, but I thought I would come back to see you guys. Eddy: I say we should have a party. We can invite everyone. I bet they will be surprised to see you again. Sabrina: That’s a good idea. Eddy: I’ve got millions of them. Double D doesn’t. Edd: We could have this tonight. (Scene change.) Eddy: The first thing we have to do is spread the word around that you are back. We have to tell everyone, so they can be excited to come to the party. They won’t come if we don’t tell them this big news. Sabrina: Let’s tell them. Eddy: Double D, you get Sara and Jimmy. They shouldn’t be hard to find. Ed, you get Rolf and Kevin. I’ll tell Emily, Nazz and Jamie. Edd: Okay Eddy. Ed: Rodger that. (In Sara’s room.) (Double D walks in.) Sara: What do you want? Edd: Sabrina is back. We are having a party tonight at Eddy’s. Sara: Sounds fun. Jimmy: We’ll be there. (Scene change.) Ed: Rolf. Rolf: Yes Ed boy. Ed: Sabrina is back. We are having a party tonight at Eddy’s. Rolf: I’ll be at the Ed boy’s house. (Ed runs over to Kevin’s house.) (Ed rings the doorbell.) Kevin: What do you want? Ed: Sabrina’s back. We are having a party tonight at Eddy’s. Kevin: Count me in. (Scene change.) (At Jamie’s house.) Jamie: Sabrina is back? This rocks. Eddy: I am having a party tonight at my house to celebrate her coming back. Jamie: I’ll be there. (Eddy runs to Nazz’s house.) (Eddy goes in Nazz’s house.) Emily: What’s up Eddy? Eddy: Sabrina is back. Nazz: In the Cul-De-Sac? Eddy: Yeah. I’m having a party tonight at my house. Nazz: Sounds rad. (Scene change.) Eddy: We told everyone. We have to prepare. We have to turn my house in to a party place. Sabrina: Let’s do it. Double D, you get the kitchen. Eddy, you get your room. Ed, help Eddy. I’ll get the rest of the house. Eddy: Okay. Ed: I want to party. I’m a party animal. Eddy: You’re already an animal, Ed. Ed: I’m an alligator. Eddy: Shut up. You heard Sabrina and I. We have to turn this into a party room. Ed: Eddy, what do you have to change? You’ve got a mirror ball. You’ve got a lava lamp. You’ve got records. And you’ve got someone in the kitchen with Dina. Eddy: We need it even better stupid. We need streamers, decorations, and lights. We need lots and lots of lights. Ed: Teens love those things. What weird cravings. Eddy: You should understand. (Scene change.) (Everything is decorated.) Sabrina: We did a great job. (People start coming in.) Sara: Cool party. Nazz: Rad. Rolf: Rolf likes this. Eddy: We did it. (Things start breaking.) Sabrina: That’s the teens going crazy. People go crazy at parties. (People throw things around.) (Scene change.) (The house is destroyed.) Eddy: Well that could’ve gone better. Edd: I’m glad you agreed to host it. Eddy: Remind me to let Ed host it next time. He already has a messed up house. Ed: I’m messed up Eddy. Eddy: You really are Ed. You really are.
The Tower of Ed
Eddy: This is my favorite time of year. Ed: It puts me in my happy place Eddy. Edd: Yes, it is a good time of year. Spring break is a wonderful time. Eddy: The best part about it is that there is no school, which means more scams. Edd: I hardly see the value in that. Eddy: The scams and the girls. Edd: Where are Emily, Sabrina, and Nazz? (Sabrina walks by them.) Eddy: You ready for Spring break? Sabrina: Sure am. I’m all packed. Eddy: You aren’t leaving again are you? Sabrina: I won’t be leaving forever, but I am going to England for Spring break. It’s where I was before I came here. Ed: I can’t handle a Spring break with zero girls. Eddy: You are half of our plans to do this Spring break. Sabrina: Sorry, but I really want to go back there. I want to see what is happening. Ed: I can’t take zero girls. Sabrina: Do you want to scam. Or do you want to see me? Eddy: At this point I think we want to see you. (Sabrina sighs.) Sabrina: You can come to England with me. Eddy: Awesome. We get to go to England. It’s right next to Japan. It is home of the Blu-ray. Sabrina: Just pack. We are leaving tomorrow. (Scene change.) (The Eds walk out of their houses with suit cases.) Eddy: You guys all packed? Edd: I packed only the essentials. Ed: So did I. Eddy: In your words the essentials are everything. (The Kankers look at them from a bush.) May: We can’t let them go with that girl. It might be love. We are going to marry the Eds. Lee: Shut your trap. We are going to stop the Eds from going. Marie: I have an idea. They are taking a bus to the airport, so when it pulls up we go over to it and loosen some bolts. All the gas will come out. Lee: There is no we. You do it. It’s your plan. Marie: Fine. (A bus pulls up.) Sabrina: That’s our bus. Lee: Go. (Marie walks up to the bus.) (Marie loosens bolts.) (The bus doesn’t move.) Sabrina: Uh oh. I think there’s a problem with the bus. Eddy: That means no going to England. Edd: It won’t be all bad. Eddy: I won’t get a Blu-ray Player. Ed: I want to go England. Sabrina: Don’t worry. We can take my parents car. (They run out of the bus and get in the car.) (The car drives off.) May: Great plan Marie. (At the airport.) Sabrina: Now we just have to get on the flight. Eddy: We are going to England. Ed: Blu-ray. Blu-ray. (The Kankers are under the path to the plane.) Marie: Now we just loosen the bolts here and they all fall. They will have to fix it. Once they fix it, we break it again. (The Kankers loosen the bolts.) (The Eds walk on the path.) Sabrina: This will be fun. (The flight path breaks.) May: It worked. (The Eds are hanging on.) Eddy: Kankers. What are you guys doing here? Lee: Stopping you from going on a vacation with an idiot. Edd: Push up and get on the plane. Marie: No you don’t. (The Eds climb up in the plane.) Eddy: Oh yes we did. Lee: Your plans fail Marie. (The plane flies away.) May: We are going to beat you up. (Lee and May beat up Marie.) (On the plane.) Eddy: We did it. We beat the Kankers. Sabrina: Best of all you get to spend a vacation with me. (Scene change.) (A bus pulls up at the Cul-De-Sac.) (The Eds walk out.) Eddy: That was one hack of a vacation. Kevin: Where did you guys go? Eddy: To England. Kevin: Next to the home of the Blu-ray? Eddy: Yep. Kevin: Did you get me a Blu-ray player. Eddy: Nope. Kevin: Did you get yourself one? Eddy: No. Kevin: Why not? Ten Eighty P resolution. Eddy: I didn’t have any money. Kevin: That’s normal.